Dry 14

[glad2016]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

Granted I didn't stay sober but I did do almost a year (damn fuck it button). It will get easier pimp and pillow and the times you think about drinking not as frequent, I think I noticed a real change about 5-6 months where I went from almost mourning not having a drink to celebrating it. Well done on 75 days!!

I think you're on the right path pillow, think of things you want to do and goals you want to achieve that you couldn't complete with drinking. I remember reading somewhere ages about that alcohol does push out (might have been Vale or that dying for a drink) aspects of life, it takes up so much time and headspace. When you stop it leaves this hole that needs to be filled.

choc I think people sometimes feel like their drinking is then in the spotlight if someone close to them quits and they get defensive.

Great going patchwork, little tip I picked up from here before is to have a nice treat lined up for whem you get home sober from an event/night out as it's pretty common to have those wine thoughts once you hit the house.

Well done on day 7 now Maudlin and Yellow, A week, brilliant! I do feel better after a good night's sleep and yes, there's only today to contend with. I think that was my little addictive voice a-calling. I think about life without it, get stressed then what normally happens when I get stressed?

Day 14 here. Longest period since I started again. Quite chuffed so I'm going to pick myself up a little treat while I'm out getting a birthday present today.

Thanks Tattoo. Remind me what made you relapse? What was it like? Do you feel you wenter actually back to zero or is it different?
What sort of thing do you like to read One?
We could have a sober book club and a recipe of the week!

I like that idea!

I read all sorts, really. Novels and short stories - though I also like non fiction. I have a STACK of books by my bed that I buy because I like the look of, then end up spending the evening lying in bed surfing the internet and getting leathered. Pathetic, isn't it?

But it doesn't need to be like that anymore. I can cook something interesting, feed my face then retire with a book.

In fact, I have a little bit of money left from house rennovation stuff. Perhaps I will buy myself a lovely special reading armchair for my 100 days sober treat. What do you reckon?

What will you do for yours, pimp?

Congratulations one and pimperanella - 75 days is a huge achievement

Maudlin and yellow - well done on 7 days - awesome. maudlin how are you feeling this morning? All I would say is don't be too hard on yourself. I got really fixated on my weight - I haven't lost an ounce since I stopped at the end of March. Tried 5:2 but couldn't keep it up - it was too much with the not drinking as well - especially when I was experiencing PAWS. I have started that diet you mentioned today.

tattoo 14 days is brilliant - you got this !

choco you are doing great.

Waves to everyone else. X

I love the idea of us all doing a sober book club!

My reading also went out the window, I think I'm just starting to pick it up again. Especially love long reading sessions in the bath!

Went out for a lovely meal last night with dp, as was celebrating 100 days early (my day 100 is Tuesday)

I'm not missing drinking apart from the occasional feeling of sadness that I'll never enjoy the buzz of being just the right level of drunk again. Mind you, I often want just the right level, hence giving up!

I'm starting to feel ok about telling people'this is a forever plan' am terrified of failing, but am talking about it, which is great.

Off to spend the day spring cleaning the house. I know its not spring, but it feels like it to me! Really enjoying my new start on life.

Koko,

Hello everyone and what a treat it is to wake up feeling clear headed and happy. I didn't exactly ace my first week but I'm happy I've made it 7 days without a hangover.

pnewhitepillow so much of your post at 08:38 reaonated with me. I absolutely love cooking and can happily fill a whole evening gently, chopping, stiring and baking.
Also the wine poured before your coat is even off. I'd be clock watching to the minute for drinks
time.

Two weeks is brilliant tattoos you deserve a lovely treat.

finnish a sober book club sounds like a great idea. I read loads whilst pregnant but never equated it with not drinking.

My 'holiday' at my mum's end today and I don't know if it'll be easier or harder when I'm home. My family are social daily drinkers but being surrounded by others makes me moderate my intake at least. When I'm home and especially on evenings alone there's no one to judge and I'll get drunk alone as I'm my favourite drinking partner, closely followed by dp .
My other worry is Dp doesn't drink to excess often but he is a heavy daily pot smoker and now I'm resolute in my no drinking the idea of sharing a joint with him in the garden is looking appealing. I'm a non smoker who hasn't had a puff since pregnancy but I'm still chasing that feeling of oblivion.
I think his pot habit is behind his reluctance to acknowledge my drinking issues, he knows I have a good retort! Co dependence at its finest .

I also love the idea of a sober book club! One of my pleasures this week as been getting back into reading. Finishing off The Secret History by Donna Tartt and really enjoying it.

I adore the idea of a special reading armchair pillow.

Pimp, I just went fuck it. Was going to a club night, I used to be well into clubbing in my younger years and knew it was the kind of night there would loads of drugs taken. I used to take a fair amount of drugs myself but haven't touched them in years, somehow in my mind alcohol was the lesser of two evils Ended up disgracefully leathered that night to the point the night was a shambles. Still after I was able to moderate for a few months to a certain extent as I was really fit; did half marathons, went to the gym 5/6 times a week and I knew drinking the night before wasn't conducive to performing well. Honestly I was obsessive about exercise, well probably more accurate to say addicted - I'm consistent if nothing else I knew I was addicted as it also took up so much headspace and time pushing myself to do better and faster, getting grumpy if I couldn't do anything that day but I felt like at least it wasn't a bad addiction of have. Only when I picked up a nasty injury that I'm still recovering from and not able to exercise, my downward spiral started very quickly again. It's been a learning experience though, I can't regret that in a way. I now know not to hang my sobriety on one peg and I require balance in everything in my life. Now I would just be happy to be able to do few 5ks a week and fill my free time with other stuff.

Hi!

day 7 here today. Very happy about moving forwards with life although not actually that well and perky physically. ExP is out with the dcs watching Finding Dory, which is exactly the kind of thing that used to make me feel hollow and awful a few weeks ago - and I am sure will again - but today I am just getting on with being happy by myself, because I have started this diet and am learning to be AF and feel like my life can go to new places. I feel a bit lost and empty about what they might be - I don't really feel like any plans are suggesting themselves - I am just trusting that when I feel better and am able to get out more, things will turn up. I hope. Tell me this is true! Tell me everything will be ok!

Maudlin you are doing SO WELL. I didn't feel positive - like you are - for WEEKS and look at you, just on day 7 and already ready and prepared for the new lovely life you are going to have. I feel like I am catching up with YOU.

'I am just trusting that when I feel better and am able to get out more, things will turn up.'

I am going to write that down in my notebook of helpful things tonight. You are so right. Thank you.

Well done on a whole week maudlin I'm hoping to manage the same soon. Someone told me not to expect to feel amazing initially. I've had crushing heAdaches and tiredness all week. The good times are on there way.

tattoos wish I was going clubbing tonight! I'm on a train heading back home and God it's hard. Young women giggling over a bottle of wine gearing up for a London night out, the nostalgic smell of some lads cheap aftershave and waiting at the station a faint waft of smoke on the breeze. It just makes me want to head to the carriage bar, down a few and get the party started. In reality I'm chewing airwaves blackcurrant (perfect as it's both sweet and strong) and focused on getting a sleeping toddler back to an empty house. I feel so washed up and boring at 31

play it forward, strongtea

And travel safe. x

My first one would have been a toddler at 31 too Strong so I know exactly how you feel. My drinking really took off once I had him, for reasons around his birth and baby years that I've mentioned before, I had pnd and I felt so stifled as he grew up a bit, like this was my role of 'mother' now but I lost a lot of my own identity. I now have another one not much older than a toddler so I'm doing it all again. It's much easier this time in certain ways but I do get exasperated and feel trapped sometimes and wish I could back to those carefree days with no responsibilities or even just a week where I can be me again.

It will work out Maudlin, I'm a single parent too and wish I had your positivity at the start when I went through my split. A week is brilliant, well done and enjoy your peace and quiet.

Oh and I bought a pretty notebook and a nice pen. I have a thing for stationery and really don't need one but thought I could use it as some sort of sobriety journal for jotting things down.

Have you heard of Bullet Journalling tattoos? Might be up your street. I keep looking at the thread on here and various pinterest pages about it, but not sure I have the energy to learn a new system. It looks a bit complicated - but useful, perhaps, if you want to keep your head and hands busy?

I glanced at the thread at the start of the new year pillow but was taking part in the small changes one (didn't last ), was too much to take on at once. Will have a look at it again, thanks for reminding me. I'm very into making lists for myself, bit sad that way, ticking things off makes me feel accomplished

Anyone any favourite songs that they would listen to that reminds them of recovery? I'm making up a playlist for myself as I find certain songs helps me feel hopeful and strengthens my resolve.

Good evening everybody - day 7 is nearly done!! Well done to everyone who's had a sober day.

I thought today would be easier than yesterday but it's been a bit harder. I feel very tired and a bit emotional - so just got in and come straight to bed with a herbal tea away from temptation of wine and music downstairs.

When I started last week I didn't think I could even do a whole week so am pleased to get this far. And was fantastic to wake up this morning with s clear head and no guilt or anxiety or shame having had a restful sleep for once

tattoo how about that song by Elbow - One day like this. I love it and find it uplifting, and the titles quite prophetic - especially if you think of a sober beautiful day ?

Fantastic going on a week yellow . That morning feeling is hard to beat, no regrets and recriminations. Sorry you're feeling a bit glum tonight but good move going to bed out of temptations way. I hope some sleep improves your mood. I love that song, perfect :) Very encouraging and I haven't heard it in years, it's now on my list.

Feeling a bit down in the dumps myself tonight. Dc are away to exp and I've had to sit in the house by myself as the purse is considerably lighter after holidays and school uniform purchasing. I wouldn't trust myself to head out anyway right at this moment in time but besides the point. Haven't seen dp in two weeks with me being away and other stuff going on so feeling a bit lonely and sorry for myself. Off to bed for me, tomorrow's a new day.

Well done new starters.
For me, the first week or two were the worst. Then there was a lovely, euphoric period where everything was great. After that the days add up and though there are still struggles, I generally feel proud and determined.
So! Who is in for sober book club?

Let me tell you what happened to me yesterday!
We are on holiday and I ordered a Virginia mohito. The bar was fairly fancy and the cocktail was delicious - very different to others I had had. I let the kids and DH have a sip and DH said, 'Are you sure there is no alcohol in it?'
I said I was certain but then got to thinking, it was lovely, language barriers may have resulted in the waitress just writing down mohito only....was I sure? No!
I sat trying to think what to do! Should I say nothing to dh ( we are both abstaining)and finish it...enjoy the lovely alcohol and never tell? If I did drink it would I be back at day one? Would One pillow still let me be her same day buddy? Should I admit it to DH and risk his sobriety since if I had had a drink he should and it would all come crashing down?
I sat there not drinking....not drinking....not drinking. I pulled my bag and hat around the glass until it was time to go. I saw the bill...it said Virgin mohito...I slurped it up quick. What a waste!
Still have not told DH!
Would it have been day one do you reckon?

www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/book-club-suggestions

Thanks onewhitepillow for the simple and effective advice. I'm going to get it tattooed on the palm of my hand.

tattoosndteadresses you really sound like you knew where my headspace was. I was so excited about being a mother and threw myself into that role at the end of a very 'fun' twenties and now I just want to find me again.
Not to be a complete stalker but did you post your experiences of similar on this thread or another?

pimpernella oh no! The drink sounded lovely, what a shame. I'm seriously excited about a sober book club. I've had a look at the list and so many jump out to me. I'm crap at organising things but how about we each post three books we're interested in and if there's a recurring one we start with that?
I'm interested in (rereading) the hand maids tale and I'd like to read life after life and the Rosie project.
As I said I'm really not an organiser so if anyone has a good organisational idea I'm happy to go with that.

Another question,

If you post on mn for fun or advice about things that aren't alcohol related do you namechange or do you 'own it' IYSWIM?

Hi folks... I'm UpYer. You might have seen me on other threads on here as I'm a bit of an emotional car-crash at the mo.
On the plus side, tomorrow is day 14 AF for me. It's been a struggle, but for now, for today, I'm sober and liking it (mostly).
Hope it's ok if I join you?

You are very welcome upper. Congratulations on 14 days. If you are anything like me...the worst bit us over!
I name changed but having said that I only post on here nowadays. It is work collegues I wouldn't want to know about my alcohol problems lest it call onto question my ability to do the job.
A young GP I once sobbed about my alcohol problem to clocked the I'D and asked if the bottle of wine on a work night affected my ability at work or if I had to drink in the morning. Was a bit surprised about the question as could easily function on only a bottle and it just showed how skewed my perception was...