Dry 14

[glad2016]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

Hi , just checking in too.
chocoholic well done you I've been feeling those 'everyone is having fun but me' feelings all week but as you said 'are they?' My db got hammered, said some derogatory things about me after I refused to be his usual pub companion then spent the next morning apologising and walking around like a bear with a sore head! It didn't look remotely appealing.

maudlin well done and thanks for sharing such a sweet story. Those are the childhood memories I want for dd, not the big gestures, just the little things that make a good day good

yellowbanana I hope you're having a good day too. Keep strong for the weekend. Just think of two beautiful August mornings you can be waking up to calmly and pleasantly rather than a possibly chaotic night before. FWIW I'm just pretending to be thinking I'll glide through it. Two days of society sanctioned midday drinking. for anyone that can ride that wave without a wobble!

Thanks to everyone who told me it was a tiny blip last night, it was!

yellow yeah I found last weekend tough but I sort of tried to drag the day and evening out was worried that dp might want to come home and drink but ended up having takeaway and Watch netflix. Was good to spend that time together sober and not getting drunk then end up falling out, was quite refreshing.

what I am really sick of with drinking, is that that it is never enough. I think that's actually what I am sick of even more than the hangovers. It isn't even fun any more because instead of feeling all "woo, nice buzz!" I'm feeling all "woo, nice - where's the next one? shall I go and buy it? how will I get away with that? but - I can't just stop drinking now! - " etc and it's all a boring world of pain instead of fun. Just stuff going round and round in your head.

God Maudlin that rings a bell with me. The only time I ever felt I had 'enough' in the house was around Christmas, when we'd go mad with boxes and boxes and boxes of wine, even though we never had big parties or lots of guests.

Choc you are playing a BLINDER. An absolute blinder. GO GO GO! x x x

Strong you are back in the saddle and back in charge. Doesn't sound like your mum was that helpful. I have read that alcoholism is a family disease, do you think that might be true for you?

Sorry for not name checking everybody - this thread is so busy all of a sudden. And thank you for everyone who said something kind to me today. I read the thread very often - it keeps me strong and motivated - and you all made me a bit teary today.

I think my new sober resolution is to give myself a little treat every day: a treat that isn't going to hurt or harm me. Today I got out all my essential oils and made a hot oil treatment for my hair. Smells lovely. Haven't done that for ages.

Hey strong good for you for getting past the blip. Sounds like seeing your db has given you an extra bit of resilience. And thanks for the thought of the 2 mornings - I will focus on that

choc think it will feel like it's dragging as well. Saturday I'm out with a friend and driving so that should be manageable - but it's tomorrow I'm more apprehensive about as I'm in on my own so need to be extra strong

And maudlin I know what you mean. I've a couple of family members who are very controlled (normal) drinkers who I've been out with a lot lately - my drinks gone by the time they've only had a few sips so I've either been hurrying them along or buying extra drinks for myself (followed by shame the next day). The whole cycle is wearing.

One thing I've started this week is a list of benefits of not drinking - and I keep going back to it and adding to it to strengthen my resolve. Top ones were no hangovers, no shame, better health and stuff but any small thing I've thought of I've written down. I've got 54 so far - wonder how many ill have before tomorrow night is out!

My dc have never seen me drunk but most certainly seen me hung over but have seen there dad.. and my dc has said oh dad's dine this drunk and dads done that drunk. It's melts my heart poor babies I can't allow this anymore can I. So I have to raise the bar. I don't want my dc saying oh we've not been out today mums had hangover.

I'm just thinking out loud it helps..sorry if seems like babbling.

Hello all, Ive just stumbled accross this thread while looking at the active threads. As the daughter of somebody that has struggled with alcohol for most of my life I wanted to just give you all a little bit of support too.
I hope you all get to be where you want to be. Good Luck to you all.
😘

Morning choc no need to apologise and it's not babbling - think out loud as much as you like it's what we're here for

And hello kids thanks for the support

Day 6 today!

Have a good day everyone

Off topic, apologies in advance:
My weight is the highest it has ever been (according to My Fitness Pal) and far too high for me to put here. I suddenly realised last night that my bosses are all away for another week and this would be the ideal time to start the Harcombe diet (which really works but is really hard for the first 5 days, for the caffeine withdrawal is killer).
I won't go on about this as this thread is not about it, if I need to talk more about it I'll go to another thread.
Just wanted to put that here as a statement of intent! The slimmest I have ever been since having children is on the Harcombe diet and once you get through the first 5 days it really doesn't kill you. And - no alcohol - so that works here.

Wish me luck!

Day 6. Will be thinking of you all as we head for that tricky Friday night. I think I need to line up something really lush to watch in bed and just take my headache off to bed nice and early.

Ooh I'm goin to Google that diet!

Keep up good work everyone.
I'm downstairs and can here the children playing. I use to still be in bed putting pillow over my head feeling rough. What a good feeling,being happy to hear the children and not wishing they was still asleep.

Brilliant choc and Jelly, well done on your dry holiday.

Day 63, and I'm not constantly thinking about not drinking. DH still dry too and still supportive.

Going to stay with my DPs for a week - they are incredibly moderate drinkers (think one small glass) so in recent years have been v sniffy about my having more than one glass of wine with dinner. Not minimising here - I'm a habitual drinker and for a number of years found it increasingly hard to have AF days.

(Waves to pillow and finnish)

Vxa your words as always are lovely

Xxxx to all

Hello everyone day 6 for me today I'm in a twighlight shift today so don't need to worry about Friday night drinks yay another day sober.

Everyone sounds like they are really doing well and we seem to have a lot in common! choc I agree with the waking up without a hangover and enjoying your kids not feeling ill and regretful.

I'm sure there are plenty of tough times ahead but I didn't realise how alive I felt without drinking. I went for a walk yesterday eve with DC and DH and we played a lovely ball game previously I would have been desperate to get home for my next glass of wine or detouring to the shop for said bottle.

Long may this last, have a lovely sober day everyone.

Totally agree Maudlin with the constant thoughts of the next one. I was forever clocking the bottle and inwardly calculating 'is it enough, do I have another bottle, should I get another bottle?'

I love the idea of a treat a day onewhite, an essential hot oil treatmade sounds decadently lovely.

I might follow your example Yellow and make out a list of benefits.

Fab going on day 6 Lily

Back from my holiday and I did it all sober! Surprisingly I found it easier than I suspected it would be. I quickly realised how skewed my perception has been when drinking. As everyone else has usually had a glass in their hand I assumed they drank at reasonably the same pace but no. Goodness everyone drinks soooo slowly. I kind of had the odd thought of I must have made a real arse of myself in the past. Talking crap, getting loud and lairy, spilling red wine all over the place. Cringe.

Enjoyed the holiday, had loads of energy every day to do stuff and up at the crack of dawn every morning. Sat most mornings by myself with a coffee and cigarette watching some amazing sunrises on the balcony, something I probably would never have been able to do if I'd been boozing the night before.

Feel a bit flat coming home and the first thing I wanted to do was get wine. I wasn't expecting that but it's almost like my thought processes went 'ah you did it, drink to celebrate?'. That was a definite period of time I could accomplish and now I have aninfinite amount of time stretching in front of me which feels bit overwhelming. Anyway I won't, concentrating on tonight, changed into my pjs early and supping on soda water and lime. Good night's sleep might help as I'm tired with pmt.

Evening doable day 6 is here !

Well done on your sober holiday tattoo that's an amazing achievement !! I get what you mean about coming home and wanting the wine. When I gave up smoking - sometimes a craving would come out of nowhere - and it was just because it was an old thing I'd done, even if I'd not done it for a while if you know what I mean (like getting off a plane after giving up for 3 years!). But don't think of it being an indefinite amount of time - one day at a time.

So far so good tonight. I've opened a juice I've been saving for tonight - grapefruit and blood orange by Schweppes - it was delish. And cooked a new recipe for tea which was also quite good.

Today's new benefit was that the calories I burn off running and in the gym will stay off rather than get cancelled out by booze.

Day 6. Early in bed as planned.
Feeling so odd on this detox diet; not bad exactly but so fuzzy and tired. I hope I'll be better by next week.

Well done on not drinking when you got back, tattoos. I hit the bottle hard when I got back, a week ago tomorrow. It was a long journey over 2 days, with about 450 miles driving, and I "deserved" it. Idiot.

Day 8 done from me. Feeling really chuffed as just back from the pub for a nice meal out. I drove so no awkward questions were asked and no wine consumed. I don't think I missed the wine at all, but when I got home my first automatic thought was ...oh good, I can have a drink now. Only a passing thought, but it was there. I would normally have had a wine then. A subconscious habit I suppose. I ignored it and gave the dog a cuddle instead. Night all, stay strong.

Dp come to stay tonight but had to come to bed. He ia going out tomorrow on stag do, his words was yeah I'm goin to get pissed! Made me feel really annoyed. He says he wants to lay off the beer and knows he drinks to much but goin out to get purposely pissed.. aibu to think what a nob?

I guess all you can do choc, is take care of yourself. If he's harming his health or spending your money, it might be worth a conversation, but I think he's probably going to do what he wants anyway - and you need to decide if you want to be in a relationship with him as he is, or not.

I know that sounds harsh - and I don't mean it that way. He can drink as much as he wants and most people do get pissed on stag nights. I think us reforming boozers just get a bit more sensitive to it than is usual, if you see what I mean?

Happy day 75 one and me!
And we'll done everyone else...whatever day it is. ..we are GREAT!

Happy day 75 to us!

Are you still thinking about drinking a lot, pimpers? I am. I hope that will wear off. I think about NOT DRINKING constantly. Maybe it will wear off and when it does, I will have headroom for all the other cool stuff I want to do.

Well done patchwork and maudlin and yellow and lily and strong and choc and tattoos and every one else I have missed.

Pretty much. I reckon me and DH talk about it every single day.
It was really hard at the start of the holiday but got better as we went on.
It isnt physical cravings as I thought it would be. It's the idea that I will never enjoy a lovely glass of wine ever ever again...never have that lift / relaxation. (funny it's both) but I guess I've had more than my fair share so that's that.
What is the worst thing for you?

And what cool stuff do you want to do?

Day to day I don't find it super hard - I do get cravings, but my feelings of shame are still so strong that it is keeping me well away. I have dreams sometimes, about drinking, and wake up feeling so sad and guilty, then the sense of relief I feel at it being just a dream is immense.

I want to take up cooking again - try cooking some new things - and also do some more reading in the evenings. I used to go to bed early with a book every night. Then I went to bed early with two bottles of wine. I miss my books!!

I think the worst thing is the second I get home from work - I used to go right to the fridge (with my coat on) and have a large glass of wine. It felt like a reward for the day, and a way of wiping work out of my mind. I still need to find a post-work treat for myself.