Dry 14

[glad2016]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

Thanks - I'd only met the woman once - I just went to support my sister. But thanks

misscookie on Christmas Day night/early hours of Boxing Day I was really pissed and I fell down the stairs halfway and really hurt my shoulder. I don't really remember much abouthe actual fall. Boxing Day night, I had a blackout having drunk to oblivion. Apparently I was talking (slurring) and my eyes were open when DH went to bed.......these were becoming a regular occurrence. Then on 27th December me and DH did 5 bottles of red between us (I'm pretty sure I did at least 3 of them) we went to bed at 5am and got up at 12 midday on 28th, once again having lost most of another day. I felt crap and my face was red and bloated permanently. It was at that point that I'd had enough and I just decided I had to stop. I decided that I was going to get up early on NYD and walk up to the top of a local landmark (I'd been up if many times but first thing on NYD felt special and was something I'd always wanted to do, but I was always too hungover or still drunk)
So I just stopped. I didn't want to wait another moment. I went to a party on NYE and had a wonderful night, totally with it instead of falling over etc, etc and so far, so good.

I want this life more than I want a drink....

That is such an inspiring story, likeahurricane

My last drink was at the start of June. It was a work party. I'd vowed in advance I wouldn't drink, because the party was important and I would be meeting various prospective colleagues / clients etc. They tend to be very boozy, but short-lived - 8-10pm sort of thing. I met a friend I don't see very often before hand, and we had a brief drink in a pub. I should have got something to eat, but nothing much appealed. All right, I thought, I'm a bit nervous about the party so I'll just have one. I had three large pub glasses (basically a bottle) and turned up at the party half-cut, during which I had another three or four large glasses, plus a couple of cocktails. I told my boss a really long and unfunny story about something one of my kids had done the day before - massively exaggerated for effect. I'm fairly sure I told her the story twice during the party, with details different each time. I also had a rant about some aspect of our work to someone I didn't know, but will almost certainly bump into again. I remember leaving the party to hit a pub with a woman I met there, but didn't really know. I remember some pubs - around the city I was in, which I didn't really know either. I remember her putting me in a taxi - me crying and saying I wanted to go home - and waking up in the hotel room, fully clothed, about twenty minutes before I needed to be at a breakfast meeting downstairs the next morning. My keycard was still in the door, my purse and stuff all there - I think the taxi driver must have helped me to my room, or gone through my bag to find the address of the hotel where I was staying. I have literally no idea how I got back. sI dressed, scraped my hair back and went to the meeting. I am pretty sure I was still pissed, and that it was obvious. Train home, vomited in the train toilet. Got home and cried and cried and cried because I knew it was going to happen, and I promised myself it wouldn't. And it did.

Haven't drunk a drop since and I have more than 70 days sober now, but still feeling like a beginner.

I've seen those work people twice since - been AF each time, and hardly anyone questioned my decision not to drink, which makes me think it was massively, massively obvious I had a problem and they were all quietly and politely relieved I decided to give it a rest.

Thats a really inspiring story likeahurricane - you must be super proud of the amount of sober days you've clocked up.
My little one asked me if I used to drink alcohol when she was a baby - I felt immensely proud she can't remember me drinking. Phew!

I feel your pain onewhite

Trust me - I have been there - I had one similar occasion, however I ended up lamping someone and being pulled off by some ex colleagues.. I'm not even a violent drunk..just happened out of the blue after a lot of booze - then hitch hiking home on some strangers BMX and falling off about 5 times - waking up black and blue.. the shame has never left me.. I still cringe when I think of it and it was about 12 years ago. Ugh!
Time to forgive ourselves I think. There is no point in living our lives in the past.

Hi all. Had a lovely day out today was busy with my dc then had a little thought...hmm would b nice to go home and have a little glass of wine...but then snapped right back at myself no no not worth it so I went into the shop and bought strawberry water. So that's what I'm on tonight. I couldn't believe myself thinking that after iv gone through the wkd with no drink. Thought I'd post it to let it off my chest.

You did the right thing, choc.

Feeling a bit blue after posting about my last drink. It was good to get it off my chest. It wasn't even my worst moment - and was by no means an isolated incident.

I am so glad I'm not in that place any longer, but I am not loving my sober life yet.

I feel stuck in a rut and I want to change my life: make better habits, be better with my kids. Where to start?

You guys are amazing. Thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow.

Such similar stories to those I did as well :( I finally stopped on 16 Dec after a session involving more than three bottles of red alone by myself after sharing a couple of bottles with OH earlier on. Woke up feeling so ashamed and ill. Was hungover for several days after. Decided yet again to stop, had done many months before and then lapsed. But this time it seems to have stuck. One day at a time though. Koko sober warriors xxx

I don't want to share my lowest moments as am too ashamed, but trust me they were very bad. Life is so much better now :) Even in the depths of PAWS I still thank the gods I wake up sober :)

Morning ladies and waves to anyone new I haven't name checked. It's great to have you. The board has so much energy at the moment

To those who have said about being concerned about telling people, social events etc etc all I would say is put yourself first and practice lots of self care for now. Whether to tell people and how much to tell is very personal. I still haven't told many at 141 days. Re socialising if you don't feel comfortable going then don't - it doesn't matter what other people think - YOU are what matters.

A couple of people have said about trying to give up smoking or sugar. I would say just focus on drinking for now. If you can tackle two at the same time then do but don't pressurise yourself. Getting and staying sober is a huge effort physically and psychologically. If you need sugar - and I needed a lot ! - then have it !! I got really fixated at not losing any weight in spite of cutting out 7-14 bottles of wine a week and going to the gym 4 times a week but now I just think it will come in time. And if it doesn't so what. I am not overweight I would just like to lose 7lbs. Main thing is I am sober and I am happy.

Sorry for long post Remember YOU are what matters. Be kind to yourself. Love to All. X

Morning everyone, another clear headed one with just a trace of the strange vice like headaches I've been getting since stopping drinking.

Lots of great posts to read. I'm enjoying the grown up drinks ideas. I believe San peligrino have brought out a new fizzy drink, lime and mint which I'm definitely not going to be able to find in the local store at my mum's!

Oh and hows this for a classic mother/daughter interaction:
Me: mum I'm not drinking because recently, I've been drinking too much and for the wrong reasons.
Mum: oh yes id noticed you'd gained some weight. This should help it come off (no mention of what I'd just told her)

I'm laughing about it now

I think I'd echo what VXA says about cutting one thing at a time - especially with sugar!

My sugar cravings are fading now anyway - but I really needed that to help me get through the first few months...

Day 94 for me, I think I'm going out for a nice meal with my partner to celebrate getting through the first 100 days....

one - I think that you are not so behind me, I know I had a really big down dip about the time when you were - the excitement of not drinking was starting to wear off, and I was very very sad indeed. It did fade, but it was a very tricky 2 weeks of feeling awful... (esp with wine witch whispering 'if being sober makes you feel this bad, maybe it's better for everyone if you just start drinking again')

I know it doesn't feel it now - but you are getting out of the rut - but you need to take it one step at a time - concentrate on stopping the alcohol for now, and the rest of your life will follow... I'm starting to see that my life has more space in it now, and I need to find things I want to fill it with...

Those thoughts come unbidden sometimes before you even realise choc. Force of habit I suppose.

God yes, so many drunk stories myself but prefer not to dwell on them at the moment anyway. Too early days for me. Damn lucky I didn't end up in worse situations, waking up in strange places with strangers.

We have all done things we aren't proud of whilst in the grips of addiction. One of the worst things about alcohol is it erodes your self respect but we have to forgive ourselves, often one of the hardest things to do. Personally if I dwell to much on past experiences it leads to feelings of shame and regret and the first thing I think of when I'm in that mood is to pick up a drink. We have a brighter alcohol free future in front of us

Morning everyone. That's great advice vxa2 I'm planning the whole 'got an early start in the morning' statement for not drinking until I feel a bit stronger.

Good on you strong I was wondering how you were getting on. Classic statement - if only weight was the only problem caused by drinking

Day 4 today - bring it on

Thanks vxa it was me that said about smoking. I'm pretty much in that frame of mind. Concentrating on staying sober at the moment, I'll deal with the smoking once I get home and the dc start school so I've a couple of hours to hit the gym.

thank you finnish - it is so good to know what to expect. I think part of me was thinking that the shame should have evaporated and my life should be GREAT by now.

I cannot lie - it is a TON better and a lot of the problems caused by drink are gone. It is amazing. BUT drink was covering up a lot of problems too, and those are staring me in the face.

Thanks for all the support on here. This thread has been an absolute life saver.

One - I feel that too. I feel so proud of myself for being sober - for being so strong - for doing this brilliant thing for me and my family. But life isn't as good as I had hoped. Life feels so flat...nothing to look forward to, something to be endured. I am still depressed. I am still anxious (though I suspect I am just not noticing the slow improvement and wanting instant happy happy happy - at least I don't want not to be here as often as I did when drinking heavily) It must be improved though since I really never want to drink again. I couldn't bear to go back to that way of living. I remain hopeful that there is a better time somewhere ahead and recognise that it is going to take some travelling to get there.
Onepillow ...72 days? You are amazing - what an achievement. One day the shame will be so distant it won't hurt anymore. Let's just keep plodding away from it and bit by bit it must fade!

Hello all, and well done ! I like the "play it forward" idea, seems a good plan. This morning I mentioned to my family that I had stopped drinking and that they hadn't noticed. Both DH and DS piped up "you mean you've run out of wine ?" Huh... I'll show them ! Feeling better in the mornings and no guilt now ! Tomorrow will be my first week done and dusted and I think I'll treat myself to something....probably chocolate ! Feeling good AND the sun is shining too ! Stay strong.

Good afternoon everyone.

Day 3 for me!

Felt very grumpy last night, found it hard not drinking.

I have so much shame from when I've been pissed. I hope it eases over time!

Its a sunny, sober day so lets all try and feel positive about how well we are doing? I know its hard, and sometimes people lapse, but we learn from our mistakes and pick ourselves up and try again.

Hello. Great to see so many numbers clocking up here. Really positive and encouraging. I'm another who's finding it better to look forward and focus on the future.

Absolutely agree with Finnish and vxa about tackling one thing at a time- I know I wouldn't have coped with pushing hard for healthy eating and going af at the same time. Treats are part of not feeling deprived. Because that can be a trigger - and going af is a big lifestyle change although it's a good one.

Really wanted to pop in and share that I had a routine health check and not only was the nurse pleased with the weight loss but also my blood pressure - which was being monitored in case of needing medication- is back to a normal range. That's after about 7 months af and it's such a boost. So maybe change isn't visible but it's still happening.

and to all. Koko 😀

Hi everyone day 4 for me today! Feeling a bit bluhh. Don't know what I expected but it's a lovely day, this is my danger zone prepping dinner no work until Friday so I'm sitting in the sun with a becks blue. Hope everyone else is having a lovely sober day too.

On the note of embarrassment when drunk I have so many shameful stories and one or two that really make me cringe but, I'm doing my best not to think about them, that's not me anymore. Just done my online shop loads of chocolate, some new teas and other soft drinks quite excited. Dreading the weekend a bit but like someone else said a day at a time.

Oh my parents are back from holiday on Sunday and don't know about me trying to quit and, I know they will have got me some of my fave wine, not sure how to handle that. Honestly I am a bit worried about accepting it, we should have been on this holiday but my husbands health has been poor which has lead to lots of cancelled plans for the last year and this is what normally tips me back into drinking. I guess it's one day at a time.

One day at a time - and if that seems too much - one hour at a time. I read somewhere (or may have been on here) that each craving lasts 10 mins. So if I get really bad this weekend I'm planning a 10 minute distraction (shower / bath / dog walk) until it passes.

I was given a bottle of wine by one of my team today in work. I accepted it with the biggest smile and have now put it firmly out of sight at the back of the wardrobe! Back to the lime and soda...

Oh and I'm not even letting the past stories of shame into my brain this week - I have got plenty! The thoughts of them will send me straight for a beer so they are being blocked as best I can

Hi,

Sorry haven't had chance to catch up with the thread yet but just wanted to pop on to say that I got back from holiday yesterday and survived it sober!! I'm really pleased and amazed, and the best bit was it wasn't even that hard. Came up against some (really quite aggressive) opposition to it from the people we were holidaying with - really quite surprised at some of the comments I received, ranging from "Don't you know you're on holiday you boring cow", to my DH being told to sort me out i.e. persuade me to join in with the drinking, and other not very pleasant remarks. What is it with drinkers not liking it when someone doesn't join in?

Anyway, once that all died down (which it did surprisingly quickly really) I soon got into the swing of just substituting my evening drink with a soft option, and still enjoyed the evening chitchat and meals out etc with the added bonus of not having to worry about saying something embarrassing or inappropriate, and woke up feeling smugly refreshed every morning.

I've also returned without the usual post-holiday bloat and when I weighed myself this morning I haven't gained a single lb, which I'm very pleased about. Usually I'd gain at least 4-5lbs, and I have enjoyed eating whatever I fancied whilst away.

I'll go back and catch up with the rest of the thread now.