Dry 14

[glad2016]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

Apparently Hoegaarden do a 0.0% Beer which is supposed to be very good.

I think I need to beat this by "coming out". With work people and acquaintances, they don't question it if I don't drink. With family they expect me to drink and I wonder if I need to... do something about this. I don't really have the guts. Maybe I need a meeting.

Hi Lily, day 2 buddy :)
Glad to hear that you are feeling positive.

Thanks misscookie, will try that

Welcome to the thread patchwork and Blurton

Some people do tell family Maudlin and some don't. Are you the sort of person who would get stressed being put under pressure with family knowing (me) and would rather do it independently or like having that extra support if you know they would react like that. There's no putting that genie back in the bottle once it's out which may or may not be a good thing.

I'm a single parent myself and it's great you have such a positive attitude about it and committing to changing yourself now. Funny how we reach for the bottle when stressed or tired when in actual fact drinking and subsequent withdrawal makes us more stressed and tired. Taken me ages to see that but it's very clear now.

For those who want to drink AF drinks I can recommend Ambar beer ( better than Becks!), also various wines from the Alcohol Free shop

Good morning all, new and old

I must get an order in for there once I get home glad as you recommended some of the wines too.

Sitting on the balcony enjoying the morning by myself with my coffee. You can't beat waking up fresh with no fuzziness, anxiety or trying to piece together the night before, wondering I hope I didn't offend someone last night/ make an eijet of myself.

Day 10 . Ok I know it's not much on the grand scheme of things and I've done far more before but this time something has really changed. This time I can really see that alcohol adds nothing to my life at all. Was reading some stuff last night about the effect on dopamine on the brain and alcohol, quite fascinating.

So many excuses I gave myself to drink; loneliness, anxious, stressed, tired, having 'fun' etc etc and it never solved the problem, usually made it worse. There's much healthier ways to deal with those. I'm feeling pretty content and at peace with sobriety. Not to say I'm not getting the odd cravings but I'm recognising them for what they are. An addiction trying to get me back into it's clutches and there's no way in hell I'm taking that path any more. I refuse to end up like my relatives dying on a liver ward or brain so mangled through strokes. I deserve more and my dc deserve more. Next stop nicotine

Have a good day everyone. KOKO

Thanks for the welcome.

Well I managed yesterday well. We took the baby out for the park and had a picnic for tea. DP bought two bottles of beer for while we were there and asked if I wanted any and I said no. I bought a big bottle of tasty fruit juice and enjoyed that. I probably drank too much fruit juice though - my belly did not feel great afterwards will have to try some of the non alcoholic stuff.

I'm still feeling physically and mentally a bit shit as a result of my terrible bender on the weekend. I feel like I properly poisoned my self and put myself in a really really stupid and dangerous situation. I know I should feel better soon and the anxiety and will fade as well. Trying to comfort myself with 'yes I have been a dick but now I am trying to make sure I'm not too much of a dick again!'

I've mentioned to DP that I want to stop but I don't think he's taken it in because it's something I've said a few times previously and then started again after a few days. I need to have a proper chat with him.

I've got a big family wedding this weekend and I'm actually relieved to be not drinking because I was getting a bit worried at how I was going to stay in a normal state while drinking for so long! I also feel a bit sad because my Mum had said she would babysit so me and DP could both let our hair down. I will miss drinking with him, since we've had our daughter we've never really drank together and we did used to have a lot of fun. I just keep thinking that was a different time thought and we don't do that now.

Sorry that was long!

Well done tattoo on reaching day 10! That is brilliant !! And is my first goal (day 3 so far). Your morning on the balcony sounds idyllic. I am preparing for a lime and soda in the garden after work have a good day

Hi all
Will try one more time to post then give up!
I can read your posts but mine don't stick!
The holiday not drinking is now easier half way through. I'm so glad we managed it - I feel that this has boosted my resolve.
I ve been looking around at all the other drinkers...they just don't drink much. They drink so slowly! Makes me realise just how bad it was...how extreme. If we 'd been drinking there would have been a couple of sunny refreshing beers at lunchtime and in the evening a couple of bottles of wine between us ( at least) and all around us most other people would be having just a couple of drinks...all night...how shameful.
As it is we can jump in our little hire car and drive round the island ANYTIME we want and the days seem long and free. We are more present for our children. It is more boring, there are not so many giggles, there is a certain lack of intimacy with DH - the relaxing effect of alcohol is good at sofening my invisible barriers...but those are the things you get with the first couple of drinks....and I can't do just two drinks...so!

tattoosAndteadresses that's brilliant, you sound so strong and full of resolve.

Nice one blurton enjoy the wedding and the stress and hangover free morning after.

pimpernell I found that lack of intimacy EXACTLY the same a couple of weeks ago - I think I posted about it on here. I was worried about it.

I've taken to going and sitting with DH in the evenings while he's doing his thing - I used to drink alone in one room, he used to read or go on the computer in another. I think he's just used to be being pissed and unavailable in the evenings, so all I am doing is sharing a room with him now and slowly he is seeing things have changed.

I am resolute thanks Strong although very cautious as I am fully aware of my ability to push that big red fuck-it button. It's caught me out before.

Well done for not drinking at the picnic Blurton and I hope you enjoy the wedding.

Glad your having a good holiday Pimpernella. Totally agree with how everyone else seems to drink so slowly and can stop at a couple. It's one thing I noticed last year when I stopped, I was never aware of it before. That is not me at all. One drink, actually one sip gives me the green light to drink quick and drink many.

Morning all sounds like everyone is doing well and seeing the positive effects. I am only day 3 but feel positive, think I will try the ambar beer suggested as it's nice to have something I see as a treat.

I have not told anyone but my DH as its like admitting I'm an alcoholic to my family and not sure I'm ready yet, my parents are away at the moment, and I know they will be bringing me the litre bottles of my fave wine back so not sure how to handle that!

blurton I know what you mean about having fun drinking with your DH I felt the same but, it's like someone upthread suggested play the tape forward. When I do this on the evenings me and DH drink (he does not drink much) I'm not really me when I can see how I behave and talk incessantly it's not fun. Much nicer to remember what we talked about and actually being with him.

For me I can't stand the anxiety and depression I honestly thought the wine helped I now see it's causing it, this is explained really well in the Jason Vale book.

KOKO.

Well done everyone, it's hard isn't it. It's hard when others don't see you have an issue and keep offering booze, however well meaning they are. I have just done the food shop but found it odd that the supermarket had the non alcoholic drinks in the same aisle as all the alcoholic ones. So there I was wondering what wouldn't be too sweet while my favourite wine was shouting "special offer, reduced !" Aargh . I opted for some ginger beer and a bottle of sparkling elderflower presse. I only drink water or tea during the day, it's the danger zone of cooking supper that gets me. We live in the country and have to drive everywhere, so once I know I'm home and don't need to go out again I feel I can have a drink. So I have shaken up the routine a bit. On Friday we had an earlier tea and then went out (in the car) for a favourite dog walk til it was dark. Yesterday I went swimming in the evening...can't remember the last time I went. We have been invited out for a meal in the pub on Friday so I think I'll drive and say no more. I haven't told anyone yet, I feel I need to be strong in my resolve before making "the announcement". Keep it up everyone.

I haven't really told anyone either - one close friend, who already knew I was having major problems and is very happy for me, and my DH, who is very proud.

Everyone else, I just make vague excuses or be the designated driver. It is usually work stuff anyway, so not close friends who deserve or need an explanation.

I think it will be harder at special events - birthdays, christmas etc - but then again it kind of pisses me off that I need to explain or have an 'excuse' not to drink - why can't, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO just be enough?

Alcohol is so insidious in our society and culture isn't it whitepillow, you're a weirdo for not taking an addictive drug? Can't see anyone pressurising you to take cocaine on a regular basis

It is crazy when you think about it like that which is what makes it so much more difficult. Alcohol is everywhere! Are you all familiar with the comedian Micky Flannagan he does a really good sketch about alcohol, it's something about a Pinot noir being so sophisticated at 7 o'clock then it all goes down hill, he says it's only 10.5% what harm can it do? Which always makes me laugh.

It's just another way that alcohol is seen as fun and elegant unlike drugs where people look down at these addicts.

I just dread the questions about why are you not drinking? Are you I'll? Are you pregnant? What can't I just don't want it be a good enough reply.
If you offered someone a coffee and they said no would you keep trying yo persuade them? I have poor will power regards wine and this is gone situation I'm dreading. I know if I have one it will be game over.

Sorry about the continual typos that makes for really hard reading flipping autocorrect!

I can really recommend Belvoir Cordials mixed with sparkling water in a nice glass, for a grown up drink. I only ever drank wine so whilst the AF beers are OK, they don't really cut it with a committed ex - wino
Most of the decent supermarkets have a range of them in the cordial/juice aisle. I've got Elderflower, Raspberry Lemon and Blueberry with Blackcurrant. They are all natural, with no nasties and low carb/low sugar if you go for the cordials and not the presse version.

I'm also going to give the Fever Tree tonics a try when I get round to finding them in the shop.... they are supposed to be nice and feel special....

I also drink loads of water, I always did. Also tea and the occasional milky coffee because I am Rock and Roll.....
Welcome to all the new posters.
congrats Glad on your sober trip, awesome work!

Sorry I don't post often, I'm not really one for posting unless I feel I have good advice to give but I do read the thread everyday.
Dry since 28th December 2015 and two sober holidays under my belt and the small matter of early retirement in 5 weeks time.....eeek!!
Thank goodness I quit when I did....can you imagine my future if I hadn't???
Playing the tape forward is great advice and I also wholeheartedly recommend Andrew Johnson's Quit Drinking App. I think that is what worked for me to be honest, especially considering my DH still drinks a bottle of Red at home every Friday and Saturday and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.........apart from worrying about his health of course! (and yes we are sat in the same room, I'm just not arsed, it's a miracle!!)

Absolute my sober twin....are you there? Hope you're good

hurricane any reason you gave up just 2 days before NYE? NYE was the last time I had a drink and I gave up NY days - me and thousands of others who were doing dry January. I actually wanted to give up before Xmas but was too weak willed.

I went to an alcoholics funeral today. Usually at funerals you see the true measure of the person as all of their friends attend. In this case it was mainly the pub regulars who came (old long terms alcoholics). Very sad. The room was full of lost empty souls with liver disease and wet brain, many unable to string a proper sentence together. So glad I've stopped!

misscookie that is so sad. Certainly makes you think.

End of day 3 for me - replaced a peroni and lime for a lime and soda which was very refreshing in the evening sun and won't lead to another and another. Hope everyone has had a good AF day

Hi, day 3 here.
Sorry to hear about the funeral, misscookie. I hope you are ok.

Hello Yellow, day 3 buddy! I'm on the fizzy water.

Yes alcohol being everywhere is a real Thing. I have a meet up planned with some people who will definitely be drinking and I really want to go, because I feel like separating from exP is a great time to get out and make new friends. But I don't know if I can be arsed with other people drinking and feeling out of place. Maybe I need to find other groups of new friends.

had a great coffee with this morning with an old colleague. He's talking about change for his own reasons.... it's nice to know people who you can kind of talk things over with, even if we're not bosom buddies. Just kind of having sincerity without intimacy is soothing

Hey Maudlin good to hear your on the fizzy water! One day at a time. Know what you mean about the meet ups. Thing is - if you go and don't drink and the drinkers start doing your head in you can always slink off when you want. (Always much harder to slink after a drink I find!). At least you'll have gone and tried it ? Other groups of friends will be good though - no one ever says they have too many friends ! And it sounds like your coffee buddy gave you good support this morning.

My weekends are massive danger zones - particularly Friday night at 7pm. I could set my watch by it. Have purposely planned sober activities for sat and sun that I need to drive too and lunch with my heavily pregnant none drinking friend