Wah! Lots of posts so no hope of name checking everyone. Welcome all! Strong when I started haunting this thread I did not believe that it was possible to rack up the kind of days sober totals that others have and that I now have..but I have.
Good recommendations from others - look at various sources and see which ones speak to you, which ones you feel comfortable posting in. I check in here most days, don't always post, always get a supportive response if I ask for one.
No judgement.
That's so important, because for anyone trying to deal with dependency they're already judging themselves, probably more harshly than any of their critics.
One day at a time, one hour at a time, ten minutes at a time is how I play it.
I now understand that I'm what they call a habitual drinker - never went on benders, never throw up, don't blackout. A bit hungover most mornings but rarely crippled by one. Tolerance creeping up so can put away a bottle of wine no bother. Often drank alone. Perpetually ashamed that I was unable to self-regulate, have a night off.
I still don't know if I can reset my relationship with alcohol, I suspect not. Playing it forward is a big help, the kind of planning that others have suggested to me ("I'll arrive, have a fizzy water, ask them to take the wine glasses away when we sit down")
Oh and 