I'm starting to hate men

[Mamaka]

I've noticed recently that I've become more and more anti men - I think since having my first child. So many factors that I could mention and probably many deep rooted issues contributing to this but the long and short of it is why do women have to suffer and sacrifice at every turn?!

I don't really want to feel like this. I have a son who I want to bring up/am bringing up to be a feminist but I'm worried about how my hateful feelings towards men are going to rub off on my dc.

I suppose I am asking if there is a way I can combat these feelings and start to feel more positively towards them.

The issue is not that all men are awful. They aren't, obviously. Just like not all men are nice.

The issue is that all men benefit from misogyny and sexism. At the expense of women.

Women SHOULD be angry about that. Things don't change unless someone actually gives a shit.

Telling women they shouldn't be angry about sexism because not all men are nasty is reeeeaaaally poor logic.

You're telling me to be angry at every single man I know? Why should I be angry at someone for something they haven't done?

I'm looking at a male colleague right now. Should I tap him on the shoulder and ask him to stop oppressing me? Or shall I just trip him up to balance the books? What do I do to get back at him?

By the way, he's gay. Is he still counted as one of our overlords?

I've said nothing about men...but think what you like I really don't care what one person from the Internet thinks about me.

If only men got as incensed as dilberry about misogyny.

Yeah, no man ever cared about women's rights.

Hi I'm earth have we met?

I'm gonna have to cut this conversation short, I'm too busy plotting revenge on men.

It's funny how you only preach moderation when you're challenged.

Dilberry your arguments are quite ridiculous. Of course your colleague benefits. He's a man. It has nothing to do with sexuality...

Ar the risk if this being considered a personal attack and being deleted, I genuinely cannot work out if you are being deliberate provocative or whether you are just too thick to comprehend it.

Come on. It is perfectly obvious from the content of my previous posts that I am not a person without intelligence. Do you really find it so challenging to accept that other people disagree with you?

Perhaps it is more soothing for you to believe that others who do not see the world the same way as you are simply unenlightened souls struggling in the blindness of their existence.

But I don't care what you tell yourself to justify it. You are wrong to make statements or support statements that convey a universal hatred. All the anecdotes in the world about how you once saw some guy who did something that was well bad will not change that.

Well, to be fair, you haven't disagreedwith anything II've said.

And I will invite you to quote any part of anything I've said that conveys universal hatred towards all men.

I have no issue with people challenging my position.

My position on this, as is a lot of others on this thread, nothing to do with hating men.

Apart from that was the title of the thread?

Do you agree or disagree with the OP's very clear statement?

You're being disingenuous Dilberry Pancake.

No, I'm not.

Apart from that was the title of the thread?

Do you agree or disagree with the OP's very clear statement?

I invited you to quote something I had said that conveyed a universal hatred towards all men.

The title of the thread wasn't something I said. I didn't start the thread and more than that, have consistently stated that I do not hate men and it has been qualified (by other posters) with the OP that it is not men she is starting to hate, but rather the patriarchy and misogyny she is beginning to see in evidence. That's not the same thing. Many women have also internalised misogynistic narratives. They are not men.

Try again.

What did you say? Posting on a thread about hating men saying you understood the OP. Obviously.

But I'm pleased to hear your clarification. Language is important. There's a big difference between, say, the statement 'I don't like some aspects of Egyptian culture' and 'I hate Egyptian people'.

Well my position was clear from the start.

It's you that have peddled the 'hate all men' line throughout. No one else.

But as I think you're being deliberately goady, I'm out.

Errr, I didn't name the thread!

Bye dilberry

Hi Dilberry, just to let you know that some of us appreciate your efforts to bring some love and humanity into this heartbreaking thread.

Dilberry

Even the title of the OP is not "I hate men" but "I'm starting to hate men". The post itself then goes on to ask for help with those feelings and, in the ensuing discussion, the OP has thanked posters who have talked about reacting to and hating patriarchal structures.

No one has talked about tapping colleagues on the shoulder. Except you.

Not sure how I can be accused of hating men when I've outlined, and am very concerned by, the negative impact misogyny and the patriarchy has on men as well as women. And the most misogynistic person I've met personally was my mother.

It is the very fact that women are considered inferior that means that whenever men display behaviours/interests/characteristics that are considered 'womanlike' they are mocked and ridiculed whereas women are praised for displaying 'more desirable' masculine qualities.

If qualities and traits were considered neutral rather than gendered, then I wouldn't have to make sure that the boy making a daisy chain and choreographing dance routines wasn't being called names by his male peers, whilst the girl who is playing football is considered 'one of the boys' and held in respect.

It really is very subtle. Most people accept it so unquestioningly (and I have to check myself to make sure I'm not saying stuff on occasion because we all do it), there aren't many people doing it 'deliberately', it's just part of the narratives of our society.

We've got the TV on this morning. Third Rock From the Sun is on. The family have just arrived to Earth. The aliens look like 3 men and 1 woman. The woman cries indignantly, "Hey, how come I'm the woman?". One of the men replies, "Because you lost.".

I do realise that by having TV on in the morning and admitting to having Third Rock From the Sun on, I've just invalidated any credibility I might have had as a thinking person

I don't normally do either, the kids put the TV on and that's what it happened to be. Today is a special day

It did make me feel better about our morning routine!