I'm starting to hate men

[Mamaka]

I've noticed recently that I've become more and more anti men - I think since having my first child. So many factors that I could mention and probably many deep rooted issues contributing to this but the long and short of it is why do women have to suffer and sacrifice at every turn?!

I don't really want to feel like this. I have a son who I want to bring up/am bringing up to be a feminist but I'm worried about how my hateful feelings towards men are going to rub off on my dc.

I suppose I am asking if there is a way I can combat these feelings and start to feel more positively towards them.

'It is not denying their reality to question whether it is representive of society in general.'

This really summarises things for me.

Voyage - the equivalent was what I said - a white person going onto a forum for black people , because white people in our society are privileged and black people are in the minority .

Your analogy doesn't work because it's the wrong way round in terms of power .

It's like my going into a black forum , where they say they hate racism and then butting in to tell them they are bigots .

What's that - I understood your point to be that sexism , mysogeny and patriarchy didn't exist because you hadn't seen it in your office . While at the same time saying it was a male dominated industry . Seemed a bit of a contradiction to me

And if a black person went on a forum and saw a title 'I'm starting to hate black people' you don't think they might want to take part in the conversation ?

I think the point is literally opposite to this. It's a white person going on to bamenet.com and seeing a thread title "I'm starting to hate white people", that starts by talking about things like blacklivesmatter. They should listen / read and try to understand for a long time before they want to take part in the conversation.

I haven't completely thought this through, a post I read a couple of days ago got me thinking.

I grew up somewhere where I was part of the "privileged" section of a divided society. The discrimination has been recognised (in part), and some measures taken to address it, Eg positive discrimination employment laws. I would never have reacted as posters here have if a similar discussion was had but replaced with those groups. It was our place to listen, to challenge our reactions.

And even years on in that process, I am aware of the pain for those who grew up feeling like second class citizens. I completely understand those who cannot trust.

(And as a by the by, women played a massive role at a grass roots level to bring about change and bring communities together.)

I'm not a second class fucking citizen.

I don't have the right to indulge myself in hate filled diatribes against half of humanity because I have a vagina.

Ok, dunno how relevant it was anyway. Didn't mean to make you angry. That'll teach me for over thinking in the middle of night.

Two women a week killed by men in the UK. We're not meant to feel scared? Not meant to notice? Not meant to worry? Are we meant to wait until it gets to 3 or 4 a week?

As someone who has watched the very fierce rise in open racism all over social media in the last 2 months, it feels as if we are somehow missing the real issues, time and time again.

Well done for trying to derail the thread with the Not All Men argument - would you like to try to defend the men who commit these crimes too? Or is Not All Men enough of an argument for men to be protected but Not All Minorities not enough to stop racism?

I was tentatively trying to engage in a discussion that others have clearly thought longer and harder about.

Never mind.

JeffreyNeedsaHobby

You've won me over with your well-reasoned point. I now plan to hate and fear men throughout most of Britain, until I cross the border between Devon and Cornwall when I will start to hate and fear women.

metro.co.uk/2016/01/25/there-are-parts-of-britain-where-more-men-are-killed-by-women-in-domestic-violence-5643040/

With regard to the black people/ women equivalence frequently being used here perhaps one of the oppressed women on here could, as an experiment, go on to BAMEnet and tell the people there that their own white, wealthy, middle-class existences are as worthy of sympathy.

Then come back here and tell us how you get on.

Oh for goodness sake would everyone just calm the fuck down. The OP isn't about to go off and top a bunch of men and she's not full of "hate-filled diatribes". Let's reexamine what she said shall we?:

"I've noticed recently that I've become more and more anti men .....

......I don't really want to feel like this......

I suppose I am asking if there is a way I can ... feel more positively towards them."

Hardly a reverse Elliot Rodgers!

Look we all have our own prejudices, some based on personal experience, some passed on through our cultures, some more rational than others. The point is to recognise them, work through them and come to a point where we treat all people with equal respect.

Women kill children. Should all children be scared of women?

"All men are equal but some are more equal than others."

"All men are equal but some are more equal than others."

I don't think George Orwell meant that to be an aspirational quote.

The point some of us are making is the frequency of men killing women, the frequency of misogynistic behaviour in our society does scare women. Why do the posters who think we should not see the facts as worrying feel so strongly? If you can't argue with facts and want to go on about the OP's wording and willfully ignore evidence then what is the point in continuing to post?

Many people in this country are being openly racist since the start of the Brexit campaign (partly due to the lies and posters of Farage inciting mass hatred); comments sections filling up with vile opinions expressed openly under their actual names. Hardly anyone seems to be concerned about that, yet heaven forbid a group of mums get together on an anonymous internet forum and say that men scare them due to actual facts! Just as much as you say you won't let opinions lie when they need to be examined, perhaps you could imagine yourself on the other side of the fence. OP has said she is "scared" that these thoughts might rub of on her children. None of us LIKE living in fear of half of the population. We are offering support and sharing how we all DO deal with it.

Sorry, OP is "worried" not scared.

It's not people saying they are scared. It's them thinking that fear entitles them to say the most hideously discriminatory things. I briefly looked through the other thread that the OP started on the feminism board. I had to stop reading because it was so disgusting.

If I find it offensive, I dread to think how I would feel if I were a man.

Yes, a man. Who actually deserves respect and kind treatment. Like all human beings. This is our friends, our sons, our fathers, and our brothers.

In your own post you just admitted people on this thread are scared - they have fear.

At no point during this entire thread have I denied the validity of anyone's prior experience. What I am saying is that it does not then justify blanket attacks on the character of billions of human beings.

I've been attacked by men. I don't have the right to hate anyone except those men, if I choose to.

I've been attacked by women too. Probably an equal amount of times, although this is not about my personal anecdotal evidence. But I cannot extrapolate any conclusions about you from my dealings with them.

We are scared and rightly so as legal systems let women and children down time and again when we try to deal with abuse from men. Perhaps if our systems were better at weeding out the bad eggs we could save a few more atrocities happening and there would be less need for fear. A change in the system is needed. www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mass-killers-domestic-violence_us_578d06ade4b0fa896c3f6837?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000046

"I don't have the right to hate anyone except those men, if I choose to"

You have the right to hate whoever you want. People with blonde hair, or who are taller than 6ft, or whatever.

You don't have the right to discriminate against those people with your behaviour, but who on here is recommending that?

So I can start a thread to say that I hate tall people and none of them can challenge me on it?

If you can bring in relevant facts and figures that show why, I think it might make for an interesting thread!