OK, so *is* anyone else on here poly/kink-aware?

[madamez]

Or should I just slink off back to Wierdo-net?

Unfortunately don't have MSN on computer but may well get it or something similar when I get new computer.
And, OK, I admit it - I was also the one who started the "alternative" thread as well. No, I'm not interested in listing any of my exploits or preferences on here, have other websites for that as it is... it's more a matter of (I have found over the years) having a slightly different way of looking at the world than a lot of people. Becoming a parent can lead to losing touch with childfree mates or at least seeing less of them, and if you do have a different viewpoint on a lot of things then it's harder to make new friends at toddler groups, etc.

Some people, after all, do seem to feel terribly threatened by the idea of anyone being "different" in any way, so they rush to dismiss anyone who even mentions it as boring or a show off. WHat on earth is so distressing about trying to find people with whom you have something other than the fact of parenthood in common?

It really does pee me off when people suggest that sex is a taboo subject.

Get over yourselves!

It's a website for parents, not the kind of thing you children are going to glance upon by mistake.

Why should people with "different" views on sex (and I use the "" because if people were honest there probably wouldn't be much difference) have to be scooted off elsewhere.

There are plenty of topics on mumsnet that get on my nerves. So I ignore them. Doesn't affect my overall thoughts of the site.

So if people are able to do what they do, then I darn well think that we can discuss sex here too, be it bog standard missionary or being tied up with our husbands ties.

I'm more Balamory than Polyamory...

Expat -what's "pegging"

?

I dont even have the energy to be "vanilla" but am fascinated that anyone is offended by this (dont read it then d'oh)

Similar conversations can often be seen on handbag.com, I may be a "parent" but when I cease to find this interesting I will be "dead" (hopefully)

Message withdrawn

ok Cod which is it - the spelling or the tying? I've been meaning toask for a while

err typing

I think its the fact you feel such a strong need to discuss your sex lives at all, I've always thought if you're talking about it you're not doing it

Hi Cam long time no hear

Hi zookeeper how are you

I've always hated the term 'vanilla' because it's generally said with a smirk as in 'we're having great dirty sex and you're not, so you're boring and we're not'. a good rich creamy vanilla is fabulous. as is a good mint choc chip or raspberry ripple or whatever... I'v eabsolutely NO problem with other people discussing the ins and outs (...) of their sex lives, as long as I'm not forced to tell you all what i get up to - but then no-one has suggested it's mandatory to share

i don't like the suggestion (not necessarily in this thread) that you stop being a sexual being when you become a mother. you just choose your moments more wisely.

oh you know Cam sticking my head up over the parapet now and again when I dare and then ducking

Jura - surely those derivatives are 'plain vanilla' not just 'vanilla'

See, the thing is, that, in order for folk who are "poly/kink aware" to find other "poly/kink aware" folk around them, they have to allude to stuff sometimes.

Mentioning the word "vanilla" in a certain context is kinda like a codeword I think. How else would you find like-minded people without resorting to being blatant? Especially if you are polyamory?

I dont think I've explained that very well, but it doesnt bother me, people discussing their proclivities, as long as its not insulting my proclivities at the same time. (Which, FWIW, the alt mums thread peeved me about somewhat, because of the aforementioned poster who deduced that "normal" mums must have a boring sex life because they dont have/like tattoos etc).

I only have vanilla sex with women.

Well I've no chance - I thought this thread was about storeage containers!

Ho HUm!

Back to plain vanilladom

Are they boring condoms Soapy?

I only have Vanilla with sexy women

Oh no VVV - a very early change of life means that contraception is a thing of the past - and very liberating that is too

nooo? Really?

KY Jelly all the way then

I heard a joke about KY jelly yesterday.

Man goes into a chemist and asks for some KY Jelly. Shop Assistant says "I'm afraid we havent got any. Have you tried Boots?"

Man says "I want to slide in, not march in, FFS!"

there you go again
"threatened"
"distressed"

why do you have to come at things from this assumed postion of totemic power? As though you are having the degree of effect on people which will alter their emotional states and cause them to be threatened. You are the ones who should get over yourselves. TMaybe better social skills would serve you better at your Mother and Toddler groups?

I don't wade in to threads or moan about life situations on the grounds that I make people feel distressed or threatened because my lifestyle, and that of many other MNers, considered alternative in some quarters and discriminated against at secular and religiouslevel in others. However, on a public forum the focus of which is a different, galvanising issue I wouldn't have the arrogance to imagine I would cause distress or pose a threat.
Actually my "alternative" lifestyle choice does have a topic on MN all to itself so, yes, I can certainly understand and empathise with your discomfort that there is not a pigeonhole for you too, and I don't think it unreasonable that one should be created for you at all. Just enough with this "we threaten you" attitude.

I'm sure you are genuinely very cool and kind and fun and a good laugh and we would hit it off in RL and I defend absolutely your right to live your private life in any way you choose that is above the law and respectful to others and as a member of MN I offer sympathy that any parent has been made to feel unwelcome or uncomfortable but the entire premise that anyone else needs to be aware comes across as arrogance and that's what annoys a lot of MNers.

No! Thankfully, a couple of years on, the acute menopausal symptoms have well and truely receded!

On another related topic - is all this sexual stereotyping helpful to anyone?

What is the value in comparing notes, seeking out those with similar tastes? Do people do this to try and validate their sexual behaviours or are there other reasons for sharing your sexual behaviours with the whole of the WWW?

Its all part and parcel of their proclivities soapy

I jest....

BUT, I sincerely dread the effect all this has on the feminist movement

Blimey.I know I am pished but are we talking ice cream or pervy sex? MN is so educational