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Original poster

DP didn't show up.

150 replies

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 10/07/2016 20:39

I like to keep these things short and to the point.

Had planned to spend a very very rare weekend alone with DP. Been over a year since we last had the chance to and this week I really really need it after a relative has been diagnosed with cancer. Need a good shoulder and all that. :(

WE don't live together but have been together for 2 years.

This has been planned for a good 4-5 mths. DC has SEN so we have to plan things like this.

Wasted all of Friday - he was meant to take the day of work and didn't tell me he couldn't until friday :( and would be here friday at 10pm. Fine but I woke up sat AM and he wasn't here. He has a key.

Wasted all of Saturday morning waiting thinking he would get an early AM start instead. He lives in another city and it takes 3 hours to get here. This has happened before because of weather/working late because of a deadline etc.

Got a message at lunchtime saying he was ill and 'will be down later on'. Got to 4pm and he still wasn't here so I had to call and cancel the surprise meal I'd planned. Fucking embarrassing to say your OH wasn't in town :(

I've been left alone, had to cancel the restaurant I had planned for sat eve - embarrassing to say your partner hasn't shown up :( and its now sunday evening and I've heard fuck all.

I'm flipping between absolutely furious and really not bothered at all.

Just feel so awfully let down and want to punch him for making me feel so terrible. I haven't even gone out and it has made this whole weekend so pointless.

I don't even know if I can get past this. It feels like a massive betrayal and I don't know If i'm being oversensitive right now or not. (period, plus sick relative etc)

OP posts:
Original poster
TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 11/07/2016 11:25

horehound that's why I'm making alternative arrangements because I don't want him here and I know for a fact he wont be welcome here.

If he has indeed ended up in hospital or something extreme then surely that would require a different approach?

If its man flu ( I suspect it is ) or any other piss poor excuse then I shall be tearing his bollocks off and shoving them up his own backside before telling him to do one.

OP posts:
Horehound · 11/07/2016 11:33

If he has indeed ended up in hospital or something extreme then surely that would require a different approach? Yes obviously but it's not!

If its man flu ( I suspect it is ) Come on OP it's not man flu either. He didn't say he was ill when he said he was gona come later on the Friday and he didn't say anything when he said he was going to come on sat afternoon. Stop being a mug.

purplefox · 11/07/2016 11:50

Has he been online on any social media since Saturday?

WannaBe · 11/07/2016 11:51

Agree there is no chance he's been ill. More likely he's seeing someone else.

How much communication do you have during the week and on weekends when you're not seeing each other?

Original poster
TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 11/07/2016 12:22

I'm not being a mug. Did you miss the bit where I pointed out man flu or any piss poor excuse he's done for? He did, in his message say he was ill as I said in my OP. I'm not taking any of those as valid excuses for not turning up and not calling me.

No he hasn't been online at all over the weekend. Just checked the accounts. Even FB tells you the last time someone logged in. No answer on his phone So right now I am flipping between rage because I don't know if he's ignoring me on purpose and worry because I can't get to his to check on him and I cant get in touch with him. Work colleague said he isn't in (we are friends on twitter so easy to ask if he's there without it being intrusive) and will let me know if he hears from him or shows up late.

Yes, we talk a lot during the week and weekends. Often have 2-3 hour phone calls or facetime when I'm cooking. Which sounds bizarre I know but it has worked for us.

OP posts:
wherethefuckisthefuckingtuna · 11/07/2016 12:23

I can't believe he still hasn't contacted you.

You have every right to be absolutely seething about this (provided nothing drastic has happened).

I would be going absolutely barmy.

Horehound · 11/07/2016 12:26

Oh sorry OP. I didn't read it properly. Very sorry

Original poster
TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 11/07/2016 12:30

Its OK. hound Trying to stay calm here because DC will be home in a couple of hours and its the reason I'm not going all out hulk over it.

DC will pick up on these things. I have arranged for a friend and their DC to come over today to distract DC from my mood if that makes sense. She knows what is going on so will have dinner with us and leave just before DC starts bedtime routine.

OP posts:
Montane50 · 11/07/2016 22:39

You sound like you're trying to stay calm despite his poor behaviour -i admire you for that, but I think you realise its over, which is sad

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 11/07/2016 23:29

I think if he hasn't been active on social media. isn't answering calls and now hasn't turned up to work id be asking someone to go round and check he is safe and well.

Dutchcourage · 11/07/2016 23:35

op I had an ex that did this. His excuse was thst he was so ill he was passing in and out if conciseness and ended up in hospital. It was all rubbish.

Some people are just arses.

Brew
ThomasRichard · 11/07/2016 23:46

I'd be quite concerned if he hasn't turned up for work. Does his workplace have an HR dept that could do a welfare check? The police to do a welfare check would be my next stop.

bakeoffcake · 11/07/2016 23:57

You really should inform the police so they can check his house. The fact he said he was ill and now hadn't turned up for work is very worrying.

Redglitter · 12/07/2016 00:08

I agree with the others. You've said it's out of character he's been out of touch for days, not online and now not at work. You need to get someone to check on him. Do it asap

TokenGinger · 12/07/2016 00:24

Bloody hell. I agree if he hasn't turned in to work, I'd be really concerned and would carry out a welfare check.

OutToGetYou · 12/07/2016 00:31

Fb only tells you if someone has logged into 'chat', not if they've been on fb itself. I never log into chat.

GlitteryFluff · 12/07/2016 00:47

Hope you hear from him soon op.

TendonQueen · 12/07/2016 00:48

I'd be honest with the friend at his work, and say you need someone over there to check on him just to rule out the 1% chance he's in a coma. But then you'll be dumping him as he's behaved very badly to you.

FastWindow · 12/07/2016 00:56

God, i now hope hes just a massive arse, and this doesn't end like that other thread with the late babysitting.

Redglitter · 12/07/2016 00:58

I wouldn't wait to speak to a colleague. I'd phone the police and get them to do it tonight

ilovelamp82 · 12/07/2016 01:00

I was thinking the exact same thing Fastwindow

2nds · 12/07/2016 01:06

Why is he living in another part of the country?

FastWindow · 12/07/2016 01:08

Were you on that lamp? Awful

ilovelamp82 · 12/07/2016 01:10

Yes awful. Especially as we'd all got quite annoyed on the babysitters behalf. Hopefully it's not the same case here.

2nds · 12/07/2016 01:11

Would his illness be depression OP? You say he lost his family in bad circumstances so I can only imagine he's possibly suffering depression.