DP didn't show up.

[TwatbadgingCuntfuckery]

I like to keep these things short and to the point.

Had planned to spend a very very rare weekend alone with DP. Been over a year since we last had the chance to and this week I really really need it after a relative has been diagnosed with cancer. Need a good shoulder and all that. :(

WE don't live together but have been together for 2 years.

This has been planned for a good 4-5 mths. DC has SEN so we have to plan things like this.

Wasted all of Friday - he was meant to take the day of work and didn't tell me he couldn't until friday :( and would be here friday at 10pm. Fine but I woke up sat AM and he wasn't here. He has a key.

Wasted all of Saturday morning waiting thinking he would get an early AM start instead. He lives in another city and it takes 3 hours to get here. This has happened before because of weather/working late because of a deadline etc.

Got a message at lunchtime saying he was ill and 'will be down later on'. Got to 4pm and he still wasn't here so I had to call and cancel the surprise meal I'd planned. Fucking embarrassing to say your OH wasn't in town :(

I've been left alone, had to cancel the restaurant I had planned for sat eve - embarrassing to say your partner hasn't shown up :( and its now sunday evening and I've heard fuck all.

I'm flipping between absolutely furious and really not bothered at all.

Just feel so awfully let down and want to punch him for making me feel so terrible. I haven't even gone out and it has made this whole weekend so pointless.

I don't even know if I can get past this. It feels like a massive betrayal and I don't know If i'm being oversensitive right now or not. (period, plus sick relative etc)

Sounds shite.

Although did you give the restaurant a reason for cancelling? No need to do that, just cancel.

Can you hide phone / social media for a bit?

family dead - yes. Very much so. I have seen the news reports for myself. I'm remaining vague on this for obvious reasons so please don't try to guess what it is.

He's not old, mid 40s.

I am concerned too owllady it has, up until recently, been regularly visits every 3-4 weeks from Friday - Sunday. Sometimes mon if a bank holiday.

wisp I was pretty upset when I called to cancel.

My first thought was married too, sorry op but it doesn't look good.

I'm so sorry for you. There better be one hell of an explanation for this (can't think of one I'd be happy with tbh). So sorry about your relative too. Please do something nice to be kind to you this eve (film treat, vino, face mask/soak in the bath) and to hell with him!

Have you ever been to his & met his friends etc or not because of DC with SEN?

Have you ever been to his house?
Checked his social media?
Met any of his friends?

Or he went out and got pissed Friday, hungover on sat and fell asleep/drunken slur of a day and basically can't be arsed coming. Anyway, i wouldn't be in touch with the arse again and he obviously doesn't care! No one who does treats you like that.

It looks like this relationship has run it's course, so sorry

It's really shitty that he didn't turn up when you could presumably have had a great time with friends on your child free weekend, rather than sitting around waiting for him.

I would block him and move on.

If he's not married or seeing somebody else I'll eat my hat.

Wow ExtraHot we posted the same thing, at the same time.

Who has no friends? Sorry OP he's either married or very odd.

Are you getting any support with your child?
You don't seem very well supported and obviously I don't know the nature of the disability but I'm assuming it's significant if you struggle to get normal care. Are you going to any support groups etc?
I'm glad you know yourself it's undeniable having someone so flakey around him/her/you. You seem vulnerable atm and you need to look after yourself

Yes Sandy. Great minds... 😊

I am struggling to find an explanation but you never know. He could be really poorly.

Could you have gone up there yesterday? Too late now, the weekend is over.

What are you thinkng? That he couldn't be bothered and work and feel g ill were just excuses to avoid it?

It sounds like he's married to me too.

Have you ever been to his home? Is there anyone he has introduced you to?

Undesirable, not undeniable. Sorry

Is he due into work tomorrow?
If you don't hear form him tonight could you call his work and find out if he's there?

You must be so worried.

Poor you OP

It'd be a deal breaker for me I'm afraid.

He could be an engineer but even an engineer would let you know they were not coming or were unwell

i think you need to do some serious digging ...
good luck hope its all innocent.

Sorry, OP.

I hope everything works out the way you want it to ... not sure what that is ... but that's what I hope for you. xx

Have you ever been to his house?
Checked his social media?
Met any of his friends?

yes, I've stayed there a few times but DC doesn't travel well so not as often as he visits me. I've gone alone and with DC and even showed up a day early once because I'd booked my tickets for the wrong date.

Yes, he is very visible online for his work. I know the ins and outs of his life, where he works, his friends, been with him to leave flowers for his family. Even met his Ex who is married to a new chap.

owllady its behavioural and sensory processing and imo undiagnosed high functioning ASD but they are convinced its an attachment disorder so we don't qualify for respite but I do get DLA and use this to pay for some specialist therapy and afterschool care a few times a week. I don't get much time off because family 'cant handle DC' so I do the majority myself. Childminders locally wont take on DC (8yo) because they care for babies too and DC has meltdown. Too much noise is an issue. I get the reasoning but it is frustrating. I can't afford a nanny/1-2-1 care as much as I wish I could.

As you can imagine our weekends alone or with OH are usually planned, quiet and easily escapable from.

I could've planned so much for this weekend

There were news reports on the death of his family? All of them??