What is the worst thing a man has ever said to you after sex?

[user1467042399]

Mine has to be after I got back with my ex afterwards he said "thankyou I needed that"
Kind of felt awkward.
Or another guy said "I'm so pleased we are friends"

The first time I had sex, boyfriend said 'I bet that was better than 2 fingers'.
I don't remember the sex at all so not a memorable first time!

'That was really professional'

Haha, the cow one reminded me of another ex. We were having a post action cuddle when he stroked my leg and told me I was "sexy like a fish" He didn't understand why I was so offended as apparently it's a compliment in his culture ( because fish are smooth )

Me, aged 18 to a man in his early twenties, jokingly: Here's the bit where you tell me you have three kids and a wife.
Him: No, just one kid and a partner.
Unfortunately, he wasn't joking.
When I told him that we should call it a day, he genuinely couldn't grasp why.

Oh and the one who had told his mate before I had even left! I knew this because I got a text from MY friend within five minutes of leaving. I owned it though and said "it was hardly worth it, I would give him two out of ten". He had "Two out of Ten" tagged onto his name for a looooong time afterwards

"I never had any problem sleeping with *insert ex wife's name here".

Thanks for that. Sorry you're impotent. :-/

Gosh I've just remembered one..I knew I couldn't have gotten off lightly...

When I asked a guy to wear a condom and he did but shrugged afterwards and said "I've got one baby mother, but I'd be happy to stick one in you too..."

It was like a Mills and Boon novella...my uterus was literally cartwheeling with joy.

He called me the wrong name

My first time

I was very tense and it wouldn't "go in"

He said "I've never had that problem before"

I wish I'd been more prepared. I wish he'd been better at it. I wish I had waited

Sorry to disappear - thanks for the kind wishes.

I dont remember this but apparently after my first time with my DP I patted his back and said "that was nice"!
If I was him, there wouldn't have been a 2nd time!

Well I've had 'You're quite loose I can't feel as much as I'd like.'

From my husband. I bet he wonders why we don't have more sex, but put it this way - we're never going to have a conversation about sex again so he can take what he's given.

Ooh ive shaken one loose, I'm going for a poo.

My very dddh. Also a charmer.

'You can leave now' was shown door and walked back to my halls of residence a couple of miles away, at that hour of the morning there was no public transport. I am bi, the offending partner was female. The worst from a man would be, 'Is the damp back in that corner?', he was right though . . the damp problem had come back in the corner of the room.

When I was at uni I was sleeping with a guy who I didn't particularly even like it was just a booty call on nights out. As soon as we were finished he'd say "you can wait outside for your taxi" or "I'm going to sleep so be quiet when you leave"
One time we were in the middle of things when his housemate came into the room, apologised for interrupting but good old mr charming said "don't worry you can have a go I don't mind"- like I was some toy to be passed around, that was the last time I saw him!

Will you be my girlfriend? From what was supposed to be a one night stand I laughed

I have one that was during, he kept referring to his penis in the third person

The cock, the cock is inside you, and on and on. Because I really needed a running commentary

"Did you enjoy it? Because I couldn't tell .... it was like being in bed with a block of wood, to be honest."

I kept going back for nearly a year. Self esteem issues ....

"Right, I need to unblock that drain."

Thanks for stopping by..!

That's was nice but.. then a critique of my bj teqnique and advice on how to do it better. amongst other things like he cba having sex after said bj.
Don't know why I went with him.

Current bf fucking loves my bjs ,well and everything.

Not after but during "Ooo you're just like schoolgirl" WTF? I was 36, he was 42 and I'm sure he couldn't remember back to his teens. I dumped him shortly afterwards, I didn't feel comfortable with that comment even though I am 5ft and then weighed just under 7 stone.

Someone actually once said to me after sex Do you know that song, "Goodbye my lover" completely out of the blue. We didn't last long.

But then you know that moment where you just both look at each other and neither of you k ow what to say? Well DH decided to break that tension by smiling sheepishly, reaching for a carton of orange juice on the bedside table and saying in a very chirpy tone: "fancy some juice?!"

Sounds rather nice, actually.
Especially compared to some of the others here ...

"Did you enjoy it? Because I couldn't tell .... it was like being in bed with a block of wood, to be honest."

But he couldn't be arsed to stop doing what he was doing at the time despite noticing that you weren't enjoying it?

An ex after I gave him a BJ: you shouldn't have done that, nice girls don't do that sort of thing
-he didn't stop me tho, waited till he'd finished to tell me that!

DH after one of first times we slept together sang James Blunt Goodbye my Lover (weird and wrong on so many levels!) and has fallen asleep a fair few times during sex over the yrs. Our wedding night I went to change into sexy lingerie I'd spent a small fortune on and came back to find him passed out. Totally unable to rouse him -in all senses
To be fair we'd had a huge amount to drink -Irish wedding