What is the worst thing a man has ever said to you after sex?

[user1467042399]

Mine has to be after I got back with my ex afterwards he said "thankyou I needed that"
Kind of felt awkward.
Or another guy said "I'm so pleased we are friends"

He hadn't by the way - just wanting to twist the knife a bit deeper (metaphorically speaking) I guess

Nothing at all. Ex H used to get up after our five minutes of awful humping, no foreplay or consideration for my enjoyment. Then he'd wipe his bits on the closest bit of fabric he could get his hands on (duvet cover, curtains, tshirt etc) and shuffle back downstairs to watch TV. A real charmer!

Not after sex, but directly before. Which makes it all the more shameful that I went through with it anyway.

"I should warn you now, I'm a fucking terrible kisser."

He was.

Bloody hell, CuppaTea

Not awful, but funny: 'That was classic intercourse!' Said in full Alan partridge impression voice I fell about laughing, and it has now become a bit of a thing

"You're really tight for someone who's had kids"

ERmmm...thank you?!

After I got back from the bathroom. 'Are you still here?'
Charming.

cuppa that's awful.

bomfunk

I'd have proposed on the spot

It was me actually...I said "wash yourself up love, Coronation street is on..."

Told me his ex has bigger boobs!
I told him his dick reminds of a pencil!
This was in my much younger and wilder days....my friends and I then spread the rumour about his pencil dick hahaa very mature I know
The Truth was it was actually quite a normal size

You're the first I've had no feelings for (said by 50 year old - not a16 year old youth)

Before sex somone laughed at me because they believed every woman should have a Brazilian

I really wish I told him to F off but I didn't and that was the start of 5 miserable years.

mother what a shame you didn't retort...

"Yes I have a Brazilian, he's 22 built like a god and finishes the job you can't do..."

Ahh Hindsight.

Ha ha ha ha ineedmore if anyone ever laughs about it again I will definately say that.

Cuppa so sorry :(

An ex of mine had told me he found stockings really sexy so one day when I went round his I wore some. He asked me to leave them on while we DTD.

Afterwards he said "You've made an old man very happy."
He was only 27...
I should have run like the wind then but I stuck it out for 7 years of bullshit.

Announced it had been 17 years since he had had sex with anyone other than his partner. The partner that I didn't know he had.

After driving for an hour to spend the evening with my new date, we ate dinner, watched a movie and I went down on him - he then said 'We need to talk, I'm just not feeling it'. All said while I was still looking for my bra. I then got back in my car and he immediately closed the door and the curtains leaving me to drive the hour home. When I asked why he couldn't have said that before I'd had his cock in my mouth, he messaged back to say 'I didn't want to lead you along waiting for the elusive 4th date'. Twat.

Oh my god what charmers are out there.
Also a long time ago after a night out I started having Sex with this guy( I knew him and was drunk and outside ) people were passing by so we stopped and he told me later he had a girlfriend but he didn't cheat with me as he didn't orgasam ????

"We can't do that again, your self-harm scars put me off".

Not necessarily bad, but not something a normal human would say immediately after sex:
It was my first time ever, and DH's first time with me. Did the deed, was lovely
But then you know that moment where you just both look at each other and neither of you k ow what to say? Well DH decided to break that tension by smiling sheepishly, reaching for a carton of orange juice on the bedside table and saying in a very chirpy tone: "fancy some juice?!"

My ex, who I was with for 8 years, said thank you after. Every. Single. Time. For 8 years

Sadly, in some western societies and families, both men and women are conditioned to think in terms of women being providers of sex and men as takers/recipients of sex, rather than shared partners in the experience. Rather sad.

I can share the worst thing I think I ever said to a woman after sex... “You have the most beautiful.... soulful... brown.... cow eyes.” I realised what I said as soon as I said it, I had spent time on a farm as a kid and thought the eyes of cows were gorgeous. Tsk.

Just after my ex rolled onto her side with her back to me, she patted thigh amd said,
"Well that was average"

It wasnt as bad as it sounds really, we had names for our sessions, quickie, average, kinky, hardcore.

"I had spent time on a farm as a kid and thought the eyes of cows were gorgeous".

Aw, I'd have been flattered, I think .. I know what you mean, esp Jersey cows.

Not to me but one of the bouncers in a pub I used to work in would say "give me a hug and pretend that you love me"