DH has gone missing

[HeadWrecked26]

Name changed for this as I don't want this attached to my usual name.

Long story short DH (and his friend) has gone missing and I have no idea what to do!

He went out to friends on Sunday evening around 6. He called at 9ish said he was staying out but would be home approx 10am Monday morning.
All fine as he didn't have work etc etc.
I had a message from his friend st around 2pm Monday saying that DHs phone has died and that DH is really sorry he is late but he'll be home by tea time.
Since then no one has seen or heard from DH or his friend.
I've checked the police custody suite, hospitals, as many friends that I can think of and been round to friends house but obviously no one was there.
I'm worried sick, I can't sleep, can't eat and my anxiety is only letting me think the worst has happened.

I know this is about ranty, sorry for that! I just needed to talk about how scared I am. Can anyone think of a logical explanation to where they could have got to? I need abit of hope that he's okay!

I am so sorry Head. I hope you have some family support.

We are all here for you

I can't imagine any of his friends who knew you were looking for him think he is a stand out bloke either.

He really has majorly fucked up.

I laughed at the idea of his thongs going missing.
Pethaps there could be an unconfirmed sighting of them in a nearby garden.

Have read from beginning but didnt know what to say and still dont. Just take care of you and your little one. He doesn`t matter now. I hope you will take note of the great advice given and you will get through this though it seems bleak right now xxx

OP, I'm so sorry he put you through all this. You can get through it. Personally I would deliver all his possessions at the friends house who covered for him... But that's just me.

No doubt he will be having a nervous breakdown next.

Just take care of you and your child.

Hope you managed to get some sleep last night OP

Your DH is a fucking fuckface

I you need to break down OP let yourself. Can you call a riend to come over and help?

Keep strong, you can get through this. Maybe a trip to CAB on Monday to know your rights too. Virtual hugs x

You can and you will cope. You will because you're a Mum and you have no bloody choice 💐

He's a completely selfish wanker and there's absolutely no going back from this. Fucking around/having an affair is one thing, putting you through this hell is another altogether.

Don't you dare take any of the responsibility of the blame for this. IF he wasn't happy, he should have talked to you, but likely he was as happy as any of us are and was flattered by someone paying him attention - thought he could get away with a bit of playing away.

You have a lovely, lovely baby - you two will be fine.
Honest

It is not pathetic. You deserve better. To have a (few) moments of weakness after everything he has put you through is expected. You will cope. But if for now you feel weak, betrayed and want to cry and wish you were a million miles away. That is just fine and normal. Look after yourself and your DC.

Thinking of you op & hoping you've got through the weekend OK.

Thinking of you

Sending you Unmumsnetty hugs.
And the promise that even with an absolute arsehole ex you can hope for a future when you are happy and your child is happy. Surround yourself with supportive sensible people and look after yourself however feels best.

Hope all ok. What a dickhead !

Well the OP's not been back for two days. What's the betting he's wormed his way back in?

Or she has enough to deal.with without updating MN

Hope you are OK OP

What a horrible thing to do to you

Weekend - "wormed his way back in"

It's easy for us to stand & dish out advice, but if the OP has decided to give him another chance, I'd hate her to read a comment like that & feel she'd be judged if she came back, therefore narrowing her chances of support incase of a repeat.

Thank you for the kind words of support to everyone who's given it. I have read and appreciated every comment!

You're right WeekendAway I haven't commented in two days. What sort of update would you like? How many boxes of tissues I've gone through crying or how many bin bags I've used to pack up all his crap? Or how about how many missed calls I have of my STBXH even better how much it cost me to get the locks changed?

I haven't commented because I don't know what to say bar how lovely most of the commenters have been and how much I appreciate the support I've been offered on this thread and through PMs. Just because you're not getting a running commentary of my impending divorce doesn't mean I'm back with the man who's put me through hell.

Are you ok?

Hope you are ok head, it must be a very difficult time for you. I think in general most posters are genuinely concerned for you and probably just wanted to hear you were coping ok. You have had one hell of a week. I wish you all the luck in the world. You have so many fab things ahead of you free of that awful H. here's to you and your DC. Take care

Ah op. Don't worry about MN!

Maybe start a new thread for support. You will need it over next few months

You'll get there sweetie. Plenty of us out here can offer support, many of us have 'been there'

Keep on keeping on Head, you're doing grand for someone whose world has fallen apart in such a horrible way.

You just concentrate on yourself. You don't owe any of us anything!

It will get easier. Then it will get better.

Yes, he's a cunt, and it isn't fair and it's not your fault, he's just a cunt. Please don't feel ashamed or embarrassed when people ask you about it, tell them straight with your head high.

You will cope, you will. It may not feel like it now, but you will.

One step at a time. Cry when you need to.

Yes, be angry, Head, you have every right to be..
You don't owe us anything at all, people just want to hear how you are.
Fwiw, I think you are doing amazingly well.

Take good care of yourself and your DC, I hope you have good support in RL.