DH has gone missing

[HeadWrecked26]

Name changed for this as I don't want this attached to my usual name.

Long story short DH (and his friend) has gone missing and I have no idea what to do!

He went out to friends on Sunday evening around 6. He called at 9ish said he was staying out but would be home approx 10am Monday morning.
All fine as he didn't have work etc etc.
I had a message from his friend st around 2pm Monday saying that DHs phone has died and that DH is really sorry he is late but he'll be home by tea time.
Since then no one has seen or heard from DH or his friend.
I've checked the police custody suite, hospitals, as many friends that I can think of and been round to friends house but obviously no one was there.
I'm worried sick, I can't sleep, can't eat and my anxiety is only letting me think the worst has happened.

I know this is about ranty, sorry for that! I just needed to talk about how scared I am. Can anyone think of a logical explanation to where they could have got to? I need abit of hope that he's okay!

to be honest,if there has been a sighting of him confirmed then the police shouldn't really be wasting more time and resources on this. he should be paid to pay for wasting their time if he is just on a jolly or has willingly left the op

Thanks garlic and lis. Agreed neither option is great. I'd be beside myself.

Id the sighting is genuine I'd be fucking livid and would be changing the locks. What a disgusting thing to do to someone.

How awful, I sincerely hope he has just decided to be a selfish git and is a combination of drunk/high/hungover so that you can hear he is ok soon and choose to leave or deal with him then. I would also in your shoes be more worried than angry at this stage, I hope you have some rl support and are managing to eat and sleep.

Checking in to see if any news; cold comfort that he's not lying dead in his mates house I suppose. Hope you get some communication from him soon.

Wow it's all very strange hope you find him soon and get to the bottom of it all

Being drunk/hungover would be an excuse for a day or so, but he's been missing for four days now. Even if his phone died, he could use a phone in a shop, police station or whatever to get in touch. Or he could, y'know, just go home.

Is it possible that him and the friend are caught up in something? Not necessarily drugs/gambling but could they be having a relationship and have both done a runner to be together, for example?

for you OP, it must be awful. But I would be thinking long-term now - you can't really come back from something like this, so I would be thinking about the future - changing the locks, divorce and how you'll cope as a single parent.

If, on the off chance, he has had some kind of breakdown (unlikely), then you'll need a lot of time and space to help him recover.

How awful for you. You must be going out of your mind.
I would feel a bit more reassured that he is with his mate, but I know that doesn't help.

Glad he has been sighted as, like you say, it indicates he is safe. You must be so angry with him now, though

I hope you are looking after yourself. Have you got people around IRL?

OP hope you and the baby are ok

If he is alive, and conscious, and not being held against his will, he could get a message to his wife.

Hope you get some news soon... you need to take care of yourself and baby!

My 12 year old nephew took initiative and asked to use the landline phone in a supermarket the other day to get a message home ffs!

Glad you have had some news OP.

But in your position I would be incandescent by now. How inconsiderate can he possibly be?

I'd check your bank account etc. And check you are going to be ok financially.

Assuming sighting is accurate and he has not been hospitalised or kidnapped then nothing can excuse this level of fuckwittery.

Either he is going to come back with one of the "excuses" on this thread none of which is acceptable or he is gone for the long term so regretfully I'd start making plans to make sure you are ok without him op.

Annoyed on your behalf that he appears to have done this with no thought for you.

I don't understand this have never heard of anything like it.

Blokes disappearing for 24 hours, yes, it's not OK but it happens.

But 4 days? And friends of friends have seen him? And you have a young child together? I've never heard of anything like this.

Yes I think I was being unrealistic.

We could all be wrong but I'm afraid it's looking likely he's done one.

What do you deep down think OP? Be honest, was there an argument before he went or quite recently where he could've thought sod this?

If this is the case then he's a complete tosser for not getting in touch.

Hope he's OK if this is not the case.

And why would he do this to his child??

It's so odd. Why wouldn't he call someone, anyone to get a message to you!

i'd give it till tomorrow morning then lodge a claim for extra benefits as a lone parent......bag his stuff up

Had hoped I'd come back to find he's returned with simple explanation. I'm really sorry you are having to go through this. Would echo what pp have said, are you looking after yourself? Eating/drinking? Do you have a good support network around you? Keep strong.

And why would he do this to his child??

Love Afraid not is not uncommon behaviour, saw a lot of this working in family law. The male ability to completely cut off from their DC is shocking at times.

So angry for you OP. Is there anyone who can come and stay to help you with baby/food/house etc? Are you managing to eat and stuff?

It's totally beyond me