We're Stayin' Alive, it's DATING THREAD 105

[tanyadm]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

I genuinely love him though, he is wonderful and we connect on every level. Omg, tipsy and loved up!

Lol, and there's you worried about him cooling off.
Delighted for you Tanya.

I was actually going to post about his texts earlier but forgot.
Basically I cool down on the texts leading up to a date to make sure I've plenty to talk about when face to face.
I think fellas do this too, probably more as we ladies can be naturally more chatty.

I've my first sleepover with my guy tomorrow night.
I'm a ball of anxiety over it.
Good thing is I'm off food and running to take mind off.
I'll be skinny as fook thanks to OLD

He was stressed about various things in his life, hence the cooling off. He's now primed to share and let me support him rather than pushing me away.

Right, help me construct an Amy Young style text to IndieBoy please!!

We were supposed to meet up for lunch today. He had said he was going to have a nap . I didn't hear from him again until 12.30, when he texted saying 'sorry, not going to make it - just woken up'.
He is pretty flaky, and last minute, but I'm pissed off. He lives 5mins from where I work anyway, so I don't know why he couldn't head over even if he had just woken up.
Anyway, I don't need this flakiness - you either want to see me or you don't.

I need to be strong and bin him off - help me!!

Sky definitely agree he needs to go, how rude of him!
Ok I'd say something like, "I'm not really a drop my plans kind of person and was expecting a bit more from this, which is a shame. Lets leave it. Good luck"

failing that.... "Men can be pricks, but you sir are a cactus" or "acting like a dick will not make it grow any bigger". I like those two

PrizeyPrize He texted a while later, just saying he was in the vicinity, and I replied 'Well done' and left it at that . Hoping that at least sends a sort of message. I think he's on last chance, or maybe he's had it, I don't know yet. But, I am not a last minute plan. If he wants to see me, I need to know he wants to see me, without half an hour to spare.....
If I can plan in advance as a working single parent, he bloody can!

Great response skyrabbit
Perfect!
I'd not reply again.

Thankyou starskey I really like him, but I'm not prepared to beg to see him, wait until he decides he wants to see me, or waste any more time on him. If he wants this, he can do some motherfucking work!!

Congratulations Tanya. Its good to hear a lovely success story!
I'm is same position as ashmtg wondering if it would be good just to be happy with or without dating.
I'm still thinking about RL man so have held off Tinder for moment, but think he probably would have been more obvious if keen. I won't officially be divorced for few months yet, so maybe I'll just read the stories on here to prep for dating.
Sky I think you've taken only option really - show you're not impressed and give him space to improve. Hope he does!

Amy young says "I'm not on call" so prizey's message does convey that nicely!

Omg!!! tanyas in Lurve!!!!! . So happy for your Tanya!

lilac I'm really enjoying not being on any dating apps. However the RL irons aren't easy work either!

sky that's the perfect response!

starskey it'll be fine, promise! Although agreed it is bloody nerve racking.

prizey I agree would be mighty rude! How's things otherwise.

at rest of thread.

Sorry to butt in, I came on here briefly a few months back but then disappeared again. A quick question. I have been talking to somebody on pof for a few days, seems nice but no rapport there yet. He wants to talk on the phone tonight but I am not keen, makes me nervous. I have made an excuse that I am currently talking to a friend and have logged off. What do you think I should say?

Helennn I hate talking on the phone in general! Why do you feel nervous? Just with him as there's no rapport?

Just with him at the moment. He started off really friendly, it was chatting back and forth but it seems to have gone a bit off kilter today. I am not keen on the phone anyway and i often put off making calls. I just wondered if I was being unreasonable for not calling him.

Bit late to this thread but loving it so I'll just say 'hi'! I've just posted my own thread about 5 mins ago before finding this. I love it!!

No dates lined up but I'll be checking in hear regularly. Have fun and stay safe lovelies! x

here lol sorry I blame the wine!

That's okay, I'm going in.... 😆

Helennn not unreasonable at all, if you don't feel like chatting on the phone then don't. Just tell him you're tired

Actually I did and I'm pleased. He is a Pratt and I won't waste a night out on him! 😆

But thanks for the advice, didn't mean to sound like I was disregarding your advice. He riled me up, there are some idiots out there, as you all know!

helenn I'm exactly the same.....hate a phone call before you've met (after not so bad), don't know why. I know people often do this and have no problem with it but I just can't. I like to read body language and see the whites of his eyes. Just tell him you are not a fan of phonecalls. He should be understanding. If not -his loss.
Sassy hi!! Yes all good my end. Head in a good place right now and moving on nicely. Decided it's time to have some fun, no heavy relationships (if I can help it) just enjoying myself and letting my hair down, I think I need it! Having great very funny light hearted chats with MrGif-10yrsyounger. Date due for Tues but said this morning he may have to rearrange due to work. Can't wait to meet him though, one of the best rapports I've had on OLD so far.....and I've been doing it a while!! Plus he is extremely fanciable! I will update!

Helennn glad you weeded him out!!

Helennn I agree phonng could be harder as you can't 'read' body language. Not so bad if you know the person well as you know by tone of voice and expressions what they're thinking.
If he calls maybe keep the conversation to friendly but 'light' areas such as similarities that you're already aware of. Then keep brief (have something in mind like I need to phone my Mum soon, cake is coming out of oven, need early night as up early...) and finish with "I'm looking forward to seeing you soon".

Hello a bit of advice please

I messaged a guy on pof a few days ago and he replied today asking if I'm on whatsapp. Should I ignore or give him my number? It says he wants to date but nothing serious. He's very cute though so I'm tempted!