We're Stayin' Alive, it's DATING THREAD 105

[tanyadm]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Singleandfab thanks for the reply..I agree but know I just don't fancy him..the younger one is..very nice shall we say! Don't do the whole 1 night stand thing though either so?!
Will see how it goes..both sent me a good morning!
As for cock shots..I've had them..think if you've met them etc it's ok..don't really know what they think they achieve though!!

Neat freak I wouldn't - but then I'm 23 so he would be 11!!! Haha but in all seriousness I say go for it, get yourself a toy boy!

Oh no not dick pics single!! I'm with spotty on this, not a fan! I don't find it a turn on at all, I think I'd probably find it funny!!! Haha and I don't normally go for the tall type, but I quite like it. It's quite nice snuggling into a big warm chest haha ...I'm 5 foot 3 and he is 6 foot 2 so it is quite the difference and I can't spontaneously kiss him, he has to bend down!! Hahaha

I've pondered the hotel idea but after his revelation (think you may have missed that one single but yeah he basically has admitted that we can't have sex because he has a condition - I'm still yet to find out what it is but I have suspicions) but yeah since that Id feel a little awkward suggesting a hotel. I did say to him that it would be really nice to have a 'base' that we could just chill out at...He agreed and said it would be nice to be able to stay together at the end of the night etc. So hopefully he will take the hint and suggest it so I don't have to.

CarrotMuncher, move on, let that be somebody else's problem. I'm 45 and I wouldn't settle for that.

Hi Carrot - No, I saw the whole 'skin' revelation.Do you think it's Herpes? Good of him to tell you/warn you if so. I'd say go for the hotel and see what happens.

Spotty "I want to jump his bones" ha ha - I know just how you feel. It's torture.

Is the no sex thing a permanent thing Carrot?
I wouldn't be able for it if it is tbh.
But if he's being treated and will be up for sex soon I wouldn't mind waiting for right guy.

I would agree warrior only I do really like him...Hmmm.. It's hard to say whether it would work without knowing. Yes that's what I'm thinking single, if that is the case then I definitely wouldn't do anything unless things went further down the relationship scale and definitely not without all possible precautions. I'm trying to think nicely about it because I suppose it only needs to be one time and then you're stuck with it for life! And yeah he can't be all bad otherwise he'd have just done it and vanished! I'm going with a 'cross that bridge when it comes' kind of thing for the time being and trying not to get ahead of myself.

I've no idea starskey, need to do more digging really! We have done 'stuff' before and that's been fine so it's not completely all out. It's a tough one!

Yeh, you don't owe it to him to stick with him.

He'd have to be the most amazing man on earth really, and for there to be no chance of you ever finding anyone who could compare.

Not doing the FWB thing, its just not me. Can't bring myself to do it. I've told him I'm uncomfortable and he said lets meet for a coffee first and if we want sex then we can go and do so....then sent me a cockshot. ....I'm hovering over the block button.

Anyway just a quick update from me....as you were

Hello everyone, may I steal your dating expertise?

Wow prizey, he sounds like a charmer. A proposition followed by a cock shot, how could you refuse??

Warrior, I know I don't owe him anything. And my sister also thinks I should run a mile...But I just quite like his company at the moment, and it doesn't bother me. That may change depending on what it is but at the moment (with my current suspicions) I don't think it's a total dealbreaker and I'm quite happy to go with the flow

Carrot I know!! I don't half pick them.... we are conversing in his native language, a European language that I speak fluently. "I really like you. Loads. Every time I look at your photo my cock gets hard" spoken in a romance language is still what it is, but he seems to think its fine, which I do not.
Re your iron, I think you are doing right but taking each step at a time and playing by ear, if you like him.
It is making me giggle though (I don't think he realises I'm laughing at him not with him)

NKFell welcome!

I'm a ninja/threadkiller and tbh I was starting to think my skills were on point!

I'm very new to dating and never knew you lot were here!

NK - any dating tales of woe?

Same old story, nice at first then too needy or instant cockshot!

I'm currently texting a guy who seems normal (very early days) but he's a policeman and for some reason it really puts me off- to clarify, I'm not a criminal

NK you've killed the thread 😩😂

Sorry, I'm normally a complete lurker, but just had to come and say, policeman, known shaggers!

How do I know? I'm a policewoman! Obviously there are some decent ones, its wrong to generalise, but I'd be quite untrusting of them just because of what I've seen.

Probably why I've been single (whispers) for 15 years. Hence why I'm a lurker on here, as my kids are 18 and 17 now and I really feel ready to get back in the game but don't know where to start, and am a bit scared of online dating (just because I've dealt with so many jobs involving scams I think).

Yeah I heard that about policeman and I'm sure there are lovely ones but some can be right knobs! also, terrified of online dating too!

NK - bloody coppers! I work with a lot of them, and they're all pretty cocksure of themselves!

I was chatting to a copper on tinder. No photo, and despite numerous requests for one, I never got one. He claimed to be in the AR unit, but I don't believe him he disappeared after I told him which station he worked at and where I thought he lived (not being a stalker, just from the mileages given on Tinder - I think he thought he was being mysterious and clever ) Properly went off him when he started talking about being a red blooded male and enjoying stockings and heels and various 'jokes' about handcuffs ....

Hi everyone, gosh this thread moves so fast! I'd like to reply about lots of posts but I can't remember who said what!

Thanks for explaining ghosting and irons, yep, I've been ghosted several times and it's soooo annoying. Why the heck can't they just have the balls to say it's not working for them or whatever?
Hello to the ones even newer than me, singleand fabulous your ladygarden dilemma post made me laugh, and lucky you with your younger man! I'd say stick with a nice tidy up, don't whip it all off unless you like it like that, and equally an abundantly natural ladygarden may not be so good for...er, certain activities depending how far you get!

And to whoever had the flowers, (I'm so sorry, I will get better with keeping up) how lovely!
My news...Mr Quirky has asked for a date, we have agreed Friday evening. I'm pleased, and a bit nervous, even though it's 'just' a date...I know he's been doing OLD for about a year and hasn't found anyone he's wanted to go on a date with yet, so I'm thinking 'ooh, he's picky, will I measure up?'
Of course I am remember the 'it's all bullshit' rule so he may have just said that, and actually might have had lots of dates...but the fact he's a bit quirky and likes a certain type of personality makes me think its probably true.
Got to think of where to go now, I hate when they say 'you decide'.
Ooh, and he has a website with some of his slate work, he told me to take a look and it's certainly not what I expected, but I'm very impressed (and possibly a little more nervous about measuring up now!)
I would put the website name on here if anyone wants to see, but then that would reveal his real name.

Prizey yes, I've had a FWB (please don't judge me too harshly, everyone!)

It can work, as long as you're both aware that it could end at any time if one or both of you are ultimately looking for a relationship and you do meet someone else. it can throw up some unexpected feelings, though that didn't happen with us. in my case, he wanted a proper relationship with me, but I knew we wouldn't suit each other in that way, but I was feeling very unattractive and down after my marriage break-down, and I guess I enjoyed the attention.

Oh, just seen your update prizey, just ignore me, I'm way too slow.

C*ckshots...no, don't like them, they do nothing for me, and I certainly wouldn't want one from a man I'm not in a relationship with. it would put me right off if an iron sent one to me.

Carrot I think you're right to go with the flow with your man, despite his 'problem'...you really like him, and there is much more to sex than the 'ins and outs' so to speak! It might not be something nasty, it could be something that's fairly easily sorted, and he's just made it worse by worrying about it so he 'thinks' he now can't have sex.

I was once seeing someone who revealed a similar problem to me when we were actually in bed for the first time...he had trouble maintaining an erection an older man) and to me it wasn't a problem, but to him it was sooooo humiliating. And of course the more pressure he put on himself to 'perform' the worse it was, despite my rreassurances that I didn't mind. it did take a while for him to fully accept that it really didn't matter, and hey ho, once he relaxed more, things literally started looking up! Find out more before getting rid of him, I'd say.

Well as predicted planeman is cooling off had a morning how's u text today which I eventually got round to replying to at 1pm and nothing since. Was tempted to just ignore but couldn't quite bring myself to.

And after weeks of match being useless I've got two irons messaging me on there ...at the moment they are a pleasant distraction from the situation with mum. She's still hanging on but is so much weaker..I feel bad messaging people but I need something to take my mind of how bad it is. I'll probably fall apart and the irons will go cold but for now they can serve a purpose.

I'm curious: what are the best sites for online dating, and why?

Hi all I'm new to all this just signed up to first old site at the wkend. I'm chatting to a guy he sounds nice and does look like I could fancy him from his pics. We are having a tongue in check slightly flirty chat but I'm so out of practice..eek. I'm trying to get the right level of being open to flirting without sounding like its on a plate!