We're Stayin' Alive, it's DATING THREAD 105

[tanyadm]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

No, I@m going to send the Q back to her tomorrow Handy. I guess she'll ask to see my profile.

Hmmmm

Messages took a u turn and all of a sudden he's gushing at how pretty I am and making conversation.

Things still seemed a bit off though. Dunno why and I'm possibly just being paranoid as he was making conversation etc but normally when we talk he makes reference to our next dates etc but nothing...and it just didn't feel the same.

Dating is hard work when you're an extreme over thinker.Wish I could skip all this

Go Warrior! Did he message back?

Also, is anyone else having probs with logging in to Tinder? Have googled it and apparently it's common but the suggested fixes aren't working for me (uninstall + reinstall, log out of FB etc...)

Handy, great news on benign lump. What a relief.

So my date wasn't a short arse. He was quite tall! We had a good evening although now my bank account is practically empty. This dating game is expensive stuff. How do you all cope? Luckily my date for weds is insisting on paying! He's very keen. Lots of nice texting which I like. I need reassurance in that way. And he's very complimentary. It's nice. And he's cute too.

Not sure there was a spark last night anyway.

Carrot have you had any developments on your date #4? Horrible feeling when you like someone and suspect they are pulling away. You might just be paranoid though?

And warrior whoop! Did Spanish man get back to you?

Hmm... what do you mean by developments?

It was him who mentioned going on another date. He said he was going to make a crude joke but wouldn't because he wouldn't want to risk not getting a 5th date. I told him he had to say it anyway so he made me pinky promise that he would still get a 5th date. I then said so where you taking me on this exciting 5th date and then he just said 'oh erm... I don't know, you will just have to wait'(maybe that's what's making me so paranoid - that there's no official plans and I am in limbo?)

Aww complimentary man sounds lovely. Fingers crossed for you, and you warrior! Has he messaged back?

Carrot - maybe he just hadn't thought of where to take you yet!? Sounds positive to me - he's suggested the 5th date and made you promise he would get it. Sounds good!

Not sure if complimentary man is a bit OTT. God, I'm never happy. If they don't compliment me I'm not happy. If they do compliment me I'm suspicious. No wonder I'm single!!

Carrot seems AOK to me??

Where there is dating - there is angst...

Can anyone shed any light on how to keep the cost of dating to a minimum? I'm not a stingy person and I feel a bit uncomfortable letting someone pay for everything, but my bank balance is taking a major hit. Which as a single mum is not good...

Yes that's what I thought initially. It's only now things don't seem right that I'm starting to second guess everything!

I need to try and stop overthinking it all and just let whatever happens happen. Easier said than done though but hey if im right to be paranoid and he is going off me it's not like I can change that is it!

I am the same spotty in terms of compliments. I find too many compliments too forward. But then I hate when they don't like to compliment because I find myself wondering if they even like me!!

In terms of the money thing though I've no experience cause I've not really done much dating apart from this guy and he always insists on paying despite my offer. Maybe try suggesting something cheap? You could do like mini golf or bowling or something that's just a set price as opposed to food or indefinite amount of drinks?

Update from me. My travelling man has returned! We met up the next day and ended up having a bit of a confused discussion, we got very close to dtd and I stopped because I wanted to find out if we were both on the same page. He said he really likes me and misses me but is worried he doesn't like me as much as I like him!
Also found out that he had never had sex before ...at 37!
I said that I only wanted to be with someone who is fully in to me, and he said that he missed me, and looks forward to seeing me, and he was not interested in seeing anyone else. We ended up dtd, and I stayed over and he was very loving and cuddly the next morning, and I ended up going round for a cup of tea and staying the night last night too.
He also brought back some really nice silver earrings for me from his travels, so I'm a bit confused, but we seem to make each other happy- but he seems to either be emotionally repressed or freaked out a bit.
Any advice, and any advice about going to bed with someone inexperienced?

Hey everyone, will catch up with thread imminently but have to vent..Oh jeez! I've encountered a crazy. He rang me this morning, now he thinks we are betrothed. Been texting me love hearts all fucking day, rang me out of the blue this afternoon, talking about 'us' and 'how we were strangers this morning and now look at us' . erm...still strangers. Then he said 'I know you have children and you come as a package but I could adopt them' WTAF? I need out! Block his number from my phone? Or tell him I'm not interested?? Help me fellow daters!!

MrGif told me all about the baby, all cool. But then he acted weird, cancelled our dates and I deleted him due to weird flakiness.

Is there no middle ground with these men and me at the moment??

Ooh Slow well he seems to be prioritising you, and it was thoughtful of him to buy you earrings... and he at least engaged in the conversation... I'd go with the flow if you can.

And well, you're the best judge of the dtd situation has you've dtd with him - assume that was all ok??

Bloody hell prizey how many times have you met the crazy lovebomber?? I would spell it out that I am very uncomfortable....

I've never bloody met him Handy!!!

Couple of messages this morning, he asked for number, I gave it, he called we chatted....the rest is history! I don't half pick 'em do I??

Oh god block block block OMG!!!!!!!!!

O.M.G!

Hi y'all. WOW, i can't believe the guy hadn't had sex before. Was he like a 16 year old?

I have an email notification that the spanish guy has replied and a few others have added me to favourites (wow, thanks for that guys, risky move there).

I'm going to do a work out before I even glance at pof though.

Prizey, that made me laugh, the no middle ground part. That guy that is talking about you and your dc being a package, wow, nuts. And then the guy you MET in real life, and had an honest conversation with, he has disappeared. The world of OLD!

Yeh, Spotty, the whole time I was going out with H (even though he picked me up, usually) I had to pay a babysitter, about €40 and that was about twice a week. We only went out for dinner twice and I paid once. And then went home and paid the babysitter. That was one of the most expensive nights of my life! And I was by then thinking, the connection isn't here.

Oh and sorry for very long post!

Slow - How has he actually managed to stay a virgin for so long? How do you feel about that? ....Have you seen the film the 40 year old virgin? He does sound sweet though. I have no idea what I'd do...how do you feel about teaching him the (for want of a better phrase)....ins and outs?

314 Ola any progression with the Spaniard? I know!! The twisted, fucked up world of OLD....will we ever make sense of it? I'm ready to throw the towel in again for a little while tbh...I'm exhausted by it right now! How is your dating guru working out for you? Worth the money?

Spotty - How about walks in the park & picnics? They should be fairly low on cost. One of you bring food, one of you bring wine, or each bring a bit of both? Or free museums/art galleries? How cool that he did not turn out to be short? Result. I have to say, I'm becoming more heightist by the day. All previous men in my life have been short and suffering from Napoleon syndrome, quite frankly I just want a change - just for the hell of it. Watch my next date be hot as fuck....but 5'5.

Carrot so easy to overthink, don't worry we all do it. Its incredibly annoying, meditation for 10 minutes or so normally helps me (a bit).

Handy I forgot to say, so pleased that the lump is benign! Must have been such a worry. Is Twix still behaving himself?

Tanya how you doing?

Woolly I had a bit of trouble this morning with Tinder, but now its all back up and running and sending head-cases my way

Being quite shy, in science so not many girls and travelling/ living abroad a lot. First time went ok ( it's never perfect first time in my experience) and he's eager to learn about the rest. I really like him but a bit worried that he doesn't like as much as I like him. His actions belie that though, it's just when I ask a direct question he seems to freak out. He's happy to plan in advance, messages reliably and affectionate.

I blocked CrazyMan on all avenues....Whatsapp, Tinder and Iphone contact.....I've just had a No Caller ID call on my phone.....eeeek!!! I ignored.