Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just found out dh had an affair

486 replies

faffalotty · 02/06/2016 11:09

About 3 years ago apparently. I feel sick shaky and empty. Dont know what to do. We've been together 28 years
Handholding or sympathy welcome

OP posts:
faffalotty · 15/06/2016 13:17

sorry if I sounded pushy.

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 15/06/2016 13:49

You didn't but it's my nature to wonder why I'm not doing what others tell me too or suggest.

BarbaraRoberts · 15/06/2016 17:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingtobeawesome · 15/06/2016 17:21

I find I'm less tolerant of DH. Makes me sad and makes me worry it's the aftermath that will do for us and not the betrayal.

Maybe give it a go, BR? Might be helpful and if not you know you tried?

BarbaraRoberts · 15/06/2016 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingtobeawesome · 15/06/2016 17:58

We aren't having counselling at the moment. I'm due to see someone for something unrelated and accept it might have to come up.

My issue that kept us stuck was the fact I'd not been able to react when he told me and I felt he was blaming me. It was only this week I realised that and we talked a lot. I feel he feels genuine remorse for the pain he's caused me but sometimes I'm pissed off he seems normal.

You have to do what you feel is right for you. Consider the options of having counselling and not doing so. Quite often your gut tells you what you need to do.

Are you scared the counsellor will help you stay?

Or leave?

Maybe your gut just told you.

BarbaraRoberts · 15/06/2016 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbaraRoberts · 15/06/2016 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingtobeawesome · 15/06/2016 20:56

BR - then don't leave. No one says you have too. Just make sure you stay on your terms and make yourself stronger.

BloodontheTracks · 15/06/2016 20:57

Everything is not ok. You are afraid right now of losing him but I am afraid it is too late. You can't will it not to have happened. All now is despair masquerading as politeness. I know you don't want to hear this but you have to get to the point of letting go to actually reclaim it again. Right now you are governed purely by fear.
Everything is not ok. And the sooner you STOP pretending that it is, ironically, the sooner you will actually be able to move on. You are frightened to go through an essential stage of taking everything apart because you know it may not go back together again. But actually right now you are just tightly holding something broken. People do that for years, decades sometimes. And it destroys them inside.

faffalotty · 15/06/2016 21:17

BR feel free to use this thread Flowers

OP posts:
BarbaraRoberts · 15/06/2016 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbaraRoberts · 15/06/2016 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbaraRoberts · 15/06/2016 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JonesTheSteam · 15/06/2016 22:52

(Have been lurking since the beginning)

I think Blood means that it's too late, because the affair has already happened and therefore, your marriage will never be the same, even if you do stay together. (Correct me if I'm wrong, please, Blood).

This doesn't mean it won't work, just that it will be a different relationship than the one you had before; different can mean better though. It does for me.

I think to really face up to it, and to 'stop pretending' that all is ok, you have to talk to someone in RL. I can't tell you the sense of relief I felt telling people what was going on. I told colleagues firstly, (now friends, not just colleagues), as I almost collapsed from the stress of it all in work the first day back in work post D-Day. I told a couple of close friends. I really didn't want to tell my family. I thought my parents wouldn't understand, would blame me, or maybe it would worry them to death. I couldn't have been more wrong. Their support, warmth, love, care and understanding was like having a safety net below me when I was on a high wire. I could let go of all the fear, in the knowledge that, should DH and I not be able to reconcile, my parents would be there to help out if I needed them to.

Telling them and my friends, made the affair real. It made me realise that I had friends who valued me. It made me realise that while DH was telling me I hadn't made him happy for a while, I had friends who loved me and being in my company. Basically he'd changed, and I hadn't. It gave me the strength to realise that I'd be ok on my own, because I'm actually pretty fab! 😉

I'm just over two years on from all this. It's been a long road. It was so hard, so don't ever believe you are weak for staying. That's bollocks! It takes strength to make any decision in the wake of the shit-storm that's just hit you. That doesn't mean you have to stick to that decision if it isn't making you happy.

We did have counselling - with Relate - individually. Not sure it helped other than giving us the tools to open up and talk about our feelings. DH was a bottler-upper. I'm the opposite but tend to get very fiery and lose my temper.

I honestly didn't start to feel I'd made the right decision for approx a year. It took possibly a year or more for me to stop feeling stressed out about it to the point where we'd have an argument about it every so often. It was suddenly like a switch came on. I feel so much calmer about it all. It happened. DH can't undo it. But he worked bloody hard to make amends and now we're strong and very, very happy.

JonesTheSteam · 15/06/2016 22:59

(Sorry, mammoth post, probably a bit waffley, wine may have been taken ) Blush

Goingtobeawesome · 16/06/2016 07:30

I thought Bloods message was awful actually but if it helps others then of course that's what is important.

BarbaraRoberts · 16/06/2016 07:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingtobeawesome · 16/06/2016 07:57

BR - we have also a date next month and have named a cut off date for things. But I do get to carry on after if I need too. That's none negotiable. We've taken one step back last night and I've told DH we feel like we do this morning because of how he was last night.

faffalotty · 16/06/2016 09:46

I can appreciate what blood is saying. I feel that I am currently in a place of letting go and losing the fear (which I've held for a very long time and which has been very bad for my health)

OP posts:
BloodontheTracks · 16/06/2016 10:35

Jones really knows what she's talking about. I would suggest listening to her.

I apologise for my brutality, I'm rather taking that role as it's an easy time to burrow down into torpor that can last years (and no doubt did in my case, projection etc) and sometimes varying voices are useful. Support is wonderful but you would also try and help a friend not fall down a hole you fell down.

This is an upbeat, transformative account of how the couples that survive an affair, can and do www.huffingtonpost.com/esther-perel/an-affair-to-remember-wha_2_b_694982.html

I think she can be a little soft on those who repeatedly cheat and what that means but hey everyone's human.

There are two other models you can click through to there aswell, both of which are a bit less positive and more common outcomes, in my experience.

Good luck losing the fear, faff. All power to you.

Goingtobeawesome · 16/06/2016 12:01

I've reread Blood and Jones' posts and I feel even more worried than before. I don't even know where to start.

I made a snap decision no one would know as I knew I still loved him and wouldn't leave. Circumstances made me have to tell my MIL (thanks to threats from OW) but only one real life friend, a neighbour friend and one mumsnet friend know. How can that be?

faffalotty · 16/06/2016 12:07

Don't panic! The only people who know in my life are you lot on here, 1 RL friend and the counsellor. I'm not telling anyone else until there is something definite to tell. I think it depends how much you normally share with other people - I am a very private person.

OP posts:
BarbaraRoberts · 16/06/2016 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingtobeawesome · 16/06/2016 12:33

I'm not always a private person. Who am I trying to kid, I tell people far too much. But select people but I haven't told my two oldest friends and never would. I want to cry now.