That Sunday Feeling!

[Hushabyemountain98]

Welcome to to my new thread. I hope that all my MN friends from Onwards and Upwards will join me and maybe a few new ones!xx

[Kirk123]

Hi everyone , oh my whilst I host my daughters baby shower today I have missed all your post , faffy yes the citlopram can make you feel sick but stick with it , take it st night I did , for the rest of us remember to beathe, listen and be a bit selfish it is our life journey after all,

[ohdearme1958]

Madame I'm heartfelt sorry this has hsppened. And to be honest I think both of you now need to decide if you're going to make another go of it together, or if it's time to stop living in this limbo and get divorced.

[ohdearme1958]

It turns out that he has been having an affair for eight years with one woman, for three with another and then started up with a third earlier this year. I feel like my whole life has been a lie

Very sadly there are a few of us on the thread who've experienced this and are very well aware of how you are feeling. I felt as if other people had had every part of my life. I didn't even know if I existed to the extent I couldn't see myself in the mirror. It was all just a blurred face, so much so that I went out and had my naturally blonde hair dyed a screaming red. I looked a right mess. But at least I could see myself in the mirror and start to believe I was real. In hindsight I should have just pinched myself or stuck pins in my leg. I would have scared much less children.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad and I hope today is a bit easier on you.

[madamehooch]

oh dear me - yes I know it's going to come to that. However my dad is extremely poorly at the moment and is broken hearted about DH. I've been trying to put a brave face on everything so as not to additonally worry my parents.

I hate the way i've been acting this weekend - all pathetic and needy. I've really let the Sunday Feeling team down 😥

[Hobbitwife001]

You haven't let anyone down, madame, you're under tremendous stress,just take care of yourself first and foremost.
It is what it is, you're still hoping he returns to being the man you knew, I just don't think that's going to happen. He's chosen this path, and it's very cruel to keep you hanging on thinking he will come to his senses.

I thought my ex had experienced some kind of breakdown, he hadn't of course, it was just the guilt over his affair coming out. Iwas at my wits end worrying about mental health, while all the time he was playing away with one of our friends.

[madamehooch]

I've just drafted an email to him but sent it to myself. It was very matter of fact and I found it very therapeutic to write. I think I'm going to wait until after Christmas and make some very hard decisions then

[ohdearme1958]

Madame I'm sorry your dad is so unwell, that he's also so upset about what your husband has done. I suspect though that your parents wont like to see you living in limbo like this and I'm of the opinion that if you decided to divorce your husband they'd be happy you had decided to settle this once and for all.

[WTAFF]

Madame, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. That sounds like a horrible and difficult situation.

I was like you - there was always something which prevented me from ending it. But I wish I'd had the strength to end it earlier.

I cannot believe that your husband thinks it is acceptable to tell you he is going on a date (because that's what it is) and expect you to be ok. That is not the mark of a man who has your best interests at heart.

I'm really sorry if this sounds harsh or upsets you that is genuinely not my intention. I just really want you to stop hurting and I think the only way you are going to be able to do that is if you make the break. Yes, it might hurt a lot worse at first but only by ending it can the healing process begin.

If your husband wants to make a go of it then he needs to commit to that course of action and stop being so cruel to you.

Take care.

[Kirk123]

Madame you have not let us down on here, I want to wrap you in a virtual hug and hold you tight and tell you it's ok , we are allowed to feel like this , like hobbit I thought my husband was mentally ill and I am s nurse and should of know better 😡 He was cruel and still is , just thinking about his own guilt and what he has lost ! Look at hush and listen to her advice they are being cruel to us and we are letting them get away with it , your father needs his daughter , try and go no contact with your dh whilst you look after your father or you will always remember that your dh dominated this time that was for your father ❤️ after Christmas or before whenever you are ready we will all be your Mumsnet army standing by your side Madame xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[madamehooch]

Thank you xxxxxx

[TheTapir]

Madam, my husband was also diagnosed with depression and left home in June to sort his head out, swore blind that there was no one else, kept saying that he thought we could work things out, took me on a date on Halloween, the 20th Anniversary of when we met. And then I found out about the cheating. I would have staked my life on him not cheating on me but I was so very wrong.

I sent off my divorce papers last week, as soon as I could after I'd found out. I genuinely think that he was dithering over whether he was going to come back or not but that decision is no longer his.


I actually feel lots brighter this morning. Whilst violence is not the best idea, I haven't cried once today and although it's only lunchtime, and might change any minute, it's definitely a step forward for me. He was so pathetic and clearly feeling sorry for himself yesterday that it made me feel much stronger.

I hope every one has better days today too xx

[Hushabyemountain98]

Good evening all.
I have not posted a lot over the last week.
I need to be honest as I have made some great friends on my thread. I do not feel I can give advice at the moment as I am trying to see if I can take my dh back after all the pain and hurt of the last year.
I know a lot of you will think I am totally mad but I cannot help the way I feel.
xx

[Hobbitwife001]

I wish you well, hush my love, it's not a decision made lightly I'm sure.
I couldn't forgive or forget such a betrayal tbh, but that's me, I hope he treats you with the kindness and respect you deserve, because you DO deserve nothing less. Xx

[WTAFF]

Oh Hush. Of course it's your decision but you must make sure it's the right one.

How difficult for you.

[ohdearme1958]

Hush do what you have to do but please keep in mind this is not the first time this has happened and neither will it be the last.

[Kirk123]

Hush , please please make sure you this is the right thing for you all , your boys and you have been through so much pain , is he sick of the ow now ? Had his fun , or realises he had lost the best thing ever ? Don't worry about this thread , do you what you think is best for you , I hope and pray you have the inner strength to make the decision that feels right , we have your back always ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[madamehooch]

Hush. You have to do what is right for you. It is possible to live a happy life together after infidelity but it is a hard path that both of you must be committed to. The only thing I would say is that the events of this weekend have taken me right back to the start of the whole painful process. I don't know if I have the strength to go through it all again. I would hate for you to be back here again xxxx

[Hushabyemountain98]

Thank you everyone for all your kindness and understanding as always.
I have not decided to go back yet and it is not going to be a quick decision.
I have my Counsellor this morning which continues to help.
I just need to step back for a while.
I will be thinking of you all.
Take care.
xx

[ohdearme1958]

Husha we spoke of this before - could you perhaps discuss with your counsellor the fact you are adopted. I've long been of the opinion there's a connection between you being put up for adoption in the first place, and the dynamics of your life with your husband.

I hope things all work out for you.

[madamehooch]

I'm sure I speak for everyone else when I say that we all wish one of the nicest ever mumsnetters nothing but good things. We will still be here to celebrate the happy times and hold your hand during dark days. Whatever path you choose, you will not be judged as this has been the ethos of your threads throughout the year.

To everyone else, I have found this thread a bit of a lifeline and am loathe to see us scattered to harsher threads. Shall we continue posting here or would Hush prefer if we started a new thread?

[ohdearme1958]

Maybe post here so that if Husha ever comes back she can just pick up posting again even by replying to someone here.

I think it would make it easier for her to be able to just join in rather than start s new thread or resurrect an old one.

[Kirk123]

My opinion which may take the pressure off hush is to start another thread ? Trouble is I don't know how this is done but happy if someone wants to do it , we can pm hush the thread link , thinking of names ?? I suggest going on a bear hunt lol as we can't get over it or under it just through it 😢

[madamehooch]

I've just started a new thread using the title you suggest Kirk 😁

[Kirk123]

Excellent thank you can you put the thread on here Madame so people can use it including me who is rubbish at IT lol x

[madamehooch]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2780202-Going-on-a-Bear-Hunt-were-going-to-get-through-it