That Sunday Feeling!

[Hushabyemountain98]

Welcome to to my new thread. I hope that all my MN friends from Onwards and Upwards will join me and maybe a few new ones!xx

Hi Bibbidee,
I am sorry to hear about how you are feeling.
I really think that this happening to us really makes us feel sick both mentally and physically.
My Counsellor told me that I was totally traumatized.
It is trauma, shock, bereavement and grief.
I didn't want to eat or drink or speak to anyone. I couldn't sleep either.
All I wanted to do was cry.It is only just over a month since your husband left. I am at 9 months now and I still have my moments.
All the ladies on here are at different stages and they have all felt the pain you are feeling.
I know you do not believe me but you will start to feel better but it takes time. You just need to take each day at a time or even a few hours to start with.
Try to talk to your friends and family as much as you can and post on here.
Even start your own thread . That can be good as MNetters will just post about your situation. Having said that you are welcome to stay on here as long as you like.
I had dogs do I had to walk them whether I wanted to or not. Even though I used to walk them and cry at the same time!
It might not seem like it but crying is a good thing as the emotions have to come out.
I am afraid there is no quick fix for this but you will get through it.
Take care xx

Hello everyone. I hope you're all doing as well as you can? How are you Hush?

I've got my first counselling session on Monday, so hopefully I can start working my way back to normality.

Bibbidee - I'm sorry this has happened to you. I think Hush has given you some excellent advice. Just take your time and try to get through one day at a time.

Have a good weekend. Xx

Hello WTAFF.
Thank you for your message. I am okay. My heart has kicked off twice in the last week as I have got stressed over various things.
I am still missing my old dog.
I hope your first counselling session goes well and that you find it really helps. I have mine on Monday. I really need to see her this week.
Trying to get some sorting out done to keep my mind occupied.
Anything to stop the constant chatter going on in my head!
I sound a right nutter!😜
Have a good weekend xx

hi everyone, bibbidee, I was prescribed beta blockers after I had my first panic attack in work and nearly fell off a ladder. They did help me a great deal, and stopped the constant "near the edge" feeling and chatter in my head. I also slept a little easier.
I couldn't take anti-depressants as they just made me sick. It does sound as if there may be physical element to your feeling so unwell, I hope they get that sorted out soon for you.

Otherwise, it's just keep on keeping on, until you can cope a bit better, and you will I promise you, it just takes time, and I know you just want to fast forward through until you're at the end of the tunnel, we all wish you well, and the counselling is a big step forward.

Hi everyone missed you all , welcome bibbidee , guess what yes just back from malta for 5 days with a friend , 1 more holiday in October celebrating my 50th then back to real life! So sorry bibbbidee my heart aches for you , I am 18 months down the line trying to reduce my antidepressants but still can't sleep , I have put weight on as seem to eat comfort foods the same as when my father left my mother when I was 16, my ds had a heart to heart with ex last week and I was there he promised he would leave ow to start building back his relationship with ds and dd who is due a baby in 9 weeks , yes you have guessed it he is still with her , I hate him gone full no contact again ! I am still a mad old mess at 50 , I wish I could magic us all better 😢

Hi Kirk,

Good to hear from you. Welcome back.
I hope you enjoyed it in Malta. I went there about 20 years ago and really like it.
Where are you off to next?
I am sorry that your ex is still breaking his promises. He will be the loser in the end.
I hope all goes well for your daughter when the time comes. Are you excited? What will you be? Grandma, Granny , Nan, Nana?
I hope that all my MN friends have a bearable Sunday. Thinking of you all 😘 xx

Hi hush off to Lourdes as the nurse with 10 sick on the jumbulance for 10 days so it's a pilgrimage really , I went last year when I couldn't even lift my head up it helped me so much , this year I am slightly better , well calmer at least lol !!! I am just so so lonely hush , ds back at uni , I don't have empty nest I have a broken smashed to pieces heart and I need to get better ASAP ! Hope you are ok hush in rl , thanks for keeping your thread close to our hearts ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Sorry Kirk that I didn't get back to you yesterday.
I hope the trip to Lourdes goes well.
I am sorry that you are feeling so lonely.
It is a terrible feeling.
Soon you will have a Grandchild. That will warm your heart and mind❤️
It would be do good if there was some magic that could fix this for us all.
I hope you have a good day xx

Good morning WTAFF.
Just a quick message to say that I hope your counselling session goes well today.
Thinking of you xx

Thanks Hush. I'm just back from my first session and feel emotionally drained!

We didn't even scratch the surface of my issues. It has given me an awful lot to think about though until my next session.

How are you doimg? Xx

Feeling emotionally drained after counselling is normal WTAFF.
I really hope you found it helpful.
I went to mine this morning.
It made me feel better to get things off my mind.
I am okay thanks.
I hope you have a nice evening xx

Good morning all.
Trying to muster up the enthusiasm to get my day started.
Will have to shortly as have to take my son to the station.
How are we all today?
I have to catch up with the housework I didn't do yesterday.
It is dull outside at the moment but I think it is going to brighten up.

I hope everyone has a good day?

Take care xx

I am low hush , had a good today yesterday then driving home at 6pm and passed them both in the car on a bridge in my little village , I came home and cried all night , why can they just blatantly show off , he needs to move or I will have too 😢

So sorry to hear that you are low Kirk.
It feels awful seeing the man you loved for all those years with another woman especially so near to home.
Maybe you have to try and change your mindset but I know that is easier said than done.
I don't think this man is worth all your tears.
What can you do to take you mind off this for a while?
Can you go out with a friend for coffee and a chat?
Thinking of you xx💐❤️

I'm sorry you are upset, Kirk, I'm in the same situation, but I'm two years on from his leaving now, and all I can say is, it does get better, still hard, but bearable iyswim.
These men detach themselves from their families and seem to have no thought for our feelings because that makes it easier for them to justify their actions. After all, don't they deserve to be "happy?"

My ex thought I should have moved on two weeks after he had left, he then had his 50th birthday party in the village pub arranged by his new gf, < who was also a friend of mine>
They have no filter, no understanding of the hurt they cause, because they can't acknowledge our pain is caused by their behaviour.

Hush I have come into work and feel better today , hobbit how did you cope with all that you must have been heartbroken 💔 You are right both of you he doesn't deserve my teArs , my son said I will make him move mum as there has to be consequences , he is hurting so much too and ex took ow kids out in school holidays to the zoo , fair etc ! My ds was 💔

What a horrible man to affect your son so badly, it's hard enough when they use their pathetic excuses on us, it makes my blood boil when the children are hurt as collateral damage.

My sons were young men so things were not as bad re contact etc, they could facilitate their own, mostly they chose not to have contact. In fact they haven't seen their father for 10 months, even though he lives 5 minutes away with the OW and her 18 year old son.
It seems very odd he sees her son every day, and never sees his own...

And the answer is I coped because I had too, kirk my lovely, after all, what option is there? You just keep on going, as we all have to do, albeit with help from friends, family, counsellors, and some chemical intervention when needed.
You have to do the hard yards, and then one day, it's not so hard anymore, in fact, in some cases, including mine, it's a lot better. Different than I imagined my future to be, but, I'm happy.

Hi Kirk,
I am glad you feel better today.
I don't know how these men can not only treat their wives badly but their sons and daughters too.
Especially when the OW has children and they seem to do lots with them.
Hobbit is so good at the way she puts things over.
Just hope that life becomes sweeter for us all xxx

Hi hobbit my ds is 21 too so he can facilitate his own too , but ex is making no effort and I think my ds has had enough and they were so close not a feather between them , it's so strange , hush I agree hobbit is amazing and let's hope we all on here can there too , I love the support I get from you on this thread , as I don't feel as silly when I share and you support that by hurting his kidults it's just cruel , it's breaking my heart. Good news tomorrow I am having my dd dog until next Monday , she will be good company 🐶❤️

Good morning all.
I've had a little holiday by the sea and am all windswept and cheerful!
Glad to see that everyone is KOKO. I unexpectedly bumped into my ex the other day (3 years on now) and the OW. And I looked at him and felt... nothing. Just thought that he looked a bit older and battered. And I walked on and just remembered all the stresses and let downs and frustrations that was our relationship and felt suddenly very peaceful.
As Hobbit says, it takes time and your future is different - but likely to be much better.
xx

Thank you Louise , you and hobbit are my inspirations as at 50 I have another chapter to live , I have been ready a book the journey from abandonment , and I think I am grieving for the loss of my former life and i will get past this stage , I have to as I need to heal 💔

Been feeling stronger since Sunday. I realised that I'm ace and he's a nob! Baby steps.

Great news bibbi ❤️

Troo fax, bibbidee my love, he is the nobbiest nob in the nob shop!
It will get better, I promise you all, xx

I can look at my ex now, and think, "meh, he's nobody to get upset about, " although I still wish plagues of boils down on the pair of them for the lies and the deceitful behaviour. I don't miss the man, my sons are happier without his critical moodiness in the house, I never felt "enough " in the last few years, and who needs that? I feel free...