That Sunday Feeling!

[Hushabyemountain98]

Welcome to to my new thread. I hope that all my MN friends from Onwards and Upwards will join me and maybe a few new ones!xx

Thank you tartan for your kindness.
I have started crying already!
Have to try and get my day started.

Take care xx

Thinking of you today Hush. Xx

Thank you WTAFF xx

I hope you're doing ok Hush. You come back when you're ready.

Take care. Xx

Dear Hush,
No wise words - you did a very unselfish thing today. We are all thinking of you. xx

Thank you WTAFF and louisa.
It was so hard. He was such a loyal friend for over 14 years.
I am still really upset.
The vet was really kind and it helped having my son with me.
Goodnight xxx

I'm so sorry my love, you did the very best for him, xx

Thank you Hobbit.
I hope I did the very best for him!
Feeling drained tonight.
Evie is lost too!
xxx

Good morning all.
I hope you are all okay.
Hoping that tartan, madame and louisa are okay after the awful night weather wise?
I had another sad day yesterday.
I just kept crying!
My young dog was lost yesterday without her friend.
Better go and get sorted to take her out.
I hope you all have a good day?
Xxx

Good morning Hush.

I hear the weather has been awful. I hope everybody is safe and sound.

I bet you had a difficult day yesterday. A dog to me is a family member and to lose them is a bereavement. I'm so sorry for your loss and your sadness.

Xx

Good morning WTAFF.
Thank you for your kind message.
You are right a dog is a member of the family.
It is a bereavement. I cannot believe he has gone.
Everyone has been so kind to me though!

I hope you are having a good holiday?
Enjoy your day.
xxx

Good evening Hush.
I hope that your day has been as OK as is possible? I think that a loss like this brings up all our other feelings of loss and sadness.
Do take care and perhaps treat yourself in some way this weekend? You will get through this - you will know from your past losses that you have the resilience to cope - but I know that the death of your lovely old dog will be a massive blow.
I have spent my day finishing my decorating and throwing things out. Did a boot sale earlier in the week , trip to the tip accomplished and the paintwork looks nice and clean. I didn't fall off the ladder as I hung the new curtains and I await the new stair carpet being laid on Monday. The house is nearly as I want it! Then the garden needs its autumn planting and then I can snuggle up for the winter .

Sending you good vibes for the weekend. xxx

Good evening louisa,
Thank you for your kind message.
I think you are right. It does bring up other feelings of loss and sadness.
I have cried and cried.
I really miss him and my young dog is lost too.
I am not sure what I would treat myself to?
You have been busy. I hope that you are pleased with everything when it is finished. So you can snuggle up for the winter.
I have a lot to do in this house. I do not know whether it is an age thing or just my situation but I do not settle or stick to doing anything!
Have a good weekend xxx

Good morning Hush
Re a treat: a good book, coffee out, a scented candle, , and , , a nice relaxing bath, a hair do, a manicure, etc etc.

Re not sticking / settling at things - I don't think it's age - I think you've been traumatised by the horrible situation you're in. When I have been really upset I just set myself a small task to achieve 'today I am going to clear out all the stuff under the bed' - and I set aside an hour to go and do that! Then I have permission to chill afterwards but sometimes I find that I don't stop, I actually carry on and have sorted out other things in the room etc etc. It makes me feel so much better and I get a sense of 'moving on'.
Remember; how do you eat an elephant? In small bites! (so hope you're not a vegetarian).
xx

Good Afternoon louisa,

I will treat myself to something nice over the weekend.
Thank you for your suggestions.
My Counsellor says that I am traumatised by my situation.
I will set myself some small tasks and try to stick to them.
Hopefully it will help me to move on.
At the moment he is still controlling my life from a distance.
Each time I think he is showing a little kindness he drops something awful on me. Particularly hard after what I have been through this week.
I don't think I fancy elephant for dinner!!
I hope you are having a good day?
xxx

Hush,
That's what abusers do to keep you 'in their power'. No contact is the only way to go. It's very hard as you have to overcome that urge to hear / see him, but when you've been in an abusive relationship for as long as you have, you need to rebuild your own confidence and he is determined to undermine that. It's what he's done during your relationship and he's not stopping as he leaves you.
It's scary but if you look at this board, there are so many women who have successfully got out of abusive relationships and have regained their confidence and a satisfying life. I know you can do it!

You can do it hush, louisa is absolutely spot on here with her support and advice. Just because your ex says something, that doesn't make it the case.
You have had a stressful week, with all the worry about your dog, the last thing you need is for Mr SelfImportant to stick his oar in and tell you what you should be doing.

Thank you louisa and Hobbit.
It is scary but I have to try and do it. Plenty have done it before me and many will do it in the future.
It has been a terribly hard week.
Hopefully things can only get better!xx

Hush I'm sorry that it's so hard at the moment. I hope that your younger dog helps lift your spirits a little. I think once you've had a dog you are lost without them and at least you still have to keep to some kind of routine at the moment for the youngster. I think routine helps?

I've just got back from dropping my daughter off at university - ready for fresher's week. I held it together until I got in the lift to leave the halls of residence and then I cried. I cried most of the way home and I'm crying now. I don't know what I'd have done without her over the last four and a half months and I'm not sure how I'll cope now she's gone.

I saw my counsellor in the week and she thinks I'm too hard on myself. She said it's all been a massive shock and it's like a bereavement. It will take time to get over. I just can't seem to move past the shock at what he's done and the unfairness of it all. He's living in easy street at his mom and dads, no housework, no gardening to keep on top of. No dog to look after, no money to find to help out my daughter at university. He's all loved up and I'm so lonely most of the time. I still can't seem to get my head round how he can move on so quickly and pretend I never existed.

Louisa you sound do contented in your home now that all of the work is nearly done. I do wish that my house would sell so I could have a new house to focus on.

Louisa is also right about small tasks. I find that even something silly like replacing his DVD's on the bookshelf with my cookbooks lifts my spirits for a while. I also think I'll just do that one thing (whatever that is) and then I can sit down. So I clean the living room, then have a coffee and a sit down. I did say to my counsellor that I'm definitely a bit more relaxed about the housework now. It all still gets done but not in such a rush. I think I was becoming obsessive about it over the last few years. I think somewhere in my head I knew things weren't right and I thought a lovely, clean home would make us happy. But it didn't!

Hope everyone else is ok - I'm going to have a glass of wine shortly and watch one of the many programme I have recorded and haven't got round to watching x

Good evening ThankGod,
I think it helps that I still have my young dog but it is still hard.

I know it is hard but you will cope. Has your daughter gone far away to Uni?
When my eldest went I was here without my dh under different circumstances and I still had my youngest. I felt as though I had had my arm chopped off. Every time I went in his room for the first week or so I cried. When I went to visit him it took some time before I could leave him without crying. When my youngest went it wasn't easy either!
I am sorry that you are crying and there is not a lot I can say to make you feel better. Only that it will get easier. Just another thing made much harder because of these selfish men.
Your counsellor seems to be telling you the same as mine has told me. These men can move on really easily. We are just the collateral damage. I am sure there are women that do the same! I am just hoping that we will come off on top in the end.
I am going to try to get into sorting his things out and boxing them up. There is still so much here.
I hope you are having a large glass of wine and that you have found something to watch to keep your mind from wandering.
Thinking of you. Take care xx

Oh hush , so so sorry I have been on a course this week , you must feel so so sad and upset , no one can take your memories away , your baby boy had a fantastic family. Love and prays 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Thank you Kirk for your kind message. I do feel sad and upset. No one can take my memories away. He was a super dog.
A real member of the family.

I hope your course went well.

Have a good Sunday xxx

Good morning all.

Have woken up to a really dull day!
I hope it brightens up later.
I had a really disturbed night and I woke up this morning feeling I had been hit by a sledgehammer. Everything came flooding back. I have my counsellor this afternoon so at least I can air my feelings!
I hope you all had a reasonable Sunday.
I did not do a lot apart from cooking and getting my son ready to go off again.
How are you ThankGod? Did you manage to keep your mind occupied yesterday? I am thinking of you.
Are you still away WTAFF? I hope you are having a good time if you are?
I hope you got some more of your house sorted louisa? I hope you are happy with the result of all your hard work. I am sure you will be.
I hope that Pisco, Hobbit, Kirk, madame and tartan are okay and that you all have a good week.
I better get sorted and take my dog for a walk.
Bye for now xx

Hi Hush. I got back yesterday and straight back to work today. I feel so jet lagged but had an amazing time.

I had quite a lot of time to think whilst I was away and I've booked in to see a counsellor as I think I would benefit from talking about some stuff.

How are you doing? I bet these past few days have been difficult. Xx

Hush hope it went well at counsellor , I am ready to move on in about 2020 ! Trouble is I am liking this nice single do what you want life 🙈