That Sunday Feeling!

[Hushabyemountain98]

Welcome to to my new thread. I hope that all my MN friends from Onwards and Upwards will join me and maybe a few new ones!xx

Oh Kirk that is such a shame!
Where are you going as I think predictive text must have reared its ugly head again?
I really hope you all have a great time. Better than sitting at home feeling miserable!
I have never been on a cruise as I am not good on the ferry but a cruise ship is probably totally different.
I hope you board soon.
Have a good one xx

Norway. Really envious!xx

Hello everyone!

I'm in the Lakes again. It's so busy here. I've been to a chilli festival in Penrith this morning.

Hush, it's awful when things like that happen. You are still reeling from one thing and then another thing happens. Awful. for you.

Pisco, I'm afraid I too have lapsed horribly with my PT. I need to get going again but in off on holiday in two weeks so can't work miracles!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

Xx

Hello WTAFF.
Enjoy your time in the Lakes. Sorry it is so busy again.
The chilli festival sounds good. Were there plenty of things to try?

Thank you. I am a real misery today. I just feel so sad! My son said ' What's up with you now?' What do you say? Signing a piece of paper to start the ball rolling to end your marriage doesn't feel very good! Especially as it is not what I wanted!

I am not going far today. I may go into my neighbours later for a glass of prosecco and to watch X factor!

Tomorrow I am taking my youngest to get some clothes for his new job.

I have just been brushing my young dog as she is a mess at the moment. My old dog is a mess too but brushing hurts his poor skin!

Oh well better go and get the bread out of the oven.

Enjoy your time in the Lakes xx

Gah Hush! It's the what's wrong with you NOW ?"isn't it?
I think (quite rightly) our children have a lot invested in us being OK. They feel a bit despairing when we're unhappy as they don't know what to do - hence their exasperation.
I've become immune to (at times) being treated as if I'm a bit -a lot- dense. You are totally entitled to your feelings and signing the the actual paperwork is a biggie.

Thanks louisa,

I am glad I am not alone.
I try to keep going but sometimes it just gets to you!
I am still the Mum that does everything I possible can for both my sons and for everyone else for that matter! My Counsellor says that I am a very kind person!

It was a biggie signing the paperwork. I also feel that I am just going to free him to be with her. Oh no here come the tears again! The feelings of loneliness, betrayal and abandonment just get to me at times!
I signed the application straight away and my son posted them for me. I felt if I sat and thought about it for too long I wouldn't be able to sign.

I am sat in the garden with my laptop and a glass of wine as I am not on taxi duty tonight! I was editing photos of my neighbours daughters party last weekend.

I hope you have a nice evening xx

Hush,
Of course the loss will get to you - there's no shame in that.
Of course, there is another way of looking at signing those papers - you're freeing yourself of a cheating, lying scumbag whose treatment of you has eroded your self confidence and self belief.
Maybe it's time for a bit of a celebration and a new direction?
xxxxx

Thank you louisa,
That is another way to look at it.
I even had a little chuckle when I read it!

I am feeling a little worse for wear this morning after having a few drinks in my neighbours last night. Still it was a nice evening.

I hope you have a nice relaxing Sunday!xx

.

.

Hush sorry to hear that you are upset - even though you know it is going to happen actually receiving the paperwork must be hard. I've got that to come.
Hope everyone else is ok and enjoying the long weekend.
I've not long got back from visiting my brother who lives in Devon. It was lovely to get away but everywhere I looked were couples which just seemed to bring home to me what had happened. I really thought I was doing ok a few weeks ago but now I just want to cry all the time. A young man on the train helped me with my suitcase and I nearly cried. I just thought this is my life now. Traveling on my own, relying on the kindness of strangers to help with luggage etc.
He text me Thursday to tell me his Nan had died and to ask when he could come round to collect some of his clothes that he left here for the funeral. I said I was away so Sunday evening would be the earliest time. He then said it would have to be after work on Tuesday - which means he's probably away again this weekend. I've bagged everything else up that he'd left here and will leave it outside for him on Tuesday. It's so hard. It's been 4 months now and that seems so long and yet so short a time.
I never really read the relationship board much until this happened and now I read it most days and I see how often this happens to others. I sometimes read the advice given to 'move on' and the best revenge is to live a happy and fulfilling life etc and I think "you just don't understand how the betrayal eats away at you".

Hello ThankGod sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday.
I am glad that you got to Devon to see your brother. I am sorry that it upset you travelling on your own. As we all say on here this is how it goes. Little things or memories play with our emotions and this is not what we wanted.
It is so unfair but what choice do we have? We have to try and make the best of our situations. It is so hard though and I really feel for you. I had a bad night last night turning everything over in my head.
Well done for bagging all your dh stuff up for him to collect from outside. That is very brave!
I do not think that we are really at the point of moving on yet! We just have to do the best we can from day to day at the moment! The betrayal does eat away at you. I feel overwhelmed by it all at the moment. Betrayal, abandonment, fear, grief, loneliness and inadequacy!
Well on that happy note I will finish off for now.
Please take care xx

Well Mumsnet friends this is couple envy torture on this cruise , everyone lovey dovey sitting on tables with them whilst they show off their years of marital bliss 😢 I am ashamed my is with ow taking her out , me I am single 50 and trying to move on , which is like pushing treacle up a hill at the moment . I just keep breathing taking s day at a time !

Sorry you are feeling rather alone on your cruise Kirk.
They may look all lovey dovey but who knows what is really going on!
Please do not be ashamed as this is not what you wanted. He is the one in the wrong. I know that doesn't help you at the moment but you are too good for him!
Just breathe and take one day at a time and try to enjoy the cruise.
xxx

Kirk,
They may look lovey- dovey but, he has bad breath, farts in bed, tells the same story over and over, eyes up other women and spends his spare time on dating sites
As Hush says, who knows what's really going on.
There's a trick to being alone and content - not really sure what it is but something about looking for pleasure in the small things and appreciating little acts of friendship / kindness?
xxx

Thank you louisa.
You made me laugh again.
Things are not always what they seem!
People have been so kind to me since this happened to me.
Apart from the person who was supposed to care!
I also get go do things with others that I did not do before.
I really hope that Kirk enjoys her cruise.
I hope you have had a good long weekend louisa?
xx

Hush and Louisa , just got wifi again And you both are so right ,how could I ever dream of being with him again with no trust , his now cruel ways, his attitude towards me is hurtful , I have to remember when I get these alone feelings that I have a nice clean bed all the time , my own tv , can cook whatever whenever I want too and do what I want too , I will ignore thinking it should of been me ! He was always looking for someone else I was never enough and he left me out of his own choice, I can't control it and like you said hush I didn't ask for it , maybe someone has done me a favour ??? I must be patient and enjoy being me , the new authetic me ❤️ Lots of love friends xxxx

Hi Kirk,

Good to hear from you.
I hope you are enjoying the cruise?
I hope the food and drink is good?
As you say being on our own does come with some advantages.
Our men would never be able to stay faithful and that is no way for us to live, eventhough it is still really hard to accept!
We must deserve so much more than them.
Onwards and Upwards!xxx

Hi all. There seems to be an air of positivity today which is good. I think one way of assessing how we are doing is to see how long it takes for us to recover from the bad days. I had a bad couple of days as it was my wedding anniversary on Sunday and was struggling with jet lag. In my typical virtual reality world, my husband picked us up from the airport, cooked breakfast and tea and disappeared back to his man cave! Even though I knew there wouldn't be a card or flowers, I was still upset that there wasn't. Was a bit teary this morning but have been busy tidying and have made plans for later this week. How long things can stay like this I do not know but I don't want to get divorced or sell my house so why should I make these suggestions and give him an easy way out to my detriment? Can't work out whether I'm just burying my head in the sand or whether i'm best just keeping the status quo whilst I begin to heal. It's a vicious circle isn't it?

Hi madame.
Sorry that you had a bad couple of days with your wedding anniversary and struggling with jet lag! Not a good combination!
I hope the jet lag wears off properly soon.
You have to do what you feel is right for you. This is not what you wanted either.
I better go and tidy up before Mums taxi service starts again!
Have a nice evening xx

Good afternoon all.
I hope you are doing okay?
How is the jet lag madame? I hope you are getting back to your normal time zone?
How are you Kirk? Have you been ashore yet?
I hope you enjoyed it in the Lake District WTAFF? Are you back home again now?
How are you ThankGod? Did your dh come for his stuff? I hope you did not have to see him?
I hope that Pisco and Tartan are both well. Are you up to anything nice?
Anymore decorating to do louisa? I hope you are okay?
I have been in a bit of a state today. Worrying about everything. More confirmation from my Solicitor. This is not what I wanted. I do not have an alternative though. Then I had a hospital appointment. So not a great day. Maybe tomorrow will be better?
Have a nice evening xx

Hello Hush. Yes my husband came round yesterday and collected his stuff. Three black bin bags worth. That's all of the clothes that was left in the house now plus some DVD's and his post from the last month. I've asked him twice now to change his address but he still hasn't. So from now on any post that comes is going straight back into the post box marked not at this address. He's obviously much too busy with all of his weekends away etc to find the time!!
I hope everything went ok at the hospital?
I was hoping to get the house sold by now but no joy. The plan was sell the house, move, then start divorce proceedings but I may have to bite the bullet and get the ball rolling.

Hello ThankGod.
I am glad that your husband has collected his stuff.
I get fed up with mail still coming here too!
Plus I still have loads and loads of my dh's stuff here!

The hospital was fine thanks!

Sorry that you have not managed to sell the house yet. I hope it happens for you soon. I am dreading all that but have to deal with the Divorce first.
Felt I was going under again this morning!

Enjoy your evening xx

Evening all.

Hush - so sorry to hear that you're feeling down - I know it's a difficult time. Have you thought of clearing his things out? Bin bags? It's your living space and maybe a big clear out (even if it's all put into one room) would help you clear your head a bit as well?
I know that it small steps - but it's about taking back control rather than always having to react to events? When our lives take a 'wrong turn' our main option (I think) is to try to ensure that we take some control over what happens as far as is possible? If it's not chucking out his crap, then maybe in some other way? You have great strengths which WILL see you through this xxx

Good evening louisa,

Thank you for your message.
I really need to start getting into sorting again.
I gave up when I moved my son back from Uni.
My upstairs is totally overloaded with 'stuff'.
I just think that I will end up with even more mess if I put all his things in bin bags!
But I do need to clear lots of things.
I have to get busy on eBay as you suggested before!

I am glad that you have confidence in me!
Many thanks once again. Take care xx

Hello Hush. I'm sorry that you feel so down. Chin up lovely. We're all here for you. Good night x

Thank you Pisco. That means a lot. I hope you slept well?
xx