Hello all. Sorry I haven't posted in a long while. I have been keeping up with all of your progress though and I do think that you sound as if you're getting a bit stronger Hush :)
As for me, well my life continues to be a bit Twilight Zone. My husband is still living away and does visit regularly but still seems no closer to coming home for good. Aside from the major issue of walking out on us, he treats us well. He still pays the mortgage and the bills and has even paid for a holiday for myself and DD. This is his way of dealing with the guilt of not being able to give us the affection we both need.
I am getting on with life though. I'm going back to full time hours next month and I am trying to go out and see friends old and new. I've bought new bedding and have rearranged some furniture. My weekly planner does not take into account whether he is coming round or not.
However I still continue to feel a permanent sense of sadness. I have to get up as soon as I wake up in the morning to let the shower wash away the greyness I feel first thing. I can't see that going away any time soon.
I know things can't stay like this forever but I don't want to call time on my marriage. I've tried distancing myself and playing it cool but that's not me. However I haven't asked him to come home for a long time.
Whatever the books and well-meaning people may say, you have to deal with your situation in the way that's best for you. I do feel myself getting stronger although I am lucky that I haven't had the heartache of dealing with another woman or losing my home. I'm sure that's all to come though.
On a lighter note, my DD has nearly finished her GCSE'S and is still alive and my dog can join the naughty canine brigade as he cocked his leg twice on someone's football bag!
Hope you all have something pleasant planned for this evening.