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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

That Sunday Feeling!

876 replies

Hushabyemountain98 · 24/05/2016 08:13

Welcome to to my new thread. I hope that all my MN friends from Onwards and Upwards will join me and maybe a few new ones!xx

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Hushabyemountain98 · 10/06/2016 12:48

Hi Kirk,

I am glad that the thread really helps you and helps you focus.
Yes it would be good for us all to fly off and meet up with Tattie!
When it is a bit cooler of course!

Have a good day Kirk and just remember you are far too good for him. It's his loss!
xx❤️💐☀️👯

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ThankGodItsThursday · 10/06/2016 12:53

It's lunch so I'm doing a quick post.
It's a long story but the person who was my closest friend I fell out with a few months after our wedding. She is now my Sister in Law and so it wouldn't really be possible to rekindle that friendship.
I'm based in the West Midlands if anyone is localish.
No magnum today and lunch isn't great but at least there are chocolates on our tables.

Hushabyemountain98 · 10/06/2016 13:46

Hi ThankGod.
I can understand why that would be awkward.
Any others?
Maybe someone on here will be from the West Midlands?
Sorry lunch isn't great but at least there is chocolate!
Take care xx

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PiscoSour66 · 10/06/2016 21:24

It's Bailey's time! X

ThankGodItsThursday · 10/06/2016 21:47

Wine o'clock here Grin

PiscoSour66 · 10/06/2016 22:12

Good work ThankGod! Are you ok? I've been thinking about what you have written about. It is so difficult for you. Other than joining clubs I don't know what to suggest at the moment. If it wasn't for playgroups and the school playground I would be very nearly in the same position, and even that was initially very hard work. Hang on in there lovely, we really don't know what's around the corner. I'm hoping good things xxx

Hushabyemountain98 · 10/06/2016 22:35

Sorry Pisco I am behind the curve. I have poured one now.
Cheers to you and ThankGod.
Here's to better times to come for all of us xx

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PiscoSour66 · 10/06/2016 22:42

I'll raise my glass to that. Skol! X

PiscoSour66 · 10/06/2016 23:46

Good night all xxx

Hushabyemountain98 · 11/06/2016 07:59

Good morning all.
We have rain today!
I hope that you will all have a good day.
I know that most of us on here find weekends particularly hard.
I am going to try to keep busy!
Tomorrow I am moving some more of my sons belongings home.
Not sure what I am doing today apart from walking the dogs in the rain!
Have a good one!🌧

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PiscoSour66 · 11/06/2016 09:21

Good morning all. It's stopped raining here, so I'm planning to plant the flowers I've grown now the ground has softened up. And watching the football later. X

ThankGodItsThursday · 11/06/2016 10:01

Morning. It's overcast here with some rain due.
I've just done the shopping and we've had croissants for breakfast. Got to do some cleaning and my daughters got revision to do.
Shall pop to the library later and that's about the sum of my plans.
We've all said it before weekends are the worse. Yet they used to be what we all looked forward to. Today isn't too bad.... it's Sundays I really don't like now.
Oh got to walk the dog as well.

Hushabyemountain98 · 11/06/2016 10:41

Hi Pisco.
Glad it has stopped raining your end. It is still a bit damp here!
I have walked the dogs.
Now I am watching a bit of The Trooping of the Colour on TV with a cup of coffee.
Will get around to doing the usual chores!
I hope the plants go in okay now the ground has softened up a bit.
Enjoy the football later xx

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Hushabyemountain98 · 11/06/2016 10:46

Morning ThankGod.
I hope the weather improves for you.
Croissants sound good for breakfast.
I cannot remember the last time I went to the Library. It must be about 5 years ago! I used to go a lot.
I know what you mean about Sunday's.
I hope you enjoy walking the dog.
My youngest dog misbehaved as usual!
Enjoy your day xx

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madamehooch · 11/06/2016 16:06

Hello all. Sorry I haven't posted in a long while. I have been keeping up with all of your progress though and I do think that you sound as if you're getting a bit stronger Hush :)

As for me, well my life continues to be a bit Twilight Zone. My husband is still living away and does visit regularly but still seems no closer to coming home for good. Aside from the major issue of walking out on us, he treats us well. He still pays the mortgage and the bills and has even paid for a holiday for myself and DD. This is his way of dealing with the guilt of not being able to give us the affection we both need.

I am getting on with life though. I'm going back to full time hours next month and I am trying to go out and see friends old and new. I've bought new bedding and have rearranged some furniture. My weekly planner does not take into account whether he is coming round or not.

However I still continue to feel a permanent sense of sadness. I have to get up as soon as I wake up in the morning to let the shower wash away the greyness I feel first thing. I can't see that going away any time soon.

I know things can't stay like this forever but I don't want to call time on my marriage. I've tried distancing myself and playing it cool but that's not me. However I haven't asked him to come home for a long time.

Whatever the books and well-meaning people may say, you have to deal with your situation in the way that's best for you. I do feel myself getting stronger although I am lucky that I haven't had the heartache of dealing with another woman or losing my home. I'm sure that's all to come though.

On a lighter note, my DD has nearly finished her GCSE'S and is still alive and my dog can join the naughty canine brigade as he cocked his leg twice on someone's football bag!

Hope you all have something pleasant planned for this evening.

PiscoSour66 · 11/06/2016 17:22

Hello madame. It's lovely to hear from you. It's good to know that you're getting on with your life, but I know what you mean about this ever present sadness. I can be having a proper laugh about something and be really enjoying myself but there is always this sense that something isn't right.
And yes, I have to agree with you that I can only deal with this situation by being myself. I can't distance myself, I can't be cool. Funnily enough my counsellor was working with me to give him the big heave ho, but in the end she could see that wasn't my way of doing things. So we gave up on that idea! If I'm really honest I don't want to call time on my marriage just yet either, and I'm a lot further in this mess than you! I've said this elsewhere, but it's hard when people expect these big changes from yourself to somehow prove that you've moved on. New house, new job, out every night and the one that everyone is waiting for, new boyfriend. But it's not happening like that for me, and quite frankly I find the familiar really comforting at this time. Everything else will just have to wait. Inch by inch, step by step.
Look after yourself and your daughter. I'm so glad that you are still doing ok, ok as can be. Onwards and upwards! Xxx

Hushabyemountain98 · 11/06/2016 19:43

Welcome back madame. I am glad that your husband is still treating you and your daughter well. Apart from the fact that he is not coming home.
It is good that you and your daughter had a holiday.
I am glad that you are making some changes in your life. It is good that you have bought new bedding and rearranged the furniture to make your house more your own.
I can understand you not wanting to call time on your marriage. Only you can decide when or if you are ready for that.
As my dear Mum used to tell me, when your friends etc go into their homes at night and close their front doors they get on with their lives and you are on your own. You have to do what you think is right for you and your daughter.
I hope that your daughters GCSE's have gone well. Fingers crossed!
Sorry to hear that your dog has disgraced himself a couple of times! Dogs will be dogs!
Have a nice evening xxx

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madamehooch · 11/06/2016 22:01

Hi pisco and Hush. Thanks for the kind words. I did think I was being weak originally by not 'moving on ' but I see now that things happen in their own good time and if he wants out for good he needs to man up and tell me so. That's one thing i'm certainly not making easy for him! I'm also not moving out of my house unless I have to. It might be painful sometimes to live here but as one of my good friends pointed out, why put myself in a worse situation?

I've just got back from a BBQ with my DD, friends and godsons. Sex and the City is my viewing choice for this evening. I have a secret yearning to live in New York but only on the upper east side :)

Okay all - it's Sunday tomorrow which is our worst day but we'll get through it together :)

Hushabyemountain98 · 11/06/2016 22:30

Hi madame,

You are not being weak at all. Just do what you need to to in your own time.
Take care of yourself and your daughter. That is what is important.

I am glad that you have been out for a BBQ with your daughter.
Enjoy Sex in the City. I wouldn't want to live in New York it is far too loud for me!

Fingers crossed that we will all get through our dreaded day together!
Enjoy the movie xxx

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madamehooch · 12/06/2016 08:58

Morning all. It's the dreaded Sunday again but we're going to get through it and all too soon we'll be moaning because it's Mondays morning :)

Hush - I remember you saying that you wish you could start reading again. Have you tried in the bath? Reading is my passion and I found I couldn't settle to it after DH left (resented him greatly for this) but I find the bath and the bus great places to get me back into it again.

Hope the moving of your son's stuff goes well. I imagine the dirty washing bag will keep you busy for a while. ..

madamehooch · 12/06/2016 09:04

Thankgod - did you get some good books from the library. I'm really nosey about people's reading habits :)

Hushabyemountain98 · 12/06/2016 09:19

Good morning madame.
It is the dreaded day again!
You are right we will be moaning that it is Monday again!
It is wet outside. Not good for dog walking!
Yes I do wish I could start reading again. I cannot read in the bath as we do not have one. Would be a bit difficult in the shower!
This sounds awful but I think the last time I went on a bus was in Holland several years ago or at the airport.
I am sure the dirty washing bin will keep me busy for a while!

I better go and get sorted. I have been saying that for an hour or so!
Have a good day xx

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Hushabyemountain98 · 12/06/2016 09:22

We were talking about books just now.
I went to see Me Before You at the cinema with a friend on Thursday.
She mentioned that the book was a good read so she is going to lend it to me xx

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madamehooch · 12/06/2016 09:38

I quite like a good bus ride - no stresses of driving, a bit of people watching (but no direct eye contact ):)

Hope you enjoy Me Before You Hush. I've just started reading Lucia Victrix which is the book the series Mapp and Lucia is based on. It's a big old read about duelling widows. Only on Chapter 3 but enjoying it so far.

ThankGodItsThursday · 12/06/2016 09:59

Morning everyone.
Madame I like reading crime/serial killer books as a rule. Got three new books out yesterday. Two Mary Burton books and a new author to try.
I used to be an avid reader but over the years I was with my husband gradually stopped apart from if I had a book at Christmas. Thinking about it I pretty much stopped doing everything I used to enjoy.
I started a short soft furnishings course last week. I'm going to learn how to make basic curtains. It's something I've wanted to do for a while. I had enquired about it just before he dropped his bombshell. Whilst on my way there I thought to myself - you wouldn't be doing this if you hadn't split up! And that's the truth I probably would have found a reason not to do it.
I can't believe it's been six weeks.
It's raining here as well.
I've got ironing to do (which I hate) and the dog to walk if the rain stops.