DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

I was nine days sober but now I've relapsed and utterly loathe myself. Today is...Another day though, I guess.

Nine days? Nine MONTHS. Sorry my head is all over the place right now.

Welcome Riviera You sound very distressed. Please try and take some time to catch your breath. You are not on your own - the support here is wonderful.

If it would help to say a bit more about what has happened then do but don't feel you have to share.

Several of the ladies here have relapsed after long periods of sobriety. The main thing is that you have found your way here. I am sure someone else will be along soon but I didn't want you to think no one was here for you.

Welcome Riviera, 9 months is great - and it's even better that you've not just given up on giving up because of a slip. Apparently it's quite normal, but some people then carry on for years before they try again...

efc 13 miles!!!! you nutter :)

onewhite - I find not smoking is like going AF free - if I don't have tobacco and make the decision not to smoke, then it's fine. THe minute I know that there is a chance of my casging a fag, the whole internal dialogue @I really want a fag, should I have a fag? I shouldn't really, I'm not smoking - mind you I do really want a fag, and I am quite stressed' and so on and so on - until I get bored with my mind going onn the same circuit, and have a fag just to shut myself up!

Morning Slim

Now that DP has given up too, and doesnt have any fags on him, it's much easier.

Taking it a day at a time......if I had said I'd go dry for a month I'd be counting down, funnily am finding it easier to be open ended.

That's very much how I feel about it, Lizzy. I know when I did dry Jan, by the 24th I was driving myself mad with thoughts about alcohol (see above, lol) but now that I'm not drinking, and have just completed 8 weeks (!!!) it's much easier...

Major drinking dream last night including frantic attempts to hide what I was doing. I hate drinking dreams - they are really unsettling.

Morning to everyone.

glad where do you buy your AF beers. I have used the Alcohol Free Shop which was good. DH really liked them. I don't really do AF wine/beer. I prefer virgin mojitos !!

Thank you so much, that means a lot.

I'd been doing really well, my OH went away for a wedding that I didn't attend because it was a weekend drink-fest, but when he was on the train back I went and had a drink, it spiralled and I got very drunk and made an absolute fucking arse of myself. I feel like I've thrown my life away again and I hate myself right now.

Morning all, haven't caught up on the thread as am dashing off today but just wanted to say welcome to riviera. Nine months sober is great, forgive yourself for the slip, work out why it happened and don't let it turn into a landslide. Back on the sober horse for you today!
Will be back later, have a good day everyone.

Riviera you have not thrown your life away. Nine months is amazing. Try and think about those nine months rather than the one day. You don't get that far without a huge amount of strength and determination. Use that strength to stay sober today, put the brakes on and catch your breath.

Please be very very kind to yourself today. Is there any chance you could rest today. I'm not sure whether it was yesterday you drank. If you are feeling hungover you need to give yourself extra TLC.

Remember you are strong and although you feel utterly miserable right now it will get better. Hang on in there.

riviera we don't know each other but I am rooting for you. You don't have to start drinking again, this can just be a disappointing slip because you're an ordinary human being, and nothing more. Today can be drink free, and tomorrow can be.

Don't forget however awful you feel, at least some of it is likely to be hangover, if it was yesterday. Two cans of coke, a couple of aspirin and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps if you can manage it.

x x

Rivera its a lapse. We have them and we learn and we do something different next time a wobble comes so we don't lapse in the same way. Treat it as a sad blip but not let it derail your sobriety. Be kind to yourself and get back on being sober. You know how to do it, you have done nine wonderful months!
What would you say to a friend in your shoes? I bet you would be kind and supportive. Say that to yourself :) koko xxx

vxa yes alcohol free shop they are very good. Got some gluten and AF beer this time as well as posh AF wine :)

hurricane good luck with the training, so much easier when not planning it round drinking/hangover- something I have always done in the past! The EHM will be great. Enjoy Spain!

I'm training for a whistle stop tour mid September- 26 miles in 3 races over 3 days!

rivera hi, be kind to yourself you must have good strategies to make 9 months so use those.

lizzy well done on your sober weekend sounds fab.

slim, vxa jojo, finnish and everyone else have a good day.

Sorry glad missed you off from last page, pleased your weekend went well

Ooh just got my new tent for the French trip :) 2 double plus bedrooms plus a sitting area and a big covered porch and another room area:) Easily sleeps 6 people with room to eat etc and officially sleeps 8. And I can stand up in this one whereas my other tent I couldn't in the bedroom and I got fed up with backache. So when I saw this new one in the sale I got it with some of my not drinking any more savings :) If I am going to spend three weeks under canvas I need to be able to stand upright :)

Hey everyone sorry not posted for a while thought I was doing great! I am now in 70 days and you'd think I'd be happy but feel like I'm in the worst headspace ever! Thought after all this time my anti depressants would have had better chance to work but sat on my lunch crying my eyes out am tired of it now xx had liver biopsy last Tuesday and get results next Monday but even that doesn't bother me I just want to disappear somewhere xxx trying to get docs appt but nothing till next Monday xxx

Hi everyone. I was on the earlier threads under various guises. Did nearly a year AF then went back to drinking. Been creeping up and up again. Having one hell of a panic attack today after a heavy day/night yesterday. Honestly feel like crying, shaking like a with anxiety. I'm so worried about the state of my liver. I really need to stop again. I can't do this anymore

Big Hugs Rose this sobriety thing is so hard. 70 days is brilliant - you have come so far. I remember that about that time I was struggling too.

You need to really try and be kind to yourself. It sounds like you might need a bit of time off work - is that a possibility at all ? Remember you don't need to be signed off for the first week. You might be experiencing PAWS. It's horrible,

It's a pain about the your GP not having any appts - can you speak to him/her on the phone ?

Did you request the liver tests ? You might have said before so I'm sorry if I have forgotten.

Sorry for all the questions. I don't mean to interrogate you. Keep posting. X

Welcome Sirona - be kind to yourself. Try and look at this as a positive thing. You know for sure that moderation is not for you. Can you rest today ? Bath, early night, TLC. X

Thanks vxa2 I'm a muppet for starting again. I thought I could control it now but obviously not. Have the full scale horrors today. Keep checking myself in the mirror convinced my liver is packing in. A relative has been admitted with liver problems through drinking so it's very much on my mind at the moment. No rest today, dc are running about.

Ok feeling a lot better now after a walk and a can of coke and some salt and vinegar crisps. I'm now reassured my skin is just it's normal sallow self and I don't have jaundice That's the second panic attack this in as many days though after drinking, enough is enough. Hope yous don't mind me rejoining the thread?

Day one and I've rummaged out my AA information, will reread the stopping drinking books on my kindle and can someone point me to Lucy's blog again. I have it bookmarked on my laptop but it's broken.

Tent sounds fab glad!

for rose (I was wondering where you'd got to, I'm sorry things are so rough at the moment) and for sirona

Keep on sober warriors even when the going is tough.

Hi Sirona well done on your year dry ! thats great - and you know now you CAN do it. Lucy's blog is ahangoverfreelife.com/.
vax has one here sothisissober.com/index.php/sample-page/
and so do I alcoholfree2016.com/

Rose Hi ! what was your liver biopsy for ? I really hope all is well
Hi riviera* - its a blip , a lapse, but you can make it JUST that, and get back into the AF space... It will be ok xx

Im plodding on, was unwell with some weird thing yesterday and slept for 16 hours - very strange - better today but still a bit flat.

Lily x

Thank you very much jojomo and Lily, I will get a proper read of the blogs once I get the dc in bed.

I'm going to spend some time tonight making out a list of the reasons I want to stop. Unfortunately my relapse was about 7 months ago, it's taken me that long to get round to quitting again and quite frightening how much my drinking has escalated over the last two months. I even took up smoking again

You are both correct though, I have done it before and I simply have to do it again. I can't put my family through me ending on a liver ward like my aunt who died there last year or my uncle who is there at the moment.

Bit tearful and overwhelmed by it all today but one day at a time eh? Will keep remembering all the money I saved not drinking last time.

vxa, jojomo & Lily sorry if I've missed anyone the liver biopsy was because my LFTs have always been at least double what they should be and last time they detected another possible auto immune disease (I'm already type 1 diabetic) will get results of biopsy next Monday xxx I just hate feeling like this I should be happy that I've done 70 days AF but I'm not in fact I just want to go out and get absolutely shitfaced and disappear for a while xx why the hell do I feel like this !! I should be on top of the world xxx

welcome sirona

You can do this. You've done it before.

How are you doing riviera ?

Hello to everyone else. I am still here. Still feeling a bit peaky so having a bath, a book and an early night. At least I am not making what is probably just a bit of a cold worse by giving myself a hangover.