DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

One I can't do moderation either. I think I have, finally, clearly accepted that I am not the person who can have a beer in the afternoon on a sunny day and then go and make tea and wash up and do all the normal things. I am definitely not the person who has a glass or two of wine over the course of a long evening at a social event. I'd like to be - I really would - but I am not. I am the person who gulps drinks, is always looking around to see that the wine hasn't run out, that someone else isn't emptying the bottle, that there's going to be enough left for me. It makes me greedy and selfish and boring and when I'm pissed I say stupid things and flirt and become unreliable and am just such a horrible person to be around.
Yep that's exactly me too, infact I couldn't have said it better myself.

Day 39 here, and I'm gearing up for our holiday, we're going self catering so I aim to be AF throughout (and perhaps do some mindfulness and yoga). But my mum has offered to book an all-inclusive break for us and her in October; two problems here - 1) free unlimited alcohol and 2) my mum is a big drinker herself (and one of my enablers). I think I'm going to have to turn down a free holiday without offending her....so I'm thinking that I might have used/committed all my holidays by then so we can't get away.

I don't access any other support so find this forum a great help and although I don't post much I do read it everyday.

to all who are struggling and congratulations to those who are reaching milestones.

ps Girls on Film was on R2 this morning... made me smile (ahh John Taylor)

I'm under the drugs and alcohol service atm - there was no referral time although I had to wait to get a keyworker.

My main source of help is an amazing sponsor from aa. She's lovely, consistent and challenging (me).

It helps that we are from a similar background and that she's a life coach too. I have had three sponsors in aa until I found the right one - they are like counsellors imo - you need to have a level of trust before it works. Also she's not one of these people who trot out aa-isms and sayings when I'm trying to have a discussion - that really winds me up.

Well done everyone - knowing we are not alone really helps :)

Hello all xx
I'm kinda new here, I was on here briefly a while ago, until (sigh) i went straight back to my old lush ways doh. But I'm now into my 3rd wk without the wine prop.

I really dont wana put anyone off giving up booze but i wandered if how ill i feel is normal? The last couple of weeks detoxing have been horrible, its made me realise just how addicted i must have been. Ive been reading some of you have started to feel and look better within days. Not me!. I've been beyond knackered, nodding off straight after work, headaches, bodyaches, heavy eyes, fogginess, zero energy, heart racing, I went to the doctors last week fuelled with anxiety, fessed up and balled my eyes out in front of him!! I had bloods taken, results next week (gulp). Oh and my face is dry and blotchy too. i feel and look like actual crap.

I'm off work 'sick' now in bed with ahem... 'a tummy bug', I just couldnt face it today. Just wondering if anyone else feels or felt really blumin ill?Is this normal? When did you start to feel alive again? ((Or maybe i'm just a big wuss!)) Xx

Hi everyone- sorry not been posting much. Am here though and sober. :)

Hi bluebrushes. :)

Okay here but had wine witch whisperings last night. So tonight I am going back to an old tool I used way back in 2014 when I first started getting sober (wish I had not slipped up so many times though :( )and I am packing DS up after school and driving 60 minutes to the beach where we will paddle and have a beach cafe dinner.

KOKO everyone.

Hi ya chatterbox, well done on the 3rd week. I do remember some on the earlier threads feeling terrible for weeks, it can take a while for your body to reach some sort of equilibrium after basically poisoning it consistently. I'm only on day three and feel like shite myself. Would you maybe have some anxiety about it all? I would be a health anxious sort of person and my head blows up any symptoms. Or you could just have a viral thing going on too, unfortunately bad timing so it makes you worry? Did the doctor raise any concerns with you?

Good move Cheesy, you live somewhere hot don't you? (Was 'broken' waaay back then) Well done for staying strong last night

Not very hot sadly Sirona. South east England. I am feeling all itchety and crotchety though as everyone I know seems to be holidaying in Majorca, Ibiza and Tuscany (glares at SIL... love her really. ) so I am making do with our local-ish stony beach. (Great for rockpooling though!).

What holiday plans for everyone? I am trying to find something cheap and cheerful but a bit last minute and am out of ideas really. DH lost his job a few months back and is in a bit of a slump. I have some money saved (not-drinking money hurrah!!!!) but it may be hard to motivate him to let me use it for a break.

Oh- I remember you as 'broken'! [waves] :)

Hi everyone

Welcome chatterbox are you taking any supplements? I think you get low on lots of vitamins and minerals when drinking heavily and don't notice how I'll you feel till the alcohol/hangovers aren't masking it?

girlson do what is best for you with your holiday- it sounds stressful being away with someone drinking and unlimited access.

I'm off to Italy with the whole family. Previously my df would be encouraging drinking- but he's now sober 4 months so we will be doing it together!

slim enjoy your beach trip! Sounds fab! I'm taking my kids to the library after school! Not quite as fun, my ds is a real bookworm!

sirona I've done that in the past relied on exercise to stay sober- then nasty injury laid me low for months and I've spiralled back to drinking. I'm running now but also using reading, dog walks, kids activities to fill my drinking time aswell.

Also just checked my quit app and I'm over 6 weeks now.

Thanks for the advice/corncern, I'm so ashamed i don't want to reach out to anyone i actually know. A few words shared on here can make ALL the difference to our days eh!

Sirona Hi. Yes there is actually a bug going round which is causing extreme fatigue, my doc said i could have that too but have to just ride it out. He was more concerned about the fact i went through half his box of tissues and suggested i might be slightly depressed (makes sense with shit thats gone down in my life of late). Said i was 'self medicating' with wine. Seeing him again next week to get blood results and discuss it more. Im hoping by then I'll bounce in feeling great and say "I'm fiiinnnneeee now".

efc Hiya. Good point, yep I started taking liquid iron vitamins & minerals last weekend, and been eating healthy for a couple of weeks. Hoping all that will kick in soon and i can start to function again ☺

Talking about holidays, we weren't going to bother this year but last night DH looked at me (clearly i must have looked like shite!) and said he thought i needed a rest and something to look forward to so we're gonna book something for later this summer. Thats if i can be arsed packing by then lol!

Chatterbox welcome. [hugs]

First few weeks are awful, and if you have a bug on top of it as well. Grim.

'can be awful' i mean. Take as much rest also as you can. xxxx

Thanks slimcheesy I've slept on and off all day, that after a solid 9 hours last night too. My reaction to stopping has been the biggest wake up call i could have had. Its really shocked me. Last day of wallowing today, Im determined to go for a run tomorrow morning, or maybe a jog, ah ok a brisk walk 😁 time to blow away the cobwebs and get a grip!
Hugs to u all x x x

I heard that us boozers can often be deficient in vitamin B so I started taking a multi vitamin when I stopped drinking, just in case. Also cod liver oil. No idea why. I'm sure we all respond differently: I certainly felt very 'crashy' which sugar ups and downs for the first week or two - not surprising when I'd probably been drinking 2000 calories a day or more for years and had suddenly removed it...

Yes i also had loads of multi vits. Plus milk thistle tabs to help my liver recover. From what I remember it is a couple of weeks when you first give up that you feel fatigued? It was almost like early pregnancy for me. But I do find as well that when I slip it takes me a few days of feeling exhausted to get back on top of things too. (Yet another reason to not slip... that and my self esteem dripping away )Chatter if you can manage to just sleep as much as you can, go gentle and easy - have lots of baths. It will pass, promise. :)

Italy sounds fantastic efc :) I think probably we will not book anything for the summer- but I am eyeing up something for the October half term. :)

Going to the beach worked brilliantly for triggers. I packed DH and DS up and we went and sat and rockpooled then went to the cafe restaurant. I was driving, so had lemonade, and did not feel even a bit of urging for alcohol. Just back now and sipping tea. Feel much more content than I did yesterday!!

slim your evening sounds lovely.

Hope everyone else is having a relaxing sober evening!

Sounds like a great family evening SlimCheesy. I'd got you mixed up when you mentioned the beach Still SE England is a damn sight hotter than here in miserable Ireland.

Good sleep is probably what your body needs Chatter and I hope by next week you are right as rain I too have done the snotty nosed can't stop crying at the doctors thing, it's a release to talk to someone when you have a lot of worries and emotions bottled up.

Yes efc that is definitely what I need to do this time. Saying that my back is still niggling and has me off the running at the moment so I will have to think of other things, I'm looking at that as a positive. I would love to go to Italy as I' ve never been before.

Ok day except for the bloody moodswings. One minute I'm fine and feeling good, the next snappy and absolutely shattered. Haven't stopped eating all day either. Bought Twinnings gingerbread green tea for a change earlier. I usually don't like green tea but adore anything with ginger in it, seem to have developed a bit of a taste for it already. Four cups down today.

I'm not going abroad anywhere this year. Usually do but have too much on this year with the smallest starting school and the house needing certain things done to it and bought. My parents are taking us away to Scotland for a week instead so I can spend some time with the sibs and them with the gc. They enjoy their wee drinks at night so bit dubious about it now but hopefully I'll be able to get the trainers on by that stage and dsis rarely drinks herself, I'll have a sober companion. No point in worrying about it now.

Hi, all you sober warriors.

Am desperately sad, but still sober.

So. If you are a single parent with autistic kids, how do you get a break apart from being drunk? I feel so tired of being me. I just want to ruin away. I no longer really want a drink, I just want my brain to stop for a bit...

I am fine. I will be fine. All will be good and I have a great life with great kids. I just wish there wasn't so damn much of it sometimes....

Sorry to be a downer and not even name check! I promise to be pink-fluffy cloud like again soon :)

Evening everyone,

Lots of new names on here since I was on here last, but this time is different. They say you have to reach rock bottom before you can make your way back up and I've certainly done that.

Off work sick with anxiety and depression, almost had a total breakdown, taking 5 pills a day which doc says I will be on some of them for 2 years, and I can't drink with them. These could be the pills that save my life. I am now on day 3.

I can choose either the pills that will make me well again or the wine that will make me ill. I know which path I am taking this time. x

Morning all, well done on 'surfing the urge' slim (found that phrase on *lucy's blog and I like the image!) and hope everyone is feeling better today.

Single parenting with autistic children must be really hard finnish and I get the need to escape for a break - have you tried any mediation-y type of things? A lot pf people on here like Andrew Johnson for that sort of thing, am about to download some of his recordings for myself as part of my sober armory over the holidays.

Hugs efc, I would imagine it would be exceedingly difficult for you. I'm a single parent, no dc with autism and it's hard enough going. Feels absolutely relentless at times so I get the need to 'escape' for a few hours. Is their dad involved at all, organisations/agencies, Homestart, any family support to call on? You really sound like you need a break to recharge more than anything

Sorry bestyears,hi, I'm only back myself :)

Eek that was to finnish, not efc.. I've stopped smoking today so my concentration isn't what it should be

Thanks sirona - well done on giving up smoking too! You are totally correct, I just need a break to recharge.

How is the not-smoking going?

I've got some meditations that are helpful, and my daily yoga practice.

onewhite - how are you doing? do the b vitamins help?

I think that partly my mood is linked to my cycle, and have been reading about how PMT is an issue for the newly sober... I' going to try tracking my cycle and moods, and see if that helps? But the bogs said that b vits and magnesium are really useful (which we happen to have in the house as it can help with autistic behavious too!)

Welcome to all the newcomers and returners!

I know JUST what you mean, finnish - I am not single and my kids are neurotypical but there are a few other things going on right now that I just do not want to have to think about ALL THE TIME.

Have you looked at Headspace? I try their meditation programme from time to time and it does me a lot of good - no idea why I am not more committed to doing it every day. It just gives me that sense of stillness.

I'm still feeling a bit rough. Just achy and feverish in the evenings. Can't think what it is - but it is wrecking my concentration and making me feel a bit sorry for myself.

bestyears well done on day 3. You can do this!

I might not post for a few days - I have to travel for work and am away from tomorrow and most of next week. It's usually a very very very boozy time so I am a bit worried. Going to have a sit down tomorrow morning and try to plan my time and come up with some reading material to keep me inspired and on the wagon.