DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

Wow this thread moves quickly...

Matron - AMAZING and a HUGE WELL DONE on your award ceremony, what an achievement I bet you feel over the moon to have done that. I read about this the other day and had a huge grin on my face . I am also very impressed you are on holiday and doing it sober...I haven't got that far yet and am due to go on holiday in a couple of months with 4 drinkers. I have not said anything or even contemplated what I am going to do yet, it is too far away to worry about now, but seeing and reading about others getting through it is really uplifting.

How Bad I am so sorry you are going through what you are but I am so impressed you are doing it sober, the end of a relationship is a very big thing and something which would send me running to the bottle as an excuse to cope with it. Such strength going through this sober.

VXA, I can't quite believe how many days you have now racked up - very well done!

Glad, sorry you feel like you do whats going on in your world? Why is life not better?

Lily how do you feel about your partner drinking? Does it bother you? Make you tempted??

Great to hear from Huck, I would also like to know about the weight aspect. I have managed to lose weight but it has been through a lot of effort and I had thought that the weight would just fall off through not drinking which is not the case at all

I have not name checked all, there are too many of us now which is a really good thing! Everyone's experiences are so important, I can relate to so many scenarios. I also know with absolute certainty that I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for everyone on this thread...you are all so motivating!

I have had an okay weekend, it was a bit white knuckly on Sunday. I think it was because the sun was shining, it was a bank holiday, I had been in the garden all day and it was looking gorgeous and normally it would have been a time I opened something very cold and white and sat down on the newly cleaned garden furniture and admired my garden...I got through it and then we dropped the children at grandparents yesterday. My stupid DH then mentioned drinking twice times on the way home "Hey Lou, its no kids party night so straight to the pub then?" he he he. Really bloody stupid as I was the first to mention it saying it was going to be hard and a bit weird because normally when we have no children we booze and he had said no don't ruin it etc then 5 minutes later he is mentioning it! I asked him what the F**K was he thinking and was he deliberately trying to sabotage and he said he just wanted to see what I would say and was only joking - what a dick and obviously not true as I had already said I was going to find it hard. I think if the truth be known was that he wanted to drink but didn't want to if I wasn't drinking....

Anyway I rode it out and it was fine but you have to be on your guard the whole time!

This week is going to be hard or it could be easy I suppose! I am thinking it is going to be hard because a) kids are away b) work is quiet c) I am up to about 20/21 days and in the past I have caved at this point so I am assuming in my mind that it is a really difficult milestone to get through.

OR I could make it easy and just tell myself how easy I am going to find it, nothing phases me and I am going to sail through the week feeling fab

Don't think about it being a whole week Lou..
Think about today. Today is doable.
Just Today, tomorrow you can change your mind if you decide to.
But for today - heck - go for a walk, bike ride, weed a garden bed. Read a book.
Tomorrow so far away, but today - you can be awesomely strong and sober.

lou I know what you mean about the 21 day area. Sufficiently long enough to feel that you can nail this and thoughts of moderation filter in. Make sure you are prepared for the sneakiness of feeling like just one evening of drinking won't matter.

From my experience it does matter and resets my efforts to day 1 and sweating out the physical side of things as well as mental anguish.

Day 11 for me (previous attempt c19 days) I could have been 30 days but wasted it.

I am in bed.

Glad I am up for staying dry today with Lou come with us and have a dry Tuesday and see what tomorrow brings X

Ps I am only in bed while everyone is in the bar. I'm getting up for the sports games, which I have a chance of winning this year seeing as I am the only sober adult.

Matron so pleased to see you are embracing the bed there is no use resisting; bed or bath all the way for us sober warriors! I may join you (ooo-err) .

Hi. I browse this thread occasionally.

I drink far too much. It concerns me as my mum died with Alzheimers and also had breast cancer. She was a big drinker. Not binge but consistent.

My whole family and most of my friends are big drinkers. DH too. We both have hangovers every weekend.

I drink every night apart from when I do a FD. I drink 2 gin and slims usually, more on Fridays and Saturdays.

I am slimmer and fitter than I have ever been though. I run and swim, and go to the gym, most days at the moment, as I am doing a Biathlon on Friday. I have recently lost 10 pounds doing 5:2 and weigh 8 and a half stone.

I use MFP to count calories and rarely go over my daily allowance as I factor in cals from booze, and eat less to compensate. I don't smoke, I don't eat sugar and my diet is made up of veg and protein mainly, and I drink loads of water.

I cannot imagine not having drink in my life. The longest I have ever gone is 2 weeks.

On the rare nights I don't drink I sleep better. My hangovers are never debilitating as I force myself to do all the things I have to do with a smile on my face, including exercise and find a "fake it till you make it" strategy works for me.

I have a great marriage but I think it is because I have learnt how to manage DH with his hangovers, and he also has a deeper understanding of how he behaves with one and we don't allow it to escalate into a row or a situation.

I don't know why I am posting really. I am in awe of you all.

Welcome mooching :)
Matron very impressed with sober warrior holiday stylee Holiday's are for catching up on sleep no?
Nice weather is a distant memory here - back to rain Gah!

Yes Lucy, rain rain rain but in a way its a GOOD thing for me , if it was nice I know I would be having wistful pub garden thoughts invading.

Instead I am going to go on a very wet, muddy walk with the doggie - she needs it!

WTF people, it's June tomorrow and I have the fire on!

Yep me too Howbad - fired up the central heating earlier!!
Also forgot to say welcome to Huck and HUGE congrats on 5 1/2 years

Hi mooching - do you think you might like to be AF ?

Out heating is on too Lucy and howbad - seemed bonkers when it's June tomorrow !

Hope everyone is ok at the start of another week. I've done day 3 of the yoga challenge. I do enjoy it - and have a yoga class tomorrow evening to look forward to.

Waves to all the fantastic sober warriors

Lily 🌷

Hi lily. Yes sometimes I do. I think it would remove a lot of the guilt I feel about my drinking. And my worries about long term health issues.

I can't imagine ever doing it though.

Just to be devils advocate , why not ? What would you be losing but not drinking ? Is there anything you can imagine being different so that you could see yourself AF ? Do you know how many units you are drinking?

Sorry too many questions. It take being in the right place to make the decision, in my case after many years of trying ( and failing) to moderate .

We are very supportive on the thread if you did want to give it a go. Some others go to / have been toAA.

Lily 🌷

welcome mooching. I had so much guilt and shame tied up with my drinking and it is wonderful not to have that anymore. Lily is right you do need to be in the right place to reach a decision to stop drinking - I don't mean you personally, just generally. I knew I needed to stop for a long time before I actually did. It sounds as if you might be starting to think that way ?

It's chilly here too. I am snuggled up in bed with my electric blanket on !

Went to a spinning class at 6.00am which I really enjoyed but am exhausted now.

Love to all the wonderful sober warriors X

I am no longer concerned about my flower pots drying out in the UK. Sounds cold and wet.

I'm back in bed after a good meal and fun evening. Bits of it were odd. I am picking up on a lot of subtle behaviour that I missed when drunk. It's much easier to notice a put down when sober and to defend myself without an argument.

My sobriety is affecting my family. They want to know when I am getting back to normal.

This is it, this is me getting back to normal. Day 11 of getting back to where I should be

" I am picking up on a lot of subtle behaviour that I missed when drunk. It's much easier to notice a put down when sober and to defend myself without an argument. "

Yes! I recognise this. And if you prefer to, you can just let it go, knowing that the other person is picking because they are drunk and diminished, but you have moved on. (my sister doesn't drink much but every time she does, she gets suddenly tired and ratty and starts making digs about things I did in 1986, which I love to serenely ignore)

Morning ladies. Feeling a bit down today. I have decided indeed to tackle the eating and ease up on the carbs. I think 63 days is long enough for me to pull myself together. I used to really watch what I eat because I wanted to get my calories from wine. Now everything feels up in the air. I feel deprived from not drinking so I am treating myself to crisps and cake and I need not to do it any more.

Added to this my period is 2 weeks late and it is making me feel really out of balance. I even took a pregnancy test which was negative. Quite how I would be pregnant when my DH has had the snip and we don't have much sex - poor sod, I dont know.

Just feel crap. Sorry to moan.

vax2 hope today gets better. Have you tried 5:2 might be worth a look at the boards here? I got into bad eating habits after a knee op last year and the fasting really helped.

Been away a few days so struggling to catch up with everyone.

All going well here- enjoying an AF half term- dog walked 7.30 each morning. Head clear. 10k run in the sunshine last night with tea after. Cringe at how I would reward exercise with alcohol!

Hey there vxa. Sorry you are feeling crap. You are going amazingly well, 63 days is a huge achievement. However, compared to the days of drinking it is still early-days. Your body is still adjusting, and will be for some time yet.

How about planning some healthier meals, focussing on nutrition (not calories!), to help your body heal, whilst still being satisfying?

There is nothing wrong with the odd treat, just keep them small and really tasty, rather than cramming in the junk (I am susceptible to this too!).

Are there any other past-times you find satisfying? You could try doing those for 20mins instead of grabbing the crisps?

Or invest in some new herbal teas/ posh coffee to have instead of cake, maybe with a small square of choc or some fresh raspberries on the side?

Sorry if I am listing things you've already thought of. I am just worried that if you feel deprived you might hit the f*#% it button on the booze; it's so important to keep your precious sober stretch safe, and your sober toolbox to hand.

Take care you, and all sober warriors

Morning all,

You all seem to be doing so much more than me - I didn't getup till 9:30 today (6 am spin class! I'm in awe!)

however, I'm still enjoying sobriety (day 17) - good tip on the intrusive thoughts about moderation around 3 weeks in - I'm starting to get that:

'I've found it so easy and lovely giving up, that just shows that I can moderate, maybe the whole drink problem is me being a big drama queen, I can't imagine never drinking again, maybe after a month AF I'll be able to moderate' etc etc.

Breathe - today I'm not drinking.

Thank you for all the support. I have booked myself onto a spin class for 7 tonight so that will give me something to aim for.

5:2 was good before but I think it is too much for right now. I also used MFP but I get really obsessive about things and it was a bit counterproductive because if I went 10 cals over I would think I had failed.

I think getting healthy snacks in is a good idea. I have nutribullet which I use everyday. I think I might have that mid morning.

I am not overweight just a bit bigger than I would like to be. It will be better being back at work next week but that brings its own massive stresses.

I have been following a blog where the poor lady is really struggling and I am finding that a bit hard so I think I need to unfollow. I so much want her to succeed but I think I feel too emotional about it. There is also a lady I met at the alcohol course I went on and I am trying to help her. Perhaps it's too much.

Sorry this is long. I have so much going on in my head. I was going to try and study a bit for a work accreditation but it's 11 and I haven't even started.

vxa focus on yourself this is the time when being totally selfish is justified and frankly essential to your sobriety.

I gave up smoking and ignored the weight gain for 1 year. I allowed myself not to stress about it and just focus on the job in hand. After 1 year and feeling confident about my quit I tackled the weight. Dry Jan, diet and exercise yielded a 1 stone loss.

I'm gaining again because I'm giving all my resource to sobriety. Ah well I plan to tackle the weight in 2017.

Get your study books out do two 40 minute slots with a break in between. You will feel great for having done it. Go on do it now. You have got this covered. It's all about you today

finnish this thread is marvellous for telling us what to expect as we are all going through the same process. Hang on in through the moderation thoughts and wind that tape forward.

3 weeks and slip and hangover or continued sober life to bigger numbers. Good luck x

Delurking here.

Today I am 30 day AF. And it would not have happened but for these threads.

I recognise so much of myself in what I've read here. Drinking has been creeping up over the years until it was affecting life much more than I was willing to admit. Tried moderating a number of times, always failing miserably.

I eventually realised that the only way forward was to quit altogether. I read the Alan Carr book (although I never actually finished it) and although I don't agree with him on every point, the main message that really hit home was that there is nothing to gain from drinking. Once I got my head around that, that there is no benefit at all, it wasn't hard to just give it up.

Not that it has always been easy. The idea of never drinking again is still hard to comprehend, but I try not to think about it that way and just go day by day. I am certain there will be challenges ahead, especially since I've used alcohol to self medicate emotional problems for pretty much all of my adult life. It's also been a crutch in social situations, as I've always been deadly shy etc.

But here I am, thirty days in, and feeling so much better already. I am exercising more and eating better.

You lot have been an inspiration. Thank you.