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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DRY 13

999 replies

lilybetsy · 17/05/2016 19:10

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

OP posts:
HowBadIsThisPlease · 27/05/2016 07:57

It's really sad but I think I am going to have to be really careful right now and not see that friend for a bit.
I think I was lost and confused for a lot of my 20s actually. No way is this her fault but I don't think I chose friends, I think I hung out with people who would have me, and she didn't make me make terrible decisions but the lack of, hm, heart to my life was manifested in lots of ways and.... I'm rambling now.

Feeling better today but chesty and asthmatic, obviously fatter, and so angry for myself for being so stupid.

Inset day today: I'm working from home (working in bed right now hoping to knock off early and have some fun with the dcs later). It's good to be at home with the dcs.

I hope you all have a good friday and have a friday AF drink of choice in the fridge ready for later.

Lily, how is everything today?

Thanks jojo, the spreadsheet is really helping me

Hello vxa

Hello Matron, thank you so much for the chocolate and for holding my hand saying we're doing this together. We're doing this together!

Rosewinehunt71 · 27/05/2016 07:59

vxa2 looks like weighing scales but its not I don't think! Love to Lily sorry that you're having such a rubbish time Flowers
howbad what's done is done, a new day (a beautiful one too) a new start of a life without the poison, we can all do this together :)
Matron well done on Day 6 Flowers I love how we are all in this together and can support each other no matter what kind of day we're having cos we've all been there Flowers. Have just walked to work enjoying the morning sunshine and embracing Day 25 AF!! my treat for getting this far is a haircut tomorrow and I will do gardening and have some chilled Shloer once I have finished and can enjoy the Bank Hols. Has anyone got any good plans/treats for this weekend? Grin Love to all and anyone I've not mentioned Angry Bird Flowers

jojomo · 27/05/2016 08:44

Morning all, lazy start to half term today, all in pj's watching cbbc. No big plans today. Except for not drinking! Might do the pomegranate mocktail tonight if the weather stays nice and we can eat outside.

howbad I also like the soothing power of a well organised spreadsheet!

Will be back later...probably frazzled after a day with my ds's...

SlimCheesy · 27/05/2016 10:58

Hi all- have not managed to catch up yet on the thread.

Did anyone watch this last night?

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b07czwhz/the-truth-about-8-alcohol

going back to read thread. Happy sober days.

Loubilou09 · 27/05/2016 13:18

Grrrr just typed a long thread and lost it!!! gah.....

Long and short is glad you are all still here, I am a very avid reader but so much a poster. Sorry some of you are having a hard time and sorry some of you have had a blip, however it is fantastic that with this thread everyone seems to be getting straight back on the horse even with a blip which is really good news!

I have got to day 16 this time, am slightly nervous for the bank holiday but I am sure I will be fine! My children are going to their grandparents for a week over half term and that would usually be green light for lots of nights out with DH and lots of booze, however we have had a booze free week whilst they have been away before and I know we can do one again.

One thing I am doing is low carbing and trying not to replace the alcohol sugar. I "think" it helps but not sure...I don't seem to be craving as much as I would normally. I am also taking the E-glutamine that someone recommended and also chromium picolinate which is supposed to curb cravings so it might be those? The good news is that I am down about 10lbs in the last month - yay!

Will catch up with you all over the weekend no doubt :)

Sybilramkinvimes · 27/05/2016 21:11

Well, checking in after a really difficult and frazzling day. Waah - got back late cos so many problems at work and really, really tempted to stop off for wine. But settled for pizza and strawberries instead. This too shall pass but this was not a great day...

Angry Bird off to find some rubbish tv now!

Loubilou09 · 27/05/2016 21:15

Sybil sorry to hear you are having a bad day Sad. I am just about to sink into Bridgitte Jones - always a winner!! Grin

MatronLittle · 27/05/2016 21:39

lou yay!!!!! to 10lbs Grin

sybil you were tempted but you didn't Brew and roll on tomorrow and a new day.

I am not feeling well. Off to bed.

lilybetsy · 27/05/2016 22:11

The new Seedlip drink is available !! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟😀😀😀

I'm so happy

www.thewhiskyexchange.com/p/33340/seedlip-garden-108-non-alcoholic-spirit

Ordered a bottle to arrive next week . That has really cheered me up after a long , dull and frustrations day during which I ate shed loads of chocolate .. Self sabotage really - which is depressing. I've been thinking about that "self sabotage" quite a lot. I do this to myself really often, in my career, in my private life and I think that's why I failed in my last serious attempt at sobriety. It's almost like I didn't believe that I , me, could actually do something difficult. I believed that others, strong people, could stay long term sober - but that the aim was beyond me. So, after almost eight months I assumed that I would fail at some time, and of course that set me up to fail.

I need to have more self belief. There is no reason at all why I can't be happy and successful and sober .... Just like Lucy and fuzzy and countless others

I'm going to watch that programme about alcohol tonight.

Love to all Lily 🌷

OP posts:
Lucy2610 · 27/05/2016 22:13

Evening sober warriors Angry Bird Tried a new drink called Botonique tonight. Another new botanical based AF drink but quite different from Seedlip. Looks like a sparkling white wine but has a botanical taste :)
Working most of the long week-end so hope you all enjoy the sunshine on my behalf :)

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 27/05/2016 22:54

Evening all Angry Bird

Quick check in to say hi. Thanks so much for the heads-up about the new seedlip Lily, and Lucy that Botonique looks fabulous!! Very exciting; the non-alcoholic drinks market seems to be really taking off right now, good news for us lot.

Anyhow, I am sober and grumpy tonight. Just the usual repetitive, unresolved shit with 'D'P, just rearing its head in time to wreck yet another holiday weekend. Gah. Sobriety certainly isn't a magic wand, but on the other hand alcohol is no longer masking reality, which means there is now potential... For what I am not quite sure, but it's out there!

Love to you all sober warriors, take care Flowers

HowBadIsThisPlease · 27/05/2016 23:44

Sorry to hear about the grump Fuzzy.

Holidays can be cruel!

I thought about drinking tonight.... and reminded myself why I don't. Playing the video to the end, etc.

I told my boss today that exP and I are separating. She's on holiday next week and said "call me about anything - I mean not just work - just call me any time about anything at all". Then she told the senior management team and I got a couple of nice messages.

It feels free to be honest. That's the joy of not drinking. not hiding, not lying, not sneaking about. I think I've been vaguely ashamed of something all my life, long before I was old enough to take up drinking, and I think it's time to stop. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I've made a lot of mistakes and there are a lot of things I can improve but that isn't the same as the deep intrinsic shame that was somehow part of my childhood.

Sorry you had a difficult day, Lily.
I hear you on the self sabotage.

Oh god I have just remembered that once I did a telephone interview for a job completely shit-faced [cringe]
I woke up the next morning and tried to play it back and convince myself that it was probably totally fine.
no way was it totally fine.

That guy is still a player in my industry and every time i hear his name I pray that he has forgotten me. I hope he has, there is no way he considered for a second employing me so he might have erased me from his memory without a second thought [hopeful]

right moving on. No more shame, no more shitfaced interviews, no more sitting on bar stools with a painfully full bladder wondering how badly it's likely to go if I try to get off the stool and find the loos, and deciding to just leave it for another 5 minutes

glad2016 · 27/05/2016 23:49

Oh I so want to drink tonignt. No idea why but I do. Had a really crappy, stressful day so maybe that is why? After 150 days AF ! Off to bed with Amazon Prime video and my tablet! KOKO ( and especially wish it for me) sober warriors!

HowBadIsThisPlease · 28/05/2016 00:13

Big fist-bump to you, glad. KOKO Flowers Brew

MatronLittle · 28/05/2016 08:12

Morning Sober Warriors!

I am not sure if I will be able to post for a few days as I'm away from home and not sure on wifi.

I have some great news to share. I had my reward presentation and the party. I didn't want to tell in advance because I was making myself and potentially you excited.

I enjoyed both sober. ENJOYED!!!

howbad so much stuff to sort out in the present and past you are doing amazingly well xx

KOKO

MatronLittle · 28/05/2016 10:28

*footnote we had the party on the same day and true to her word DM arranged afternoon tea and cake. No caterers and number of guests halved.

I was second to leave at 9pm!

Although the environment was a lot less challenging than originally planned I still feel huge achievement.

I skipped the award dinner and didn't feel short changed one bit.

Planning is everything for me. Why do I feel it's ok to test myself with big nights out I have no idea as it just leads to a big fail.

jojomo · 28/05/2016 10:39

Well done matron you are achieving left, right and centre!!

Craft tip to amuse kids for any rubbish housewives like myself this half term - find a load of leftover potatoes in a cupboard which have sprouted madly, paint them and add googly eyes to make potato aliens. Kept mine amused yesterday for a while!

Am also away as of tomorrow and lacking wifi so will pop back as and when I can. No major challenges whilst away I don't think (I hope!). Keep on sober warriors! Angry Bird

MatronLittle · 28/05/2016 11:01

jojo thank you. I am so cuffed at not drinking I was fishing for compliments and you obliged Grin another tip is to let the children chalk the patio/pavement it washes off in the rain.

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 28/05/2016 11:08

Aha! Well done Matron that is such a huge achievement! StarStarStar

Be sure to keep on treating yourself well, and keep sight of how well you continue to do day to day, as well as in this big event.

MatronLittle · 28/05/2016 11:35

Fuzzy sound advice.

finnishbiscuiteater · 28/05/2016 11:42

well done glad - the occasional wobble is to be expected - bed and tv sounds great- what did you watch?

Day 13 here - with day 7 of Yoga camp comleted already. Am childfree tonight, so going to go out for a nice meal, instead of spending the time drinking! I actually really enjoy drinking tonic water and ice, so that should be fine for me.

Trying to apply for a new job, but the whole 'I'm so fabulous, this is how great I am' thing makes me squirm! I know what I need to write, as I recruit people too - I' just have to get on and do it.

waves hello to all sober warriors

lilybetsy · 28/05/2016 11:50

matron🎉🎉🎉🌟🌟🌟🎉🎉🎉💐 huge congratulation ! Well done , that is such an achievement !!!! Big pat on the back and a hug from me. And double pleasure because you actually enjoyed yourself ! I thinkin the future when it becomes the preferred way of life (not to drink) dinners /occasions will be ok (I am assured this comes with time) but right now, when it's a struggle, I think big challenges are best avoided, or planned for very very carefully !

howbad ditch the guilt - everything that has happened to you makes you the fab and strong person you are today. You can't change the past, you can only learn from it and shape a happy future - it's great that you boss has been so supportive and that you can see a way clear to separation and a happier life with your DC.

Hope you are feeling better glad

jojo you sound very creative ! What a great thing to do.

I had a good chat with my DB this morning, and discussed the ongoing tension between DP and DS1, it's good to have some real life support, and to know that it's NOT me, DP is behaving unreasonably. Need to try and have a chat today while the kids are at their dads.

I have ordered some botoniqe - that's for the tip lucy - I like necks blue lemon a LOT and I love seedlip - my AF drinks cabinet is expanding. Day 78 today. My life IS better without alcohol, I have a lot less shame and fear. Less anxiety and things are simpler. I am going to write a list of why things are better, and what I enjoy about not drinking - so far I am fitter, happier, and probably healthier, but not slimmer or richer ( that will be all the expensive AF treats I keep spending on) Have a good day all,and enjoy the sunshine :-)

Love Lily 🌷 xxx

OP posts:
HowBadIsThisPlease · 28/05/2016 12:12

Good morning

Matron!! I am THRILLED for you! Not only did you get the award (initial yay!) - not only did you not drink at the celebrations (double yay!!!) - but you ACTUALLY ENJOYED IT!!! (thrice YAY YAY YAY!) and now, whenever you think of the award, or of your mum, or anything connected with all this, you can have nothing but a deep sense of contentment and achievement. and that all comes together into a big touchstone.

I am so so so happy for you. I was wondering when it was and deliberately not asking

Flowers flowers] flowers] flowers] flowers]

Lily - so glad you are talking to someone about DP. It really helps.

(Jealous of your sunshine though, cloud here.) (not really. enjoying making chicken soup)

I am so glad I woke up this morning not having drunk last night. Every hour has about 9 moods in it for me at the moment and I can only cope with sober stability.

Lucy2610 · 28/05/2016 13:47

BLOODY WELL DONE MATRON :) Big sober treat time for you missus Grin Flowers
Lily Hope you enjoy the new drink and yes like BB Lemon too!

CooeeOnlyMe · 28/05/2016 14:22

Wooooooooooooooooo go Matron [waves flags] FlowersFlowersFlowerswell done! Fantastic that you gave not just won an award but survived the whole shebang sober! The only award I ever won was a bronze personal survival certificate and you don't get given parties for that.

Lily and Howbad I'm glad you've got support in rl,

Am away for a long weekend but will be posting sporadically. Hope everyone has a good one.