Not really sure why I'm writing this,..i just need to get it out I think so don't mind about not replying
Been with Dh 8 years, have a toddler, we've had ups and downs like most couples etc.
We've been having a really good few months lately, stressful situations have been sorted out to do with housing and stuff.
Dh has always had a bit of a wandering eye, I've not really minded about it. He likes to go on social apps too.
Problem is that a couple of weeks ago when we where in bed he told me that he really fancies a woman from the app, they have talked for months, don't say much, she mostly sends rude pics and chats a little. I tried to be understanding and laugh it off as it's just infatuation.
However a week ago we were talking about it and he says he is sorry but he can't help fancying and wanting to sleep with this woman/other women. He said hr would probably have sex with her if he could. Somehow I ended up saying that I accept it and agreed to turn a blind eye, basically said if he needs a mistress then so be it. He is very happy with this.
I'm stupid to agree such things I know. I just feel it's better to accept such things, we have a great marriage otherwise.
I just feel so numb about it all though. I don't feel happy or sad. I can't believe this is what my marriage has turned into, me allowing a mistress. I've fucked up haven't I?
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WTF have I done?
CloudedPensive · 04/05/2016 23:36
I do keep thinking about how I used to be and where I thought I would end up. This isn't the life I thought I'd have. I have no job, no friends, just DH(due to quite severe PND-I had to quit and pushed people away). I'm trying to change that though, I've been reading threads on here for the past year and doing what people suggest about going out etc. It's working
I think part of why he looks at other women is because I put on a lot of weight with the PND (15stone
) so my body is not very appealing. I feel guilty because of it, he didn't marry be like this, it's not fair on him.
The app is just a social chat app, I have it too, it's nothing about sex or anything like that.
We both have the same religion,..though different approaches to it I suppose.
I know but it's a hell of alot of weight that I put on, ..he stopped fancying me and I didn't do anything about it for a long time. It must have been tough.
This last year I have lost quite a bit of weight, about 9 and a half stone, and things seemed to be getting better but now this.
He has promised that it anything does happen then our child won't know and he says our unit won't be affected. I don't know how that can be though? I mean, he will be spending time with other women when he could be spending it with us won't he?. But I don't want to break us up. Either way it just seems shit.
Wow! In amongst all the things you have to do, with all this shit going on, you've also managed to lose a huge amount of weight! You are actually Superwoman, aren't you? 
So, if he put on a huge amount of weight due to an enormous upheavel which affected every single part of his life, it would be entirely reasonable for you to go off him, and start chatting up men on the internet? Of course, yes, I see that.
No, I jolly well don't.
You are worth sooooo much more than this, and so is your baby.
You're right, if he's thinking about the other woman, chatting to the other woman, then he's not thinking about or interacting with his family. He is squandering his resources, physical, mental and emotional, on a stranger. There is nothing good for your family in that.
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