DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

Hello everyone. Please can I join?

My story is pretty mundane - wine consumption creeping up over the years, beginning to impact on health, temper and conscience. My sleep has been awful and I feel like crap. I have taken to recently hiding a bottle in the spare room so I can take a crafty nip, as well as opening the wine earlier and earlier.

I stopped on Monday. Today is Day 4. But I am going out tomorrow night with a good friend and am worried she will be disappointed that the fun, girly, boozy night out she was expecting won't be on the cards. She can drink of course!

Please don't say, well, a good friend would support you, so if she won't, sod her. She's a close family friend, and very present in our lives.

Would you forewarn her? Or just have a heart to heart on arrival?

Sorry my first post is so needy! All of the posts here are incredibly honest and wise so it felt like a safe place to confess!

Thank you.

Welcome shark. If I were you I would definitely forewarn her and then the heart to heart conversation on the night itself will be easier as she'll have got over the initial shock! I do find people are easily shocked. You will have a lovely evening I'm sure. Go somewhere they serve Becks Blue!

Thanks, Absolute. That's wise advice! I will do just that!

Don't get me wrong, she's an amazing friend and I know she will be supportive. I just think she will be surprised by my confession. Like many others here, I don't fit the stereotype. Though reading all the posts makes me realise how common problem this is for so many of us.

I'll text her now and update.

Thank you.

Hi Everyone was just lurking for a day yesterday currently now in Day 10 AF! Tomorrow is my work visit to our London office, I have been honest with my boss and she is so proud of me and even though we will be going for meal out and then The Ice Bar I am prepared to be tempted and have a non alcoholic cocktail list which I can ask for very nervous indeed as I know it won't be so easy on the night xxx will prob come on here if I need support if that's ok? 🙂 Each day has its ups and downs and have found a drink I can put in a wine glass with loads of ice Shloer white grape juice has become my saviour!! All my love to everyone we are Sober Warriors xxxx

Hi shark , welcome and we'll done on making the decision to stop drinking. It's hard, but we all here realise that alcohol has become unhealthy for us and that we can't control our drinking once we start. There are some fab posters here who have been sober for a long time - and there is loads of support and advice. Have you ever had a period alcohol free before ?

I agree tell friend you CANT drink before you arrive. How much you say us up to you, some of us have gone public, others have told very few people ... Personally I plan what I'm going yo drink before hand - with a back up second choice as it takes away that dithering moment ....

Hello Rose, how lovely to meet you. That's a good plan re tomorrow, esp as it's going to be hot and London will be heaving. You can do it.

And hello lily and thank you for your advice. My last AF period was 5/6 years ago for 18 months due to pregnancy and bf. It's never been as bad as the last 6 months, but I've always been a heavy drinker.

I texted my friend. No details, just a heads up. Her response? 'Totally fine. Rather fancy mocktails anyway as have an early gym class Saturday'.

I have never felt like such a dram llama! Still....new to this!

Hi Shark that's so nice to hear, what a good friend you've got. Think it can be easy to over inflate things in our head...the reality is often far less of a stress than we build it up to be.

hello shark brilliant that you got such a good response from your friend. I am starting to think it's the stereotype that's misleading - there's a lot of this about. Good idea to know what you are going to ask for in advance so there's not that awful moment at the bar. I'm with Rose on the schloer in the wine glass - tastes good, looks enough like a real drink that you don't have to explain if you don't want to!

Also I've found it really, really helps me to play the tape forward so you think truthfully about having a drink - will it really be "just one" ...? Imagine your happy hangover free morning vs the potential trainwreck if you start drinking.

I like the way I sound so sorted here :) Am still learning and find so much help from this thread. However, am properly over my weekend wobble and noticing so many positives - calmer mood, more energy, enjoying the little things.

Waves to the sober warriors :)

Sainsbugs do a really nice non alcoholic fizzy pop :) looks like the real deal and tastes ok - just saying Matron - maybe the staff could give you some of that? Congrats on the award, sounds awsome!

Hi shark, I recently pre-warned some friends that I wouldn't be drinking at my birthday and they were also fine. Now we just need to stick to it!! Planning what to drink before you get there is a good idea and playing the tape forward has literally stopped me in my tracks once or twice so it's very useful.

matron congrats on your award! The day sounds difficult though, do you absolutely have to go? Drinking won't help, you know that. Don't let something so positive be the trigger for a slip. Can you plan something in for the day after that you need to stay sober for? And try a relaxation app for the nerves?

Welcome shark

glad that is such a good idea. If they are serving Buck's Fizz even better disguise.

It will be trays of drinks and canapés (I love tiny food! Genius idea). Then lunch then dinner

jojo I really want to go. It's recognising years of study and work in my field. I am going to have to imagine everyone naked.

Yes to playing the tape forward!

Very true, happy. I spend so much of my time thinking about drinking that I am totally surprised that others don't.

I mean, lots of my friends joke about wine o'clock and throwing back after a hard day with the kids/work/whatever, but I don't imagine they have the complex wine rotation involving hiding it in the freezer that I do. Or did.

Sybil and Rose, yes to the Schloer plan - great thinking. It's going to hot tomorrow (aka rose weather), so it will be handy to have a drink planned up front.

And I love the play the tape forward idea too, jojo. I hate weekends at the moment due to feeling crap and irritated. It would be lovely to start looking forward to them and enjoying spending time with my DP and DS.

Here's to Day 5 tomorrow which I am starting with a 7am outdoor swim! I figure if I start my day with something crazy healthy I will get those endorphin's pumping and stay focused!

It's really lovely to meet you all. Thank you for such a warm welcome.

jojo great honesty with your mates is it liberating?

rose stunning honesty with your boss! I wish I was as open. Well done.

And congrats on your award, matron. For you:

Hi Shark lovely to meet you too and I'm so glad your friend reacted like that most people are realising how crap they feel after drinking and prefer not to have a hangover!! Congrats Matron on the award plan a pamper day for the day after really treat yourself you deserve it!

Sybil love Shloer with ice it's making evenings much more pleasant! Love the play the tape forward mentality! Love the positivity here and would be lost without everyone here so thank you all xxxx

Thank you Matron it was hard to be honest but I have the most amazing boss/friend and she has even told the managers that are paying and will encourage drinking that I can't drink due to health reasons so not to tempt me very lucky and I've just got to do this otherwise I will avoid all social functions

I do feel quite calm about the birthday night actually matron, it is liberating being honest. Am visualising a lovely meal, a good natter with my two oldest friends and some nice mocktails. I have a nice outfit to wear and I want to look and feel good at the end of the night not be a staggering mess with a hideous no-sleep night ahead of me. Finally I will be sophisticated!!!

Definitely imagine everyone naked, it's always good for a giggle!! And just think how poised and elegant and sober you will be accepting your award!

That's great rose - I don't imagine you will be very long at the ice bar - from what have seen its bloody cold! ( being a giant fridge and all that ) !

shark I used to think about alcohol all the time, when, what , how I could drink, how much alcohol there was in the house, when could I legitimately start drinking. I think about it much less now (62 days) ... I expect there are more people than we realise struggling with the "wine witch" ....

Welcome from me too SharkSkin :)
Matron congrats re award!! I second sneaky AF substitute for fizz, plus I would see if they've any Becks Blue for pre-dinner drinks or failing that a tonic water will look like a G&T and sparkling mineral water with dinner is perfectly acceptable. You can do this and also second/third BIG sober treat post event

Ha ha Lily anyone who knows me knows I will love the ice bar it's -5 degrees constantly and u get gloves and a cape to wear I hate the heat I'm constantly in a vest top even in winter naturally hot blooded lol xxx

matron congratulations on your award! Sorry was posting a bit fast and didn't pick that up. Sounds seriously impressive. I am very taken with the idea of AF substitute for fizz at an event. Have a couple of things coming up where that would work.

lily - agree about there being more people struggling than we know. Alcohol is just so normal and accepted when there should be alarm bells clanging that it's destructive. That's what I meant really about the stereotype - its easy to think if you don't fit the stereotype, there's no problem but perhaps reality is more complicated.

This is deep for a Thursday evening. I am going away for an early night as very busy day tomorrow. Night, all!

welcome shark - you sound very much like me. You are doing brilliantly. As you have already seen there is loads of lovely support here. I couldn't have got this far without this board so keep posting away.

matron huge congratulations. I might have missed you saying but when is the presentation ?

jojo sybil rose glad and happy you are all doing great.

lily I am so pleased you are feeling better. My ankle is lots better but I am going to take tomorrow off and make a fresh start on Monday. I would never have done that when I was drinking but now I definitely have more focus on self-care. I feel strong today.

Boodles Once how's it going ?

slim I hope things are settling now you know the situation with your DH. You sound upbeat -that's good

lucy L glutamine arriving tomorrow !

Hello to everyone I haven't name checked. It's been so busy on here today.

Thank you for all the congratulations.

If we think about all the wonderful achievements between us and know that it has been done by us below peak performance the mind boggles at what could be achieved in the sober future.

vxa2 I've got a few weeks to prepare myself. I hope the rest at home as given you a boost. x

Evening all sober warriors

Just got in, knackered, so a fly-by post from me I'm afraid. Just wanted to welcome shark , congratulate matron and say how glad I am that lily is feeling a bit better today .

all, off to bed with me, sweet sober dreams.

what I want now is to be sober and achieve the really big things like being truly present for my family and giving myself a healthy mind and body, no award tops that.

Oh and getting my marriage on track.

Just a small wish list then