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Original poster

I've just abandoned my very drunk/high dh in central London in favour of getting ds home

689 replies

HoldingPatternDone · 30/04/2016 22:54

Namechanged yet again as all this is so, so identifying. Dh has struggled with addictions and after a peaceful few months it came to a head today when we saw his family.

He was being aggressive to everyone and when our bus arrived he wouldn't get on so I've just taken myself and ds home. Now he won't answer his phone and I feel awful I've abandoned him but our son is only 3 and I've got to get him home. I can't help feeling so guilty and bad and am both dreading and wishing him home. What do I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
HoldingPatternDone · 02/05/2016 18:58

I am still thinking about him and his feelings. It's hard not to. He's lovely when he's not off his face.

OP posts:
Lweji · 02/05/2016 18:59

It was a waste of money when he got them.
Now, it's just getting rid of illegal drugs he left in your home. Are you actually going to hand them to him? What is that saying? That you're ok with his drug use?

BonerSibary · 02/05/2016 18:59

OP I'm thinking if your periods are bad enough that you need prescription only medication for the pain, there might be an underlying cause the GP could help with? I don't just mean getting you some appropriate painkillers, but finding out why you're in so much pain and seeing if something could be done to make them less painful. You don't mention whether you've done this already but if not, give it some thought. They may be able to address the problem at source instead of just treat the symptoms.

Lweji · 02/05/2016 19:02

I get pretty bad periods. High ibuprofen doses sort it for me. So does the mini pill. You don't need painkillers that weren't prescribed to you.

AnyFucker · 02/05/2016 19:02

"it's a waste of money"

Seriously folks, we all wasting our time here

AvonCallingBarksdale · 02/05/2016 19:03

It's not just one bag of weed. It's about £60 worth of weed and skunk. It's a waste of money

Jesus wept. a) that's not a lot of money b) the "waste" was buying it in the first place. c) Your DS is in the house with £60 worth of weed and skunk. ergo, you need to get rid of that.

Original poster
HoldingPatternDone · 02/05/2016 19:05

bonar I've had a lap and dye. No endo or anything else. They have always just been awful.

lweji I realise I'm going to be face to face with him soon and don't need another reason to piss him off.

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 02/05/2016 19:06

Sorry now you sound like a massive twat.... you shouldn't want that nasty shit in your house.

Afreshstartplease · 02/05/2016 19:07

Op you want a spade?

LizKeen · 02/05/2016 19:07

I don't doubt that he is lovely. But he is not a suitable father or partner.

£60 of skunk was a waste of money when he bought it. Now its just sitting there, connecting you to him.

Its a waste of life. His life, your life, your sons life.

£60 is a weeks shopping in this house. Or a day out. Or some new toys for your DS. Or some new clothes for you.

I could weep when I think of the £hundreds that my ex wasted on fucking weed and skunk. The debt I got into trying to keep him on an even keel. Trying to placate him.

I would weep more if I had wasted anymore of my life, or my daughters life, on him. He had 2 years. And it was 2 years too long.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 02/05/2016 19:07

How can you possibly convince yourself that you'll not get back with him, when you can't even dispose of a measly 60 quid's worth of weed and skunk because, boo hoo, your DH will flip if it's not there. Fingers crossed your DS doesn't happen upon your stash, I guess.

wannabestressfree · 02/05/2016 19:07

For someone who says he isn't violent and your not scared of him that's not the impression your giving.

Original poster
HoldingPatternDone · 02/05/2016 19:08

AF you're not wasting your time I promise. It's not that I want to smoke it or anything. I'm just really hard up and that for me is a lot.

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 02/05/2016 19:09

And.....
It's dead money. Get rid

Lweji · 02/05/2016 19:09

So, what's happening to the drugs?

Goingtobeawesome · 02/05/2016 19:11

So are you planning on turning it into money?

AvonCallingBarksdale · 02/05/2016 19:11

So, what, are you planning on selling the drugs Confused Because, unless you are, it's not £60 is it? It's just a bag of shit that, really, you shouldn't have to even think about disposing of.

LizKeen · 02/05/2016 19:11

So are you going to sell it then? Because that is the only way it will affect your purse now.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 02/05/2016 19:12

x-posts. OP, may I ask how old you are? Sorry if you've already mentioned it.

AnyFucker · 02/05/2016 19:14

The money is already gone. All that is left is a huge symbol of everything that is fucked up in your life.

AnyFucker · 02/05/2016 19:15

The reason you are "hard up" is because you and your husband have been spunking money on drugs. Don't you get it ?

Original poster
HoldingPatternDone · 02/05/2016 19:16

No I'm not going to sell it. What? You think I'm going to run down the road to his dealer and see if he wants it back?? I'm just saying, that's all. I have no need for it. I can take it or leave it.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/05/2016 19:16

Absolute rubbish

MetallicBeige · 02/05/2016 19:18

Are childcare services involved with your family Op? For your son's sake I hope they are.
Every day you continue in this relationship your son is being emotionally abused. As well as the increasing risk of physical abuse. The damage to your son's emotional and psychological development will be significant, please put him first. None of this is ok.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 02/05/2016 19:19

Please try not to lose perspective. It's very difficult to take a hard line with an addict if you love them but you need to. Your judgement of the situation is getting clouded by your feelings for your Dh.
If he gets in contact, he will be on his best behaviour and telling you what you want to hear. It will be all too easy to slip back to where you were and you've come this far. Don't let it be for nothing.

Keep reminding yourself why you are doing this. Write it down or look at your previous posts. Look at your son.
To me, the weed is not a big issue. If you can't chuck it because of his reaction then he isn't as lovely as you think. Wrap it all up in a bag and tape and put it away if you have to.

Breaking up with him is going to be difficult and painful but it will be worth it. Think about where you could be in a few years time without him and the good things you have to come.