I've just abandoned my very drunk/high dh in central London in favour of getting ds home

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Namechanged yet again as all this is so, so identifying. Dh has struggled with addictions and after a peaceful few months it came to a head today when we saw his family.

He was being aggressive to everyone and when our bus arrived he wouldn't get on so I've just taken myself and ds home. Now he won't answer his phone and I feel awful I've abandoned him but our son is only 3 and I've got to get him home. I can't help feeling so guilty and bad and am both dreading and wishing him home. What do I do?

pseudo I've told another friend who's taking ds tomorrow so I can work. I didn't exactly tell her everything but she's supportive. I know I'm being totally shit about telling family but I'll get there. Ds is very content today and hasn't asked about Daddy.

Please give me a break. I'm really trying here. I'm sad and tired and have gone through a lot in the last few days.

Dailymail you aren't enabling your bullying.... give her time. I agree telling her family is important but she will get there. These are huge steps...
You have already admitted it took you time. She has had 48 hours since the last events. Patience......

The weed does need to go though. See it as symbolic.

She is though.... she is trying..you can clearly see that. We are supposed to be supportive. You have driven off maryz with your back of a cereal packet psychology and I am frightened you will do the same to the op....
Let.it.go

Yes I have issues with a few things. I'm getting help for that. I wish you wouldn't call me an addict. I'm feeling down right now.

If it wasn't for online help in the last few months I'd have forgiven and forgotten what dh did once again so actually you and everyone has been really helpful. Yes I've got to tell family but this isn't a soap and things don't happen when everyone thinks it should.

I'm working up to getting rid of the weed.

One step at a time, but getting rid of the weed is easy. You don't need to work up to that. Why is that difficult for you? Genuine question.

Please don't take anymore drugs that weren't prescribed for you when alone with your child at least.

Very silly to take drugs not meant for you and how many years really? Most drugs are two years max ime.

Why do you need to work up to disposing of the weed ?

Go flush it down the toilet. Do it now.

daily this is the second thread I've seen you bullying and hectoring people on. You need to know when to back off.

Lovey, get rid of the weed now.

It is symbolic.

By hanging onto it you are leaving yourself open to

1. letting him back and then he can smoke it in his own house

2. you smoking it when you feel low enough to let yourself off the hook for doing so

Get rid of it. You will feel better.

Lovey, could you talk us through what you feel when you think about getting rid of the weed? Is it fear? If so, what are you afraid of? His reaction? Your loss of a crutch? What?

If you can isolate exactly what you're feeling, you can start to deal with things and heal

You don't have to tell us, but of course we can try to help you unpick things if you wish, but even if it's only you that can pull this all together, it's a start.

Could you access therapy/support? If your little one is only 3, you can still access health visitor support, it's a start

I know he'll want it back and he'll flip if it's not there.

I don't want anything to affect ds. He's my everything. I'm already getting drug and alcohol counseling.

Just say it's not here and I haven't seen it. You Don't have to tell him diddly squat.

He needs to get to rock bottom to face up to problem and seek help
Get some advise from Al a non and AA etc
But basic rules for dealing with this are
Leave him
Don't mop up after him
Leave him
Video him and play back when sober
Protect your child from this by leaving him, otherwise your child will think this behaviour is ok
Really really sorry this is happening to you

I'm working up to getting rid of the weed

Just get rid of it. If you don't it will be temptation for you.

Your DS's memory of today is going to be of his stoned Dad being dumped in London.
Not the zoo, not the aquarium, his Dad being shit faced and loud and nasty.

You keep saying you put your DS first. How many more times are you going to post yet another tragic story like this one - then complain because you dont think people are being nice enough to you?

You know you need help and to make changes,. so time to put your money where your mouth is.

I know he'll want it back and he'll flip if it's not there.

You are still thinking too much about him, his feelings, his needs. Stop. It is not about him. It is about your son. And your son should not be in a house with a bag of weed.

So what if he flips? You aren't letting him back in, so he can flip elsewhere. It has nothing to do with you anymore. You say he won't be coming back, but do you really believe that deep down? Or is your mindset still firmly within the relationship?

Just flush the weed down the toilet - his reaction is not your responsibility. Who cares if he flips?? Your DS shouldn't be in the house with a bag of weed anyway. Come on, OP

It's not just one bag of weed. It's about £60 worth of weed and skunk. It's a waste of money