I've just abandoned my very drunk/high dh in central London in favour of getting ds home

[HoldingPatternDone]

Namechanged yet again as all this is so, so identifying. Dh has struggled with addictions and after a peaceful few months it came to a head today when we saw his family.

He was being aggressive to everyone and when our bus arrived he wouldn't get on so I've just taken myself and ds home. Now he won't answer his phone and I feel awful I've abandoned him but our son is only 3 and I've got to get him home. I can't help feeling so guilty and bad and am both dreading and wishing him home. What do I do?

"Can you not see what it may be an issue in OP case?"

Yes, and it has been discussed and the OP has been given good advice. Haranguing her about it may drive her away and is diverting attention from the main issue which is supporting Holding at a very difficult time.

Please can we focus again on helping her find the strength to give herself and her DS make a clean start away from her H.

Right, phone is charging. Really the tramadol isn't an issue. As I only take the safe amount it doesn't have an affect on my mind. They were prescribed but not for me. For dh a few years back. They're almost out of date.

Really the tramadol isn't an issue. As I only take the safe amount it doesn't have an affect on my mind. They were prescribed but not for me. For dh a few years back.

They aren't even your medication. Please please see your GP!

Oh dear op please stop taking them

Gamerchick I'm assuming you're not an addict though?! Your comment about your own painkiller collection is irrelevant.

People who are not addicts can have alcohol, weed or prescription drugs in the house if they choose to. They can use pain killers just to kill pain. They can drink a glass of wine as they like the taste. They can get a slight buzz off half a joint.

Wow your last post OP.

You are nowhere near a point of truth and honesty are you?

I doubt most of what you've told us and yourself about your recent drug use is true.

You have been warned.

Op, do you see why we are saying what we are, love ?

Please can we focus again on helping her find the strength to give herself and her DS make a clean start away from her H.

You focus on what you want - I believe she needs to focus on telling herself the fucking truth! She speaks, minimises, normalises and lies like an addict. She has drug issue herself and while she refuses to face the truth she's in danger of taking OH back. Co-dependence is real.

I'm going to meetings lemonade I'm not smoking at all. I get very bad period pain and found they help. I'll go to the gp and ask for something else.

Holding you need to take the tramadol to a chemist or give it to your DH's family to store for him since it's his medicine, I don't think it's a good idea to give it to him at the moment. It is illegal to take someone else's prescription medicine. Please get yourself to the doctors and get something more appropriate. Tramadol is a strong drug, please don't take it without proper medical advice. The GP will be able to prescribe you something more suitable, there are many drugs you should try for period pain before resorting to something as drastic as Tramadol.

That aside, how are you getting on now? Has your DH tried to contact you?

I'm not taking him back. As much as it hurts, I'm not.

Cross post. Good to hear you say you'll go to GP

Jesus wept!

OK, a truce.

If Holding agrees to speak to her GP about period pain, can we stop going on about the bloody Tramadol?

Holding would that work for you?

This thread is mean to be about supporting the OP breaking from her H, I get the concerns about the Tramadol. I really do, but how about we talk to the OP about it after she's left her H and leave it for now?

Please can we focus on the matter in hand?

Poor Holding does not deserve a lecture about Tramadol right now, no matter how well deserved when she's in the middle of a precarious situation, finally leaving away from her H.

I'm going to ignore you arand as you don't know what you're talking about.

I do.

Cross post!

Holding has agreed to go to the GP, brilliant.

Now, let's leave it for now at least?

Really Lemonade?

You know that the OP won't leave this thread if we make it all about her drug own use rather than supporting her getting away from her H?

How do you know that?

Yes I've spoken with him today. He sounds like he's ok. He's got someone to stay with. It's like we avoided the main issue so no arguments. it sounds weird but I think we are both so rubbish at dealing with real life we were just chatting like he's gone voluntarily.

Please, please, please take those Tramadol to your GP and ask for more appropriate painkillers. They were not prescribed for you, so you shouldn't be taking them.

I know we are all haranguing you, but you need to understand that it is clear to us that you aren't being honest with yourself or anyone else.

"I'm not taking him back. As much as it hurts, I'm not."

Holding that's great news. This bit will be tough, but it will get easier, I promise.

At some point you will look back and be so relieved that you left him.

I'm sorry but tramadol can be prescribed for periods.

Maybe. However it isn't the OP prescription.

I very much doubt a GP would prescribe a highly addictive drug to an addict.

it sounds weird but I think we are both so rubbish at dealing with real life we were just chatting like he's gone voluntarily.

You both really need to start being honest with yourselves and each other.

it sounds weird but I think we are both so rubbish at dealing with real life we were just chatting like he's gone voluntarily

I suggest you talk to him as little as humanly possible. Detach. Get your ducks in a row. The more you talk to this reasonable version of your dh, the man you 'know and love', the more you will begin to forget the other night.

Of course you are both rubbish at dealing with real life, that's why addicts are addicts.

If you feel up to telling anyone else in real life I think you could really do with some external support. This isn't easy on your own. I hope your DS is able to be a bit more relaxed without your DH around, maybe seeing that will be just what you need to stick to your guns. I know you've taken a lot of flack here so well done for sticking around, there's a lot of people here rooting for you. You can do this, you have done this, he's gone, now just keep him gone and focus on you and your DS.