I've just abandoned my very drunk/high dh in central London in favour of getting ds home

[HoldingPatternDone]

Namechanged yet again as all this is so, so identifying. Dh has struggled with addictions and after a peaceful few months it came to a head today when we saw his family.

He was being aggressive to everyone and when our bus arrived he wouldn't get on so I've just taken myself and ds home. Now he won't answer his phone and I feel awful I've abandoned him but our son is only 3 and I've got to get him home. I can't help feeling so guilty and bad and am both dreading and wishing him home. What do I do?

You're not getting rid of his weed because he'll want it back! What the fuck are you thinking?!

You are not stating facts. There have been other times.

hitting objects is classed as physical violence.

phequer lemonade I am there finally and I'm not minimising or lying on this thread at all. I've never out of it in front of my son. I really haven't.

So the hitting of inanimate objects...that happened without being coupled with shouting, screaming, anger and verbal abuse? Your son was asleep will be the next 'statement of fact'. Because kids never hear abusive parents when they are upstairs...right?

I didn't know that's classed as physical violence.

I don't know what the plan is but it doesn't involve him coming back.

Do you have a chronic illness? If not leave the tramodol alone. Get rid of the drugs in your house. What if your son found them? This is your fresh start and they need to go....

Ok, I know you won't believe but weed is only a temptation if I'm with him.
No I don't have a chronic illness but I do get fuckers of periods and it helps.
I wouldn't put them in reach of my son.

HoldingPatternDone ignore the moralising about weed. If you want to keep it a little in the cupboard to help with period pain then do so.

Just treat it like any other medicine and keep it out of the reach of your DS but I expect you know that very well.

This is a red herring.

You need to reach out to your family - you are going to need them very soon . Do they live near you ? How often do you see them ? how well does your son know his grandparents ?

You need to see the GP about your periods. Tramadol is a class C controlled drug only available on prescription. Your GP will be able to prescribe something far more suitable for you.

Please listen to the good advice on here.

1. Get rid of all the illegal drugs in your house
2. Get rid of the abusive boyfriend
3. Tell your family

If you don't do the above someone somewhere might contact social services and it will be taken out of your hands.

Oh sorry I misread. I thought you wanted it for you periods.

You're keeping the weed to give back to him?

When are you expecting to see him?

Bin it. One less thing to hold you to him.

aranomname

Really unhelpful. We are not 'moralising' or pearl clutching about weed. I know loads of people that smoke weed in their 40s and 50s, it's not a problem. They can take or leave it and smoke here and there, just like others can have a glass of wine or two here and there. If they are not addicts!

You obviously have not seen OP's other threads.

Weed is the primary addiction for OP's h which has lead time and time again to abuse of alcohol, cocaine and other drugs. Weed and booze has been a big problem for OP too. If you are an addict then you have to cut it all out - particuarly the core addiction.

Op I've really admired your honesty here and on your previous threads. What you've heard others tell you can't be easy, so it proves you do have considerably more strength than you might believe. Had I been told everything you have I probably would have run a mile and buried my head in the sand, but you haven't. I do agree though that you're minimising and the morning after the night (s) before is a dangerous time because you can be tricked into thinking it's really not that bad. It is and I do hope you read back over previous posts to remind yourself. I'm rooting for you to stay resolute that he's not coming back. I think getting rid of the weed will be a good way of telling yourself, and him, that you mean it. Baby steps, op.

You need help to do this.

Whenever you find yourself 'confused' because he is calm and nice just remember your precious 3year old being clingy the other morning.

He was clingy because he was shit scared due to his dad's violent aggressive behaviour.

He was clinging to you for reassurance. Damage is already being done to your child.

No I haven't read Holding's other threads.

Holding if weed is a problem for you then of course it has to go. But I expect you know that really?

Just bin it, it's not valuable, it's just a bit of plant. Let it go.

I have no words of wisdom OP and I don't think that I have read your previous threads but what an awful situation you are in

I hope you're being completely honest when you say that your partner will not be coming back to live with you. I can't imagine what sort of a life your little boy has had so far. For his sake as much as yours, you must speak to your family in order to get support. It's vital in my opinion. Yes they might be shocked, disappointed, blah blah blah but ultimately, you are their daughter and your son is their grandchild. In twenty years time, wouldn't you want to hope that your child could come to you with such problems?

Do the right thing. now!