I've just abandoned my very drunk/high dh in central London in favour of getting ds home

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Namechanged yet again as all this is so, so identifying. Dh has struggled with addictions and after a peaceful few months it came to a head today when we saw his family.

He was being aggressive to everyone and when our bus arrived he wouldn't get on so I've just taken myself and ds home. Now he won't answer his phone and I feel awful I've abandoned him but our son is only 3 and I've got to get him home. I can't help feeling so guilty and bad and am both dreading and wishing him home. What do I do?

Toast is a bloody good painkiller of choice. You're doing really well right now, well done on telling a friend - you've taken the first step towards no longer covering for him and honestly once you stop, it's so liberating.

Great news you've told a friend. It's the first step! We're all rooting for you

and lots of hand holding.

You have made a massive leap in the right direction today. You should be very proud of yourself. Keep taking it one step at a time. Telling your friend was a big thing, as is telling your family, but the relief you will feel when it is out in the open will be monumental.

As for your in-laws, I know they wouldn't take him in, but is there any way they could help otherwise, such as with DS or being there with you if your DH kicks off? He seems to be burying his head in the sand and the realisation that you are serious could trigger a negative reaction in him.

Also, get that bolt on the door, or fix the existing lock ASAP.

And remember, it is OK to ask other people for help.

Mary, you don't have to explain yourself

You are projecting, daily

You are talking about a partner. Mary has had to deal with her son.

Very different dynamic.

he was a child himself at the time and had no place to go - believe me, we tried, we called the police, we called social services (who offerered him, at 14, a place in an adult homeless hostel full of drug addicts where abuse and prostitution were rife)

Did you read this ^^?

Your adult ex and a 13 to 16 year old child cannot be compared daily. I'm not sure why you would go there on this thread.

Anyway, I have no wish to position myself anywhere here.

I just wanted to speak up for Mary. She has been a huge support for many people in similar situations on here.

I am a tough cookie but I don't think I would be able to cast my own son out of the family at all easily. A partner, yes.

But none of us really know...unless we are in that unique situation, I guess.

Daily, I am sorry for your own experiences but I think you should leave it now

Let him think it is a cooling off period if integers him out. It can be one that juts lasts forever..

Ffs. If it gets him out. ....just lasts forever

Mary, I don't post often so you don't know me at all, but I wanted to let you know I read your post about your DS a few years ago - how you handled it and you were a big help to me and my family, when we were going through a similar situation.

Holding, well done for telling your friend, it's a big step, you're breaking the spell.

Can you accept her offer to go stay for a few days? Get a clear head and have a few days without having to worry about your ex coming home?