Going out of my mind, husband leaving/left/thinking/pissing about PART 2

[garlicbreathing]

Follow on to my first thread about the lead up to the leaving, to the conversation to the aftermath. And it's a big aftermath.

First Part here- www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2622798-Im-about-to-lose-my-mind-here-I-think-DH-is-going-to-leave-me-tonight

Did somebody just get 'Rick rolled '?

I'd forgotten rick rolled was a thing!

Seeing new guy tonight for dinner. Had no contact from ex since Tuesday. Had such a positive last couple of days.

Good on you Garlic!
Keep going.

Just spent the last 4 hours reading both threads. Wow garlic you have really been given the run around and by the way ex has treated you I would say he was controlling of you and your emotions.
I'm so glad you have a better outcome with new man.
But how has the dog been coping?

Wow 6demand, 4 hours! I'm amazed that people have been following and still helping me through these latest dramas! I think the amazing people on mumsnet have had more patience with this than my RL friends, and I am so grateful for those who are still continuing offering me advise and support. It has helped so much!

Things with new man are very new. And I'm not looking for the next big relationship.. yet. But I'm happy to have someone lovely who is being kind and loving towards me.

I worry about my dog. He's such a little happy thing though, and he is getting through it all so well. But at the same time, I think he misses his daddy and it's all such a big change for him. He loves spending time at my parents house, so when I'm living back there I think he will settle in well.

Give us an update garlic! Hope u r feeling ok and have some fun stuff (wink wink) arranged with the new man this weekend! Some distractions, a few drinks, a bit of a flirt, someone to make u feel wanted and a laugh is exactly what u need in times like this! Have fun x

I think your ex really quite liked having you ringing your hands worrying over what might have caused him to end your marriage and have you dancing every tune to try and fix it.

Then you started moving on and he backtracked.

At the time you slept with Rick you had been dumped, and already dangled with for a great length of time.

Please do remind your fuckwit ex of this every time he attempts to make you feel bad.

Oh. And don't feel bad

One more thing. Every time you hear the word "controlling" in reference to you or your mum, do your nut. I mean loudly and with white hot fury.

Surely any "controlling" has been done by your husband.
He's been calling the shots all through this mess.

To be fair to my ex, he's been doing the controlling because I have really taken a back step after all the things he said previously. I've given him far too much time than he deserves to 'think', but all of his thinking was related around his plans about getting me out of the flat. So I took it as over. I don't know how he can think I cheated on him, and I don't even see how he can be offended that I moved on so quickly when he was the one who did this to me.
I no longer feel bad.
He popped around to pick up an item of clothing earlier. General, polite chit chat, but nothing more. Onwards and forwards is my new catchphrase

Ready to go out on my 'date' with Rick Shall keep you all updated.

Well done you, Garlic!

Had a lovely evening and day today with 'rick'. He's such a sweet guy, and so loving towards me. He even met my brother as I was taking my car for its mot. And my brother thought he was a nice guy. So that's a mega plus!

I think my dog will be fine. I took him with me to stay at 'rick's last night and they were so good together.

No update yet from my ex about whether the mortgage is sorted.

Good on you! Have fun x

Lovely to hear you're enjoying yourself!

Thrilled to read this update. Wishing you all the happiness in the world. I'm so relieved you have escaped wasting any more of your precious time with your ex. He's just not for you, you deserve so, so so much more. All the best x

Thanks all

Texted ex today to see about whats happening with the mortgage. He told me that he didn't get it, but is now seeing another bank on Thursday. Looking more likely that we will be going down the selling route.

Why didn't he just text you with this info ? Making you run after him for info is more manipulation.
Delighted you are out enjoying being with Rick & not being played like a cat with a mouse.

Communication with my ex has taken such a dip since we had the conversation about there not being a chance to fix things. He was over Friday evening collecting a jacket, and failed to mention to me then about his mortgage news. And despite our conversations about him wanting to see the dog more, he has not popped over to see him or been in contact asking to see him.
I don't mind terribly much. It's giving me plenty space to not have my judgements clouded by my love for him. Rick is providing a lovely distraction, and helping me see that I can move on.

Rosie, I am so sorry to read about what happened to you, but so pleased you got through it! I'm so pleased your lovely dog had a happy life in the end.

My ex should miss the dog, he was utterly smitten with him, as am I. He came by today and took him for a walk when I was still in work, so that's something I suppose.

The distance between us is making this easier. I'm in two minds about reminding him of the fertility appointment we have on Wednesday. Obviously, we are not continuing with any treatment, but we have both had tests that we need to get the results for. So I think for that reason I will remind him, hoping that he decides not to come.

Rick is a good guy and I hope I don't end up leading him on just to break his heart down the line. He knows the situation though, I've been super honest with everything. So for now, a bit of fun and distraction and we shall see how things go :)

Good to hear you are doing ok Garlic, Rick is making me smile, glad you have him as a distraction.

How are your parents now?