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Original poster

Financial Abuse - AlmostFreeMo - Part 4

997 replies

AlmostFreeMo · 26/04/2016 06:51

Next Fred...

OP posts:
Funko · 02/05/2016 00:30

😄🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷😄

Akire · 02/05/2016 00:51

Buys job lot of red bull and paracetamol for the morning......

Akire · 02/05/2016 00:52

Rolls out red carpet for mo down the stairs because you should feel like a super star... Even in pjs and your hairs a mess :)

notquitethefullshilling · 02/05/2016 01:30

De-lurking to join you in a small sherry, Mo! Followed all your threads and I think you are amazing :) xx

tothefareast80 · 02/05/2016 06:05

Also de-lurking Mo - I've followed all your threads but haven't ever felt as though I could give you any advice that would differ to that you've already received. But I did want to say that throughout the threads, your absolute love and dedication to your children has shone through. Best of luck for the coming days and weeks - you've come so far and your children will thank you for it. WineFlowers

velocitygir1 · 02/05/2016 06:54

You are my heroine mo!!! You have done so well (hope that's not condescending) you are an inspiration...I've followed you every step of the way and loved seeing your confidence sore throughout.

Now get the locks changed and tell the fucker to never darken your life again (if only!!!)

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 02/05/2016 07:10

IhateDM, that'd probably be the first time Akire ever got carried into a pub...

runs and ducks< Grin

mix56 · 02/05/2016 08:21

could I have that paracetamol now please?

Akire · 02/05/2016 09:17

You are very funny! preemtiveSalvageEngineer

Sets up temporal first aid station , here you go Mix56 💊💊☕️

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 02/05/2016 10:15

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer Grin

Akire, can I have one of those pills too? Feel rotten this morning...

OP posts:
Roseformeplease · 02/05/2016 10:34

I have extra strength pills. Was up all night toasting Mo!

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 02/05/2016 10:54

Blame me everyone!

Right, time to stop moping and actually do something now.

Twatchops hasn't paid his money due first of the month and I doubt that cuntcard has been topped up - I am about to find out though. Btw this is not me begging for money. I have emergency help for when this happens.

I've chased him for it and I will chase him again if I need to. I'll have to Skype if necessary to see what his reasoning or excuse this time is. Because we're officially separated now and he gets it that he thinks he doesn't need to pay at all for his kids any more? Must be something like that.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 02/05/2016 11:09

What are the "rules" btw, if any, about moving to a new area with your children after divorce or separation, for contact reasons? Is there a limit on how far you can go? In an unamicable situation I mean. I'm thinking of my options now.
I've tried so hard to get my kids into a particular local school - and succeeded - yet I can't believe I'm thinking about moving again. But it might have to happen.

OP posts:
Mamia15 · 02/05/2016 11:14

As far as I'm aware there are no rules re moving elsewhere within the UK.

PhoenixReisling · 02/05/2016 11:31

If you move, you may have to meet at a half way point for contact or he may expect you to do all drop offs/pick ups. I suppose that is what mediation is for and then court of course.

ElspethFlashman · 02/05/2016 12:07

On various threads on the subject people normally say 2 hrs + is too much on a practical level. The travelling is too hard on everyone and tempers fray quickly. Also it seems anecdotally that the parent who didn't move resents having to do the pick ups and demands the resident parent do it "it was your choice to move" etc.

So then the resident parent ends up doing all the Mon-Fri stuff and also doing 8 hrs driving every other weekend.

Even in "fair" cases you often have to drive halfway and hand over at a service station.

So the less travelling everyone has to do the more practical, really.

tribpot · 02/05/2016 12:18

I'd assume that factored in was maintaining the current level of contact between the kids and the NRP. Which is basically nil.

Akire · 02/05/2016 12:23

Great you are not just thinking of staying close by its good to consider all options in this case. You might be able stay close but does no harm look either.

Can't believe he not paid you food money what does he expect you to eat this week? Even if he hates you (and he appears not to have enough emotional engery to lit a match) surely you feed kids.

If he didn't I'd get food bank referral then post it on Facebook with a picture!

RandomMess · 02/05/2016 12:24

How far would it be?

Realistically how often do you think he would want sole care of 3 DC? Once a month????

kittybiscuits · 02/05/2016 12:33

You would also be demonstrating how you did not want to remove the children from their school - it isn't your preference - but is a financial necessity unless unless you keep access to the house under schedule 1 of the children's act. If there is no affordable housing close by then you are forced to move. One to talk to the solicitor about. I know you are not asking for or wishing for money. But if I knew your email address I would be delighted to PayPal you a couple of quid. I wouldn't ask him by Skype. I would ask him by email.

OrlandaFuriosa · 02/05/2016 12:56

I'd use Skype for the DCs to contact him and keep in touch, email or text, ie where you can keep a record and audit trail, for all contact between you and him.

Well done. Breathe, gets some fresh air to go with the paracetamol.

educatingarti · 02/05/2016 13:30

It may be that he will mess you around quite a bit with money over the nextvfew months. Is it worth preparing a word document. With stock sentences and paragraphs? Eg "supermarket card has not been topped up. Please sort immediately.". Then you can just copy and paste the relevant ones into an email each time without having to spend much energy on it.

Original poster
AlmostFreeMo · 02/05/2016 14:18

I was thinking of a place 2-3 hours' drive away. I could easily afford a family home there, know a few people and can be based anywhere if I freelance. The kids love it too. I might be drifting off into a fantasy world with this though.

He IS mucking about now. I've chased the money and resent messages. No response.

OP posts:
mix56 · 02/05/2016 14:25

In view of him presently not even being in the country I suppose you could literally move anywhere in the UK.

But if you assume he may live again in the UK (& if the house is sold), I am guessing he would choose an area near family/friends/job ?
You don't want to have to spend hours driving between A & B EOW. & you know already that he is going to make orders that you do at least half the travelling.
So, I think you should consider that.

Also, you will want to be in an area you can personally afford !
Where you can work, & as near to your besties/supporters club & family as possible

DistanceCall · 02/05/2016 14:27

That sounds very reasonable, Mo. And actually, I think that fantasising is a good idea at this point - you have been so restricted for so long, you should give free rein to your imagination for a change. You can make the decisions you need to make later.

He's a bastard of the first water. Perhaps a call to his parents might be in order? Or getting in touch with his friends? "Oh, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but I can't seem to get hold of Mr Cuntwallah, and I was wondering whether there might be a problem with my email account. You see, I need him to transfer money for me to feed the children rather urgently..."