I've met someone and want to ask him out

[ProfessorPickles]

I've recently met someone who has really taken me by surprise. I've been single for around 3 years now, apart from a short relationship, and I'd had very little interest in men for a long time until I met him.

He's good looking but what got me by surprise is his personality, he's very smiley and has a great sense of humour. He makes me laugh and is a genuinely nice person. I haven't met someone who's even caught my eye for a long, long time so it's a little bit exciting!

The problem however, is that he's a teacher at my university. Not my teacher, but I have contact with him occasionally.
We are a similar age (I'm a slightly older student) and I will be leaving in 2 months so would wait until then.

I have no idea if he is interested in me too, but I can't believe I've had my head turned after so long of being adamant I was going to be happily alone forever so I feel it would be foolish to just ignore it.

My idea was to give him a 'thank you' card/gift as I am leaving (for helping with my work, I'll be giving them to two other members of staff) and put my number inside. I thought this would be good so he can choose to take it or leave it, as it's potentially a little bit inappropriate?
If he isn't interested he can simply ignore it to spare me the embarrassment of asking to his face! Although, I've known several teachers to get together with students once they've left so I suppose it isn't that radical of an idea.

Best case scenario: We go on a date, fall in love, get married, have children and tour the country with our family band.

Worst case scenario: He never contacts me and life goes on.

It's worth a try surely?

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

Do you worry ProfessorPickles that he'll meet somebody else in the next two months? I'm not saying you should!

[ProfessorPickles]

Thanks Rake! all the threads of this kind that I've followed have always ended well, I hope this one does too

[ProfessorPickles]

I do yes, a little!! But unfortunately I can't act any sooner other than a bit of flirting and dropping hints so it's a bit out of my hands as I wouldn't want to say something before I leave because it's inappropriate!

When is your mechanic coming round??

[LovePGtipsMonkey]

I had a similar thread - left a note too but no result I'm afraid, because turns out he's not single. But so what? I've recently seen him after a year gap and we have just not mentioned it, he was nice, nothing lost! And you wouldn't even see him again if nothing happens. In your case though, you have all the chances esp after he blatantly encouraged you!
I love such threads too.

[stayathomegardener]

Yep... Following.

[LovePGtipsMonkey]

Prof, I think if you continue 'bumping into' him and gently flirting for these two months, it's safe enough to think he will not lose interest, in fact it wil prepare him and he will jump at it when he gets the note!

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

I agree with LovePGtipsMonkey If you are in his head he won't look elsewhere. I'm an incurable romantic!

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

My mechanic (swoon) is off on hols from 1-8 May as here in France practically the whole week is a bank holiday. He asked me to call him at the start of the following week to fix a time together.

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

Oops, sorry, the previous post was in response to your question ProfessorPickles!

[ProfessorPickles]

7 weeks left to go I hope it goes fast!
I'm seeing him next week and have a few things I am going to mention to see what he says.
I haven't laughed like I do when I'm with him in ages!

[ProfessorPickles]

Oooh ThisIs, you need to arrange a time where you can invite him in for food and wine or something near tea time?

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

The laughter is GOOD ProfessorPickles!

[LovePGtipsMonkey]

I'd just offer him a drink, don't cook for him yet, This - ha! It's also difficult to eat when you are this excited!

[LovePGtipsMonkey]

Prof, I'd love to meet someone like that- the guy I've sent my note to also won me over by making me laugh. But single men are like gold dust - so don't miss it! (but also try not to worry - I have a good feeling about it).

[ProfessorPickles]

It's a big shame he wasn't single PG, did he message you to say he wasn't single or did you find out from someone else?

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

LovePGtipsMonkey, were you getting signals from this guy before you found out he wasn't single?

[LovePGtipsMonkey]

yes it is a shame - he's nice! I did get some vibes and looks, but similarly to you, Prof, always met in 'official' environment, would've been also inappropriate for him to ask me out, but I could and I was also leaving. We both laughed so same sense of humour. I knew he was married before but the ring disappeared so I thought, interesting! (I knew him for a long time but at a distance) AND there were various non-verbal signals. But no, he didn't respond at all. Now when I met him recently again, the ring was back on! not sure if the same one - could be a new wife haha. So I assumed that when I sent the note he was going through something with ex or had a new woman on horizon, even though pretty sure he was attracted to me, but you know, not everyone can/does act on attractions, the timing needs to be right.

That's why I say, don't lose your golden opportunity as he won''t stay single forever AND he's giving you signs. And you have smth in common professionally.

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

The workplace is a huge limitation in my situation as well LovePGtipsMonkey. I've far too much respect for someone's professional space and reputation.

Over a week to go before I see him in a non-working environment (aka my place )

[ProfessorPickles]

I definitely don't want to leave it any longer than I have to, I'll be on the count down from 7 weeks and because I'm so busy with university I wouldn't have time now anyway! So it'll be good timing for me.

I just hope I'm not getting my hopes up for nothing!

[AnotherPrickInTheWall]

Just send him a message, dont fanny about. If he's available and likes you all good. If he's not well...it isn't the end of the world now is it?

[AnotherPrickInTheWall]

He might be thinking the very same thing.

[LovePGtipsMonkey]

yes, This, it's just at least with a mechanic it's not a 'no-no' like with teachers or similar (authority figures), but I can see of course you didn't want to be obvious at his work place. Also has he been a regular mechanic to you or just recent? in which case he know you may go to another place anytime.

Prof, well he's probably going to be v.busy too if involved with students, so all good. We don't want what exactly it will come to, but I think it will at least come to going for drinks and then see how YOU feel, whether you want to get to know him even more - some people aer slightly different from their work environment! He might be TOO keen for all you know haha. But as I say, atm all the good possibilities are there.

[ProfessorPickles]

Yes that's very true actually PG, I keep thinking about all the reasons why he might not like me, but actually it could end up where I'm not so keen on him!

[Rollinginthevalley]

I was with him this afternoon and it's made me feel a little unsure whether he likes me or not, he's generally very upbeat and friendly across the board

Can I sound a note of caution here? As an academic (middle-aged female) I've seen my younger personable male colleagues sometimes accosted by young women. I know from their FB pages that my presence when we're team-teaching is resented, because I am "in the way" of them "flirting" with my colleagues. My colleagues and I discuss these student infatuations - To be honest, my male colleagues find it all a bit embarrassing, and would rather their female students did not make such advances. More than once, I've been there to "protect" them as it were, from student advances.

Don't confuse professional friendliness and teacherly desire to assist you with a personal "liking" of you.

[Summerlovinf]

I agree with PP and also warn that there's a good chance he's not single