I've met someone and want to ask him out

[ProfessorPickles]

I've recently met someone who has really taken me by surprise. I've been single for around 3 years now, apart from a short relationship, and I'd had very little interest in men for a long time until I met him.

He's good looking but what got me by surprise is his personality, he's very smiley and has a great sense of humour. He makes me laugh and is a genuinely nice person. I haven't met someone who's even caught my eye for a long, long time so it's a little bit exciting!

The problem however, is that he's a teacher at my university. Not my teacher, but I have contact with him occasionally.
We are a similar age (I'm a slightly older student) and I will be leaving in 2 months so would wait until then.

I have no idea if he is interested in me too, but I can't believe I've had my head turned after so long of being adamant I was going to be happily alone forever so I feel it would be foolish to just ignore it.

My idea was to give him a 'thank you' card/gift as I am leaving (for helping with my work, I'll be giving them to two other members of staff) and put my number inside. I thought this would be good so he can choose to take it or leave it, as it's potentially a little bit inappropriate?
If he isn't interested he can simply ignore it to spare me the embarrassment of asking to his face! Although, I've known several teachers to get together with students once they've left so I suppose it isn't that radical of an idea.

Best case scenario: We go on a date, fall in love, get married, have children and tour the country with our family band.

Worst case scenario: He never contacts me and life goes on.

It's worth a try surely?

[SnoozeButtonAbuser]

What are you DOING op?! Give him the fucking card - anything could happen in 2 months. If you make your interest known and he doesn't go for it you have lost absolutely nothing, if he goes for it, you've got a lovely 'chat in the pub' to look forward to followed shortly after by loads of great sex, marriage, children and happily ever after. Do it now! Go for it. Good luck.

[LovePGtipsMonkey]

Snooze, yes but would be a bit strange to hand over a card two months in advance - if OP were to do something right now (and yes, in 2 months he could be snapped up!), then it';s best to suggest to him to discuss something over a coffee - then keep it friendly but with some flirting thrown in, so that by the time you leave, he will know he can ask you out once you leave.

[LovePGtipsMonkey]

ThisIs, well you'll have a perfect opportunity when he comes over to yours - and I'm actually sure HE will say something, you probably won't have to initiate. A younger man theme going on with you!
And NO after a year of building it up he won't lose interest in two weeks! mind you his interest might be just a bit of fun, but who knows.

[ProfessorPickles]

ThisIs - I was going to say the same, when he comes over to yours is the perfect opportunity! No work colleagues around, you could invite him in for a cuppa??

[ProfessorPickles]

Euphemia - no he has no influence on my course with marking etc, he's basically just a member of staff who has shown me how to use some equipment. He isn't directly involved in my course.


I was with him this afternoon and it's made me feel a little unsure whether he likes me or not, he's generally very upbeat and friendly across the board. We do talk a lot though more personally than he seems to with others, and he did make a joke about me only coming to see him. I said that I didn't usually come into the room because the woman running it before wasn't exactly friendly and he said "you only come to see me really" and was smiling. I wouldn't just say that to anyone, but maybe he would?

I now know he doesn't have kids also! No mention of a partner, I feel like the "do you have kids?" question would get a response of "no, I've only been with my partner 6 months" for example if he did. Or "we are thinking about it for in a few years time"

Whether I think he likes me or not I'll still give him my number, nothing to lose!

[oldlaundbooth]

ProfPickles

'Did nothing ever happen with your boss?'

Ahem. No, he was married, as was I

Glad to hear that there was lots of eye contact - always a good sign!

[ProfessorPickles]

Old - Wedding hats always get a mention on here, it makes me laugh!
It's probably good nothing did happen then still, it's nice to feel attractive and wanted sometimes I suppose!

[oldlaundbooth]

'"you only come to see me really"

Bada bing!

Flirting if ever I saw it.

[oldlaundbooth]

Thisistherightime

So, you have a job interview in the UK? And if you get this job, you'll be moving away from the mechanic?

'We arranged for him to come round after his week's holiday 1-8 May to pick up my old Jaguar as he knows I want to sell it and he's kindly willing to help me out.'

So he's coming over to yours to help sell your car? Invite him in for some baguette, du vin et un peu d'amour

[oldlaundbooth]

This is what i'll wear.

[ProfessorPickles]

Old - that is a rather snazzy (who do I think I am saying snazzy) hat! Very glamorous, and I love red.

Oh I hope he was flirting. I said yes I need to ask how old he is, he's definitely a similar age but I'm curious. He's slightly older, but I do love older men!

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

Ah, oldlaundbooth you made me smile! Yes, I do have an interview but there are some really interesting things happening here too in France and much as I love England I've been here for seventeen years so it's become home. And there are some very good-looking car mechanics in the neighbourhood. .

LovePGtipsMonkey thank you so much for your encouragement! I feel like a sixteen year old all over again. It's such a special feeling even if I think I'm a complete fool at times.

A cuppa, or perhaps something a little strong, ProfessorPickles? There's quite a lot of lovely wines here in the Loire Valley! How are you feeling today about your impending wedding?

[LovePGtipsMonkey]

ooh he is FRENCH mechanic! swoon. I bet something is going to happen on that day, This !

Prof, oh that's very encouraging - sounds like he likes and have noticed that you like him (if he thought you didn't he wouldn't have flirted) - so not such a poker face haha! Well done for quickly coming back with a 'yes', any blushing? Definitely sounds like the scene is ready for your note - are you going to wait till you aer leaving or do it soon? I'd still try a coffee/chat suggestion though if you think you can't hand him the note for another two months!

[LovePGtipsMonkey]

*likes you

[notagiraffe]

I think I'd be a bit more direct. You're grown up. I'd add a note that says 'Thank you for all your assistance with my project. It was inspiring to work with you and I'd love to stay in touch. ' Then add your number.

That way, you are not being overtly flirtatious but being really clear that if he called, you'll say yes to a drink.

[LovePGtipsMonkey]

yes 'I'd love to stay in touch' is good - though nothing wrong with asking him out for a drink yourself. Depends on your NEW level of bravery after his flirtation!

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

That's smart notagiraffe!

[Waltermittythesequel]

Yes, do what giraffe said.

You need to say you want to stay in touch or he might not bother.

Spell it out. What do you have to lose?

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

I get so fed up being hung up on the 'men should make the first move' theory. I'm not a pushy person but I do know what I want. Should I not care about the idea of making a fool of myself with a man if I'm gently upfront about my hopes with him?

[ProfessorPickles]

Yes I like that giraffe! It's just enough I think, shows I'm interested but isn't over the top!

I couldn't currently ask him for a drink or coffee, but on the last day we are going to the pub and our teachers are coming so it would actually be appropriate to invite him!

I wouldn't say something like "I bet you come to see me" unless I fancied them, going to try see him when it's quiet next week and do some more of my work.

I can't believe how he's got me feeling, I haven't felt like this for years! Even if nothing comes of it, it is keeping me happy for now!

[ThisIsTheRightTime]

That's exactly how I feel ProfessorPickles. I didn't expect to feel like a sixteen year old ever again!

[ProfessorPickles]

It's quite nice isn't it ThisIs
It's nice to have met someone who makes me laugh so much!