I've met someone and want to ask him out

[ProfessorPickles]

I've recently met someone who has really taken me by surprise. I've been single for around 3 years now, apart from a short relationship, and I'd had very little interest in men for a long time until I met him.

He's good looking but what got me by surprise is his personality, he's very smiley and has a great sense of humour. He makes me laugh and is a genuinely nice person. I haven't met someone who's even caught my eye for a long, long time so it's a little bit exciting!

The problem however, is that he's a teacher at my university. Not my teacher, but I have contact with him occasionally.
We are a similar age (I'm a slightly older student) and I will be leaving in 2 months so would wait until then.

I have no idea if he is interested in me too, but I can't believe I've had my head turned after so long of being adamant I was going to be happily alone forever so I feel it would be foolish to just ignore it.

My idea was to give him a 'thank you' card/gift as I am leaving (for helping with my work, I'll be giving them to two other members of staff) and put my number inside. I thought this would be good so he can choose to take it or leave it, as it's potentially a little bit inappropriate?
If he isn't interested he can simply ignore it to spare me the embarrassment of asking to his face! Although, I've known several teachers to get together with students once they've left so I suppose it isn't that radical of an idea.

Best case scenario: We go on a date, fall in love, get married, have children and tour the country with our family band.

Worst case scenario: He never contacts me and life goes on.

It's worth a try surely?

Excellent, Prof! Yes! It makes me smile thinking about how much I analyse everything here and he's probably keeping everything pretty much to himself.

This is so much fun and I'm very confident you will have a positive outcome.

So, before I head off to bed (up very early tomorrow) dear Muddle and LovePGtips seem to be tearing their hair out a little because I'm digging in my heels about not asking him out. Do you agree with them Prof?

I'm just not good at direct behaviour. Never have been. I've always been better at instigating conversations which can lead to....something.

I am so pathetic.

I'm almost bald ThisIs, I've torn it all out already in anticipation waiting for you to ask him!

It's funny isn't it, we are so excited and they've probably just thought "Pickles/This are alright aren't they"

If things work out I'll have all trace of me on MN wiped off the earth. I don't think I'll admit to the blatant stalking either

ThisIs it's because I am convinced that he is thinking "but ThisIs is confident and chatty and tactile, if she was really interested she would just say" - I think both of you are thinking pretty much the same, that if the other was really interested they would say, so neither of you do

I want happy summers of carefree romance for all of you.

And summer weddings next year ey Muddle? That'll be two hats you'll have to buy

...and spanners and tyres Muddle

See you tomorrow. x

Goodnight This! x

Prof, ooh he's looking into your room eh? caught him red-handed! did he go a bit flustered? pretty sure you aer both quite hooked even if you are slightly ahead in the deeper end!
How was his body-language today? Also you say you have a poker face but it's impossible to hide it when you are very happy to see someone! don't try too hard to appear neutral! though you probably don't actually appear that (haha).

This, so having said all this about the French, do you see yourself more French than English? I think so! I certainly would easily think you may be French or possibly Scandinavian from your style on here. But more French.Not the Parisian type maybe - I thought they were mainly grumpy in Paris! - but a good old French in a more traditional style, you know France is seen as a jolly country out of Paris (or has been historically at least) - joie de vivre is a French expression, after all! You come across as warmer and more feminine that many Brits - I love the feminism side of the British and the humour for me beats French humour hands down, BUT in terns of femininity and yet strength and an ability to charm- it's the French who win in my opinion (obviously many eceptions to the rul on both side!). I think both you and the mechanic aer so French in a way you interact. You are subtle and sophisticated and good at subtle chat, yet showed a bit of a passionate side - he is a bit in awe and nervous YET also showed a passionate side by holding your hand and changing his clothes in front of you - just text book romantic tension between a mature woman and a gorgeous guy. See the English wouldn't have shown that glimpse of passion if they were in awe/nervous/unconfident! The woman would have been either direct or very poker-faced but not mind-bogglingly in-between as you are (poor guy haha!). The guy would haev been jokey and a bit crude or also poker-faced but wouldn't have casually undressed and teased you that way! Your story is very charming, I find. And I thin he may still make his move - it's just I feel that you almost should do because it's all going to be on your terms. If he makes hte move it's to ask what would you want anyway. BUt yes, it's always nice when a man just throws it all away to do that.

I feel like I'm cool as a cucumber (haven't said that since I was a child ) but yes you're probably right, on the outside I'm probably blushing and grinning like an idiot. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I remember when he said the 'hot' comment and I just remember instantly going from strong eye contact to staring at my feet and being speechless

He was alright, not obviously flustered! But he made an effort to talk to me properly as he walked down the corridor asking about my weekend etc. Where others would just go "hello, just looking for so and so?" And be on their way.

I'm feeling so excited PG!!

This, re 'spanners and tyres' - I always think the smell of petrol is sexy around a young good looking guy!

I love the smell of petrol.

I could customise the hats, one with little tyres and oil cans and the other with graduation hats and blackboards and stuff. That wouldn't be weird at all .

Prof that's great he 's chatting you up a bit - could well be a warm-up for asking you out! You were planning to go and chat to him yourself in that way - so you are both on the same wavelength!
I know that grinning like an idiot feeling - it makes you happy and giddy yet you know you look unhinged to passer-by haha! Happened to me before but a while back - and then I was just like that coming out of that event where we held the gaze with the guy last time. Mind you after that (because of the situation) it quickly turned into be being emotional and close to tears - thankfully I didn't have to talk to anyone at that point - I did control it of course, and it's the joyous part that stick in your mind afterwards!

btw don't count on it - MN is not going to agree to erase all your traces on here, they once refused to delete my identifying thread for love nor money! I'm sure he will never read MN archives though!

It might be weird Muddle but it's our weddings so who cares. We would get the joke but even the grooms would be baffled

That's the downside for you with your situation isn't it PG, the high and low moments happen simultaneously in those sort of situations

That's odd PG, I thought they'd have to delete your thread if you asked!
I'm not too worried, although I occasionally panic someone I know is reading and knows it's me. Oh well!
If so, hello!

I worry too, Prof. But I very much doubt that non-parent youngish men read MN ha! I think if a colleague of yours read it, they could guess it was you if you shared about your interest in him - but I'm sure they would never tell him. And really you don't have to be anything ashamed of! it's sweet, this thread! Imagine if GF of the guy I like reads it - this one is not very identifying but I posted when I met him months ago and it was very identifiable if anyone knew him because stupidly I've hinted on his profession and name (I've NC'd since)! But no, no one laughed at me directly in RL yet!
cross posted with Muddle re petrol smell!

oh sorry it was a reply, Muddle - my head is obv too fuzzy!

Prof yes, exactly - the up and down ride. I did hit a low last week but I'm ok now, trying to think on the lines of 'well if he's happy with someone, he's not for me anyway' and 'if it's not meant to be between us, then I should just accept it that I only THINK he may be right for me but he actually isn't' You know, trying a philosophical outlook.

MN say they can only delete in extreme cases - otherwise they'd have to do it very often (obv many people ask) and it would upset the posters who contributed so then they don't contribute anymore! hmmm

I think that's a good outlook LovePG

I'm just hoping nobody clicks it's me, but like you say, it doesn't really matter! I've told several of my friends at uni anyway and wouldn't feel like it was the end of the world for anyone else to know really.

I'm glad you're ok now, it's exhausting having these things on your mind isn't it? It's still fresh in my mind from when I was attracted to the engaged man, and in the kindest way possible I don't envy you. It's hard because you can't reason with yourself or switch off from it with ease.

I once read something on here that REALLY made me laugh, it was along the lines of "if you really want to get over someone imagine them sat on the loo with their trousers round their ankles scratching their arse and picking their nose", it was a lot more detailed than that and so funny to read the way she wrote it. A lot more vulgar too if I remember correctly this PP suggested if you were still interested after that image then yes it's true love, haha!! Get picturing it and report back!

yes, they always advise this to people with crushes!
NO I don't want to mar my guy or my feelings haha. Of course it's still on my mind but I don't feel desperate now. It really helps to talk and get support - which I had from this thread and from a RL friend last week. Oh yes, no one envies these situations, as you say it's hard to switch off. Oh well. I'm trying to socialise with other men atm gently - not even in a romantic men, just to shift the focus - and I do need to create my own future, so altough I haven't moved on yet I need to start doing it. if I don't do it who else will!

romantic way, I mean.

PG - talking about things always helps doesn't it, it allows you think about it differently sometimes too. I'm glad you had someone to tell about it all.
Trying to distract yourself with seeing other people could help, you never know who will you meet. Then hopefully you'll wonder why on earth the other man was on your mind ey?

Good news, tutor man is going to be around all the time from now on! Unfortunately I've just had to leave to pick poorly DS up from nursery which resulted in me having a little cry out of frustration as my time is limited as it is, boo hoo. My teacher was very supportive about it and said not to worry because things will work out which made me feel much better.

As I was walking out I spotted him in a cafe sat alone 5 minutes away on the way to my car. I pretended not to see him but think he saw me. I hope he was alone anyway! And not meeting his wife and three children for lunch