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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've met someone and want to ask him out

949 replies

ProfessorPickles · 25/04/2016 22:30

I've recently met someone who has really taken me by surprise. I've been single for around 3 years now, apart from a short relationship, and I'd had very little interest in men for a long time until I met him.

He's good looking but what got me by surprise is his personality, he's very smiley and has a great sense of humour. He makes me laugh and is a genuinely nice person. I haven't met someone who's even caught my eye for a long, long time so it's a little bit exciting! Smile

The problem however, is that he's a teacher at my university. Not my teacher, but I have contact with him occasionally.
We are a similar age (I'm a slightly older student) and I will be leaving in 2 months so would wait until then.

I have no idea if he is interested in me too, but I can't believe I've had my head turned after so long of being adamant I was going to be happily alone forever so I feel it would be foolish to just ignore it.

My idea was to give him a 'thank you' card/gift as I am leaving (for helping with my work, I'll be giving them to two other members of staff) and put my number inside. I thought this would be good so he can choose to take it or leave it, as it's potentially a little bit inappropriate?
If he isn't interested he can simply ignore it to spare me the embarrassment of asking to his face! Although, I've known several teachers to get together with students once they've left so I suppose it isn't that radical of an idea.

Best case scenario: We go on a date, fall in love, get married, have children and tour the country with our family band.

Worst case scenario: He never contacts me and life goes on.

It's worth a try surely? Grin

OP posts:
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Whisky2014 · 27/05/2016 12:32

Sorry I have been a bad cheerleader recently, I have no time to read this. But I just read the last couple of posts.
Ohhh hope today is THE day Prof!!!

ProfessorPickles · 27/05/2016 13:40

Will reply properly later on, but no luck so far! It just isn't happening I'm afraid, I don't think it's going to end up happening despite me trying

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 27/05/2016 13:47

Aw man, I don't understand!

apivita · 27/05/2016 13:49

Why can't you send him an email saying I need your help on xx? Can you let me know when I can possibly
pop in to discuss xx? Thanks.

This constant high-level stress of trying to 'bump' into him is surely not good for your mental health?!!

I've just name changed. I was buzzing around for a while! Grin

LovePGtipsMonkey · 27/05/2016 14:07

Prof, you still have nearly 4 weeks to go - of course it will happen! but if you can arrange a time with him by email, that would be definitely much less stressful for you! I thought your early morning plan was good - but I have a feeling it may still happen today.

LovePGtipsMonkey · 27/05/2016 14:08

haha apivita, yes you were an insect!

Whisky2014 · 27/05/2016 14:39

Cant you just email and say "fancy a drink tonight?"

Easy

ThisIsTheRightTime · 27/05/2016 14:44

COME ON! Prof, we've all got your back!

ProfessorPickles · 27/05/2016 15:09

I embarrassed myself a little infront of him, just looked a bit stupid so I'm grumpy haha. Plus I missed my chance to get him to help me because someone else helped instead.

I'm not sure what to do!
Mental health wise I'm JUST sane Grin I haven't been trying really hard to bump into him, just making an effort to walk a different way which doesn't make too much difference.

Unfortunately I can't email him as everyone just calls in to ask for help, and I won't be able to arrange one on one help as it's an open room IYSWIM?

I can't wait for this to be over, it's going terribly Grin

OP posts:
ProfessorPickles · 27/05/2016 15:09

Ps, your posts all made me smile Grin
It's nice to be cheered on!

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 27/05/2016 15:30

Unfortunately I can't email him as everyone just calls in to ask for help, and I won't be able to arrange one on one help as it's an open room IYSWIM?

No?! I don't get it. That doesn't mean you can't email inviting him for a drink does it?! You are not asking for his help you are arranging a date :D

I wouldn't be waiting to bump into him just go see him and if he is with other fold just say "please come and see me when you have a spare 5 minutes."
Or email. I honestly think you are making this a lot harder than needs to be!

ProfessorPickles · 27/05/2016 15:47

I'm not I swear! Grin
I'm trying to do it as simply as possible, talk to him and then pounce Blush

OP posts:
ProfessorPickles · 27/05/2016 16:49

I'm embarrassed to even be making this amount of effort, grr!

OP posts:
apivita · 27/05/2016 16:59

So he's like a tech then? Like a stats bod or same sort? If so, then Trust me, those guys you can definitely email and get him to allocate a time to you. Say ok can I make an appointment with you to go through these stars? I can't seem to understand why the regressions don't make sense... Can you let me know when you are free? I probably need only 20 min. ??

Grin
ProfessorPickles · 27/05/2016 17:58

In a fashion, but I really can't book his individual time! I swear I'm not being awkward, it's just how things are!
Plus I have no need for his time and I have deadlines so couldn't really do that even if it was an option.

I'm feeling down again today, and I'm also embarrassed to be feeling sad over all of this!

OP posts:
LovePGtipsMonkey · 27/05/2016 18:09

Prof, as you can't email, the next best thing is to go in, and if he is with someone just say 'sorry to interrupt, what would be a good time for me to come back - I wanted your advice on something?', it's polite and you he will tell you when he's free. Also I assume he wasn't in early today? you could try your morning plan too.

ProfessorPickles · 27/05/2016 18:25

I know it's frustrating when the OP is annoying and can't do what you suggest, it frustrates me when others do it Grin
But I swear, even if I walk in and ask for a time to see him, other people will always be around asking for his help etc.
He's never alone because of the time of year.

If I wasn't leaving in 3 weeks then I'd feel much more relaxed about bumping into him and wouldn't be trying at all, but because I'll soon be gone I feel like I need to be actively trying or else it will get to the last day and I won't have had a proper conversation with him in 6 weeks and it'll feel a bit out of the blue to ask him. I want to ask him to his face and soon but I can't see it happening anymore which is a bit rubbish!

OP posts:
ProfessorPickles · 27/05/2016 18:28

There's a chance I'll see him alone if he doesn't break up when I do, but I don't know how I'd find that out as I never get bloody chance to see him Grin
I have to keep coming in for a certain reason for two weeks after I've left and all the other students will have broken up then too.
But I imagine he will be breaking up although the other teachers don't!

OP posts:
FelicityGubbins · 27/05/2016 18:31

So you need to say... do you know, we haven't had a decent chat for weeks, do you fancy grabbing a coffee?
Then I can stop being overinvested in this thread...

ProfessorPickles · 27/05/2016 18:40

That might be an option! That requires me to actually see him though, honestly I cannot believe how much hard work this is proving to be!

I'll go to all this effort, wait 3 weeks to finish to go on a date, we'll sit down for our drinks and he will bang on about how much he loves the BNP Grin

OP posts:
LovePGtipsMonkey · 27/05/2016 19:29

I still think - if he's that busy - that it's best to catch him before others come in or when he is leaving for the day. Can't you interrupt politely and just say 'I'll come in at at the end of the day as you are so busy - need to ask your advice on something, what time do you leave?' Then you won't have to hang around, and a bonus that if goes into flirty mode you (or he!) could suggest a quick drink. But at least you will chat when he's more relaxed and no more people coming in.

ProfessorPickles · 27/05/2016 20:31

I'll keep at it PG, three mornings I've gone early and he's been out of the room doing other things. I'm fed up of feeling like a stalker!

All I want is ten bloody minutes! Ha

OP posts:
tessiegirl · 27/05/2016 21:53

Trying to catch up with this thread! I have missed a lot!!!!! Grin

ProfessorPickles · 27/05/2016 21:55

There's a lot of rambling on my part Tessie Grin

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ThisIsTheRightTime · 28/05/2016 10:45

Aghh, I've just read your updates Prof! (Was out late last night as two of my children had concerts which were thoroughly enjoyable.)

Isn't it weird how, whether we decide to seize the bull by the horns or bide our time we end up playing the waiting game. It makes me wonder if one should just kick off one's shoes and let nature/life take over.

Please let me know how you are feeling today, Prof. I can only imagine how you must have been yesterday.

And how about you lovely LovePGtips?