Brave Babes Battle Bus is Racing Along.....

[venusandmars]

Our lovely mouseface usually starts these threads but I've just noticed that the previous one is almost full, so I'm facing technology and get the next one set up.

Anyone, absolutely anyone, who feels they have a problem with drink is welcome here. Whether you're trying to stop, or cut down a little, whether you've been sober for years, or even if you're too scared even to contemplate what is happening. If you think it will help you to post, or lurk, then please do.

There's often a lot of nonsense and banter, but lots of good sound advice.

And there is always lots of support and care and no judgement.

This is the link to the previous thread, if you want to read what's been going on so far The Previous Thread

And this is the link to JesusWhatNext 's original thread started 6 years ago The Original Thread

[obrigada]

AF free here, just home from a walk, in pjs and drinking a mug of tea :)

Have my weigh in at SW tomorrow night but not holding out much hope !

[dementedma]

slimjim welcome. How are you today?
greendot are you still with us? Just post to say hello, the thread can move very fast so don't feel left out.
Indie my dearest friend. This has been coming for quite a while... The DTs are going enough to adjust. They will love mamma indie no matter what. I'm sorry but DP sounds lazy, selfish and self absorbed. You deserve better. PM me.
wry are you still there? And Margie?
sober thanks for the vibes, things are tough
sweet and small and beaches and spanna . you all OK?
obrigada hi babe!

[Rarity75]

lala love the idea of 'accidentally' scoffing food!

I am so shattered now. It's been a crap couple of months. DP moved in and lost his job . I was left in a fair amount of debt by previous partner.

Things came to a head over my funding DP's lifestyle last week. Weirdly he got a PPI payout a day later!!

He wants a holiday abroad (2k) with the kids. All I can see is am extravagant waste of money. For a non essential, I would be happier in a caravan!

I would like some money off him to reflect the fact he has been 'kept' for the last six months.

I feel like a mug. Hence the
Aaargh!!!!

[Rarity75]

Sorry for the rant. Hello to all the babes doing AF tonight. I will be tomorrow.

[WillAndDisgrace]

rarity I think that's more than fair to pay you some money....is he thinking not to give you any and just pay for the 2k holiday? I would be saying to him that he needs to give you the money and for you to decide how that's spent. Do you think you can limit the wine tonight? Set a gole?

[WillAndDisgrace]

Goal even

[laladidah]

rarity that does sound completely rubbish. Has he got a new job? And if wants the extravagant holiday, then he should fund it surely? My not so DP very stupidly left his job in December without having another one lined up, and like you, I was the mug who has been funding him, or at least, paying the lion's share, lending him money etc. The things we do, Eh? Rant away, it is therapeutic. And anyway, caravans are far more fun!

Accidental food scoffing tends to happen to me a lot... now I feel sick, full of crisps, onion bahjis (sp?) and soup. What a hideous combination.

obi, sounds good. And you have inspired me to go for a little stroll before bed to work off a bit of the accidental scoffing

[Rarity75]

He has suggested paying off my car loan (finishes in August anyway), and buying DD a full size bed.

I am annoyed because I have paid for food, mobile phone bill, clothes, costs towards his child.
Taking the daily rate of a b&b at s hostel I estimate it would have cost him £3000 without the extras. I feel I should be given some cash to use as I see fit.
I'm really worried he will just fritter away 'his' money and I feel grubby for asking for a slice. Guess broke doesn't have much dignity though.

I'm really close to ending the relationship tbh.

will I am in pj's, already have a headache and am sooo tired. There isn't much left in the house so that limits what I can drink any way.

[Rarity75]

He hasn't got a permanent job lala he is doing some labouring for a mate. The cash has come via a PPI payout. Therefore should be saved for a rainy day and used for essential purchases, not blow a quarter of it on a holiday just because he wants to go abroad!!

Also he knows I'm really worried and didn't sleep well last night. And guess what he isn't here to talk things through like he promised. He has gone out to practice his hobby. Said he would be back at 8. I haven't had tea. Hence why a bottle of wine has hit me hard after a spell of AF.

I am so pissed off.... Mainly with myself

[Rarity75]

Onion rings, salt and vinegar crisps, and club bars here!

[laladidah]

rarity that does sound completely rubbish. Has he got a new job? And if wants the extravagant holiday, then he should fund it surely? My not so DP very stupidly left his job in December without having another one lined up, and like you, I was the mug who has been funding him, or at least, paying the lion's share, lending him money etc. The things we do, Eh? Rant away, it is therapeutic. And anyway, caravans are far more fun!

Accidental food scoffing tends to happen to me a lot... now I feel sick, full of crisps, onion bahjis (sp?) and soup. What a hideous combination.

obi, sounds good. And you have inspired me to go for a little stroll before bed to work off a bit of the accidental scoffing

[laladidah]

Argh, what is wrong with my posts this evening?! Sorry for bombarding you so many times.

rarity £3000 is an awful lot of money. Sorry that probably doesn't make you feel better... Could you ask him to contribute any money towards rent? Although I am guessing you have already tried that. That's the problem when someone has limited funds, you end up paying anyway because they actually can't (or would rather save theirs for other things and are happy to let you pay their way

[Rarity75]

He has just come back. I'm too tired to talk. I just want to go to sleep!!

[Rarity75]

Did your DP end up getting another job lala?

[laladidah]

Aww bless you, just go to sleep, it can wait till tomorrow.

He is currently away back in his home country setting up some internet business with his friends (nothing dodgy!). His friends have made quite a lot of money from selling stuff through their company (think Porsches, rolexs and rather lush designer flats - I was over there recently and I was extremely jealous.) however I am quite sceptical of the whole thing not to be unsupportive or anything, I just don't really get how these things work. We shall see. He can bloody well start paying for stuff for once when he gets back, and bloody well pay me back the loans he has had. It's frustrating being the main 'breadwinner' isn't it? Esp when my job is really full on and I work bloody hard.

Getting cross thinking about it. Must remain all zen like so I actually get a good night's sleep. I always have trouble sleeping AF.

[WillAndDisgrace]

I'm sorry I have to rant here. DH's ex has only just text to say dsd has something contagious and I need to boil all the bedding! Thank for sitting on that all day until it's too late for me to do anything! DS will probably get it now and dsd has been in our bed too! She will be ok and I hope she alright but I'm fucked off with her mum!

[Elba84]

rarity sorry things are so tough, he sounds so selfish (and daft) to be thinking of just frittering the money without knowing he has enough coming in to support himself (and pay you back!).

lala hope you can stick to your guns too and get back the 'loans' of him. Hope you get some sleep tonight- I'm also struggling to sleep on AF nights. Also hope puppy hasn't left you any surprises in your bed tonight!

will hope tomorrow goes ok at the dentist, and also hope ds doesn't come down with anything...very selfish not to tell you untill now (was the timing deliberate do you think, or just her not thinking?)

claret how's the entertaining going?

I'm off to bed soon, AF night tomorrow. Don't know what time I'll be back but will probably be late, so going to try and go straight to bed rather than sit around for hours torturing myself about whether to drink or not. If I stick to four nights of moderate(ish) drinking then I can maybe get my units under 40, or at least that's my aim. Still too much, but better than 100 I guess! Not enjoying it at the moment anyway...tonight's drinks felt more like medicine.

Sleep well babes xxx

[laladidah]

Well, that probably goes down in history as the worst night's sleep ever. Think I finally fell asleep at 3am, only to wake up at 5.30, freezing cold and thought sod it, may as well get up. Then went to let puppy out, and she clearly went on some sort of dirty protest, so had to spend ten mins clearing that up. Glamorous my life is not. However, on the plus side, I am at work bright and early, plenty of time to do lots of faffing productive stuff.

elba how are you? Good luck with AF today! I am doing what you mentioned, and already a sneaky voice in my head is telling me I deserve a drink later after being AF last night. Ridiculous isn't it?

rarity I hope you had a good sleep, and that you get the chance to sort things out today, so it's one less worry on your mind.

will - the dentist will be fine! Be prepared to feel like a hamster not be able to talk properly for half of the day after the anaesthetic. Just be careful when eating that you don't bite the inside of your own face (I managed that, and it was way worse than the procedure!) and hope you managed to sort out the domestic situation with no ill effects for anyone.

Right, must do work faff about some more. Hope everyone has a good day!

[ClaretAndBlue30]

Morning everyone, so sorry so many are having a hard time.

elba good luck with your af day.

I shared a bottle of wine with my fil last night. Didn't have wine in the house but he bought it with him...hmm.

I was utterly exhausted after working all day, sorting out DD then having to cook a full on meal. I could sleep for a day.

Anyway, day 1 again!! I feel like I'm forever promising not to drink on here then failing

[ClaretAndBlue30]

will best of luck with your tooth, I'm sure you'll be fine.

lala hope you aren't too tired - that's an awful nights sleep!

[WillAndDisgrace]

Morning babes! •lala I too had a crap night even though I was tired all day! Finally took a sleeping tablet at 2am


AF day 2!!! Who's with me on an AF day?

Thanks for the positive dentist vibes!

[WorkInProgess]

claret a lot of my reason for not posting much is that i feel like I'd be constantly be saying I'm not going to drink and then failing. I think it's all part of the process of getting there in the end though.

will I am with you on an AF day.
I am (finally) on day 2 for the first time in ages. But I've had a bit of a health scare so know i need to try harder this time.

Does anyone know how long it takes before you can sleep on an AF day?

[WorkInProgess]

I can't remember the last time i had a good nights sleep, have never been a great sleeper and neither have my three children. If i get past the first few AF days and sleep well though that would be a major incentive to keep going. Bit of weight loss would be good too!