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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes Battle Bus is Racing Along.....

998 replies

venusandmars · 23/04/2016 23:52

Our lovely mouseface usually starts these threads but I've just noticed that the previous one is almost full, so I'm facing technology and get the next one set up.

Anyone, absolutely anyone, who feels they have a problem with drink is welcome here. Whether you're trying to stop, or cut down a little, whether you've been sober for years, or even if you're too scared even to contemplate what is happening. If you think it will help you to post, or lurk, then please do.

There's often a lot of nonsense and banter, but lots of good sound advice.

And there is always lots of support and care and no judgement.

This is the link to the previous thread, if you want to read what's been going on so far The Previous Thread

And this is the link to JesusWhatNext 's original thread started 6 years ago The Original Thread

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
muddlejumble · 25/05/2016 21:19

Hope every one is ok. I've been reading the thread. I don't have any wisdom but I'm lurking and AF for today.
x

Elba84 · 25/05/2016 21:47

Now drinking again, had ambitious plans that today I would manage day 2. I've got a cold, and increased pm dose of ADs last night so felt a bit heady and crap today, which makes me anxious. But also had a paranoia that it was withdrawal as it was the longest I've not drank and too scared to do anything about that, so in my head I've justified drinking. But I'm not moderating, I'm a bottle and a bit down and still feel sober. I'm not working tomorrow so I don't have a reason to stop and I don't know how to stop now I've started even though I never intended to even drink this much. This is shit basically, I have no control at all. Going to probably get shitfaced on my own and waste tomorrow. Even if I say to myself I will stop that is what will happen.

onehellofaride · 25/05/2016 22:04

elba tomorrow is another day.

I've had 2 glasses and stopped. I know I will have more tomorrow and this weekend

Halleberry · 25/05/2016 22:34

What are your triggers ELBA? Xxx

dementedma · 25/05/2016 22:43

wry the rowans and the hammock made me laugh. We have an Almond Tree (planted in honour of the poem by the same name by Jon Stallworthy) and the blossom is guy bonny.
Had two glasses tonight and am in bed, feeling sad

cauliflowercheese14 · 25/05/2016 23:02

God, that's triggered a school memory of that poem. So very sad. Sorry you're sad too demented

I think everyone who drinks unhealthily is self medicating to some degree. I've been through a fair bit myself, had the support but still seem to lack some basic self worth.

We have a hammock, it's wonderful to lie in it staring up at the leaves.

cauliflowercheese14 · 25/05/2016 23:04

elba yes, tomorrow is another day.

claret yes I wonder why people ever socialize with me twice. I can't remember what I did so I imagine the worst.

Pinkballetflats · 25/05/2016 23:10

Sorry things are so crap for you right now Lala - sounds like you are well rid, though.

I've been reading everyone's posts but I seem to have less and less to say to anyone, anywhere, about anything lately.

It's like I'm retreating more and more from life in general.

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 25/05/2016 23:45

joey my next door neighbour's hairdresser assured her we would be scorchio June, July and August. Scorchio! I live in hope. It would probably be safer, drier and more sensible to build a shed to hang the hammock in. A cheaper option of course would be to go and lie on my bed. Grin I remember when I was a kid in the seventies somebody's mam and dad had a covered swinging sofa thingy. Now that would be useful. Retro. Too cool for words me... xx

elba don't beat yourself up quine, don't let tonight's blip mar the triumph of 54ish hours AF. That's better than me this week, we do what we do, then pick ourselves up and march on. Make yourself a wee plan for tomorrow, even if it's something little, like tackling a pile of ironing, a bit of gardening, to read a few chapters of a book, just to give you a focus. xx

And thank you m'dear for my moral support today, was sick with dread on way to work, but my, was it justified. Awful, awful day, work front of house fine, but general atmosphere behind scenes decidedly chilly. I am writing everything down, if anything just to cover myself, but it is very hard going. I'm not bad at soldiering on in the face of unpleasantness, but this is almost too hard to bear. No alcohol in the house tonight, I just daren't risk it. I know I may binge at the weekend, so I'm trying to organise going riding, my favourite focus. Over the last two weeks I have lost 5kg. Just through stress and loss of appetite. To be fair, it won't hurt, but it's not ideal.

muddle well done on you AF day! xx

claret love how you support folk, I am pinching your calendar idea, I might even get some sticky stars. Summat glittery and fancy. Little clouds or bottles for the drinky days. Sadly all I have in the house at the minute are princess stickers courtesy of my niece. Time for a google after I have an hour with my puzzle Grin xx

Lala glad your work was better today, and hope that you have now found the elusive poop. Three storeys? That's a lot of hidey places... I hope you are now sitting with a book, or watching something on the telly, having a little you time. You have in no way been a drama llama, in fact I think you have shown remarkable strength these last few days. xx

ma I wasn't familiar with the poem, I have just read it and whew. No words. Caught me bonny and brought a tear to my eye. ma if only I had a magic wand to wave to bring you joy and a corner of happy, I would ye know. I'd wave it all night. xx

cauliflower now you've done it. I have hammock envy.... Grin hello by the way! xx

pink me dear, don't shrink away from the bus, as everyone will testify, I don't half spout some shite sometimes, but this bus has been a place for me to feel someone is listening. When the real world whirls too fast for me, I shrink away into myself, this bus sees me at my best, at my worst and everything else in between. You must let us know you are okay, not okay, or middling. Anyhoo, you have a season ticket for this bus so you are not allowed to retreat. They send out posses to find you. Word. Smile have a great big bosie from me and the hound, xx

Halle How are you? You did amazingly well last night! Big pompommery for you! xx

Time to let the bairn oot for her pee, and get a cup of camomile tea. xx

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 25/05/2016 23:53

Just read through my post. This! I meant one of these.

It reads like my pal's parents went 'swinging' on a sofa. I'm sure that wouldn't have been the case....

Brave Babes Battle Bus is Racing Along.....
MaryMungoAndMidgies · 26/05/2016 00:01

A bit more up to date.

Ready for me scorchio summer. Grin

Joey I've found me a hammock that won't spin me round and wrap me like a condom. And it'll keep the rain off!

I'm singing...heaven, I'm in heaven...

That's it. I'm having a swing.

Brave Babes Battle Bus is Racing Along.....
Brave Babes Battle Bus is Racing Along.....
Brave Babes Battle Bus is Racing Along.....
MaryMungoAndMidgies · 26/05/2016 00:16

ma!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look what I found! Thistle-heided pampas!!

I love the way wee spurgies hang on to pampas and sway about like they're on a fairground ride. Is it an urban myth about pampas? Is it true it attracts 'visitors'?

Right. Bedtime. Night night everyone, big bosies and sweet dreams, xx

Brave Babes Battle Bus is Racing Along.....
lookingforhope · 26/05/2016 07:42

Hi all, sorry for being AWOL, work so hectic am running round like a headless chicken and feel I have little to offer. Sorry all those who are struggling and special hugs to Pink, Lala & Elba. Halle you are doing brilliantly, your blip was actually a triumph of self control as you stopped. That wouldn't have happened a month ago. You are a star Star. Wry thanks for your lovely comments, made me Blush, have never been likened to a warm hug before. Sorry you are having a hard time at work. I also had to cause trouble last week by getting someone to pull rank to avert a disaster. Everyone knows it is me. Nobody being nasty to my face but .... Still, nothing like what you are going through. Sometimes you have to speak up and do what's right. Ok I'm off to work. Cumbria bound today so I'll wave to you and Ma over the border. Loving the Ma pampas grass. Ma that should be your Facebook profile pic Grin

dementedma · 26/05/2016 07:44

Oh wry you do make me laugh. Love the purple pampas..I'm a good few shades darker and my stem is somewhat more rotund, but there is s similarity.
Glad you liked the poem. We did it at school a few centuries years ago and it has stayed with me always. The image of the hospital being like a ship, the traffic lights as green as peppermints, welcome to my white sheet my best poem!
I ended up doing my sixth year dissertation on 3 of the war posts,one of which was Stallworthy. He deserves to be better known. And on this literary note, had better get my baffies aff, the bairn oot his pit and awa tae wurk.

Pinkballetflats · 26/05/2016 08:23

Wry - your 'shite' is very entertaining. Do you write for a living?

aliasjoey · 26/05/2016 11:54

How are you doing ma? Sorry to hear you were feeling sad last night, hope things are going better for you today BrewCake

I was just looking for smilies, and found this Archers what on earth is it? What's it for?!

Wry ma quine, I do hope you're doing okay today... Is there anyone at work you can talk to, not in a complaining way but just to sound off... You do a grand job and they all know it and don't like being pulled up over their failures - but it will get forgotten eventually.

Yesterday I had a stupid car journey with stupid colleagues saying stupid things (not quite as bad as yours I know); they've probably all forgotten all about it, but I'm still dwelling on it - it's the way our mind works. Flowers I had my nephew up at your place (are you ARI or the other one?) last week, and thank god for kindly, caring and genuine nurses like you looking after him.

Chin up and soldier on (borrow some of mas soldiers, she can spare a few)

obrigada · 26/05/2016 16:00

Afternoon babes, just checking in (quiet today) xx

Elba84 · 26/05/2016 17:12

Afternoon all. Beautiful hot sunny day here...and I have a streaming cold Hmm

Still managing a fairly productive day though, at least by my recent standards, and despite two bottles of wine last night. Have emailed two potential counsellors, and emailed work to ask for an occupational health referral. This might be the tricky bit...I either admit that I'm struggling and risk being 'kept and eye on' by them which I hate, or I probably won't be allowed to have the time off each week. Also worried that it will muck the rota up for my colleagues.

Realising my drinking is becoming increasingly 'all or nothing' and by slotting in the odd AF day I seem to have given myself an excuse to go mad on the other days, especially if I have nothing planned. It's not enjoyable anymore, it's more compulsive and self destructive, and I actually felt a weird relief last night when I finally stopped and got into bed.

wry sorry work is still awful, it sounds like you're so committed and caring and is horrible when other people's priorities are skewed. But it shouldn't be taken out on you, it's unfair. I'd agree with joey that maybe you should find someone to talk to, and maybe think about having your experiences logged officially xxx

hope you sound stressed, hope work today is going well. Your hugs are always so appreciated xxx

Hope everyone else is ok, sorry not to name check but big hugs to everyone xxx

Halleberry · 26/05/2016 17:43

Hey Elba, hope you are ok. I slipped up the other night Blush and I hated myself for it. I didn't enjoy It at all. Seriously, every sip made me feel physically more down and depressed than I had felt in days. I had no concentration or interest in what the girls were talking about and I genuinely wanted them to go home so I could have a Cuppa tea and some chocolate snuggled in bed with my hubby and watch a film. Even earlier on in the night I was thinking about the washing and the dishes and the ironing I was falling behind in all because I was sittin out in the garden drinking that crap!! I swear ive reached a mile stone! I ca categorically swear that right now I can say I no longer even enjoy alcohol,
Or the feeling it gives me at the time or the next day. I can see me seriously being pretty much T total from
Now on. I will probably in the distant future have the odd drink but on special occasions ONLY. NEVER on a school night and NEVER When I have to get up early with the kids so tbh that basically means I will rarely ever get the chance to drink! And im so totally ok with thag just now. Maybe I will have another blip, maybe I wont. I can't make any promises on tomorrow, I can only tell ye all this is how I feel today. Not one single part of
Me wants to feel that drunk feeling/out
Of control feeling at all. I love having all my senses about me and it's opened up
My eyes to a whole new world. Im on top
Of the housework all the time, husband always has clean ironed shirts for work and im not running about like a headless chicken in the morning trying to find clean school clothes or very messily and quickly make
My
Kid do his home work and send him
Off with a cereal bar cause I was to roughand hungover to make him something. It's totally different in my house now. And I friggin love it xx Elba I know you have had it tough lately but I so wish you could feel this feeling. I feel so friggin free. I could jump in my car and drive anywhere with the music blaring, windows down and be all by myself just taking in the world. I could never do that before at this time cause I was already half
Pissed ha ha. Alcohol councilling is a great idea. Im rooting for
You Elba xx hugs,kisses and Flowers just for you xxxx

Mrsmimsy · 26/05/2016 17:44

Hello all. Emerging from long time (years) lurking with random one off posts in the past under other names. Managed ten days wine free and sober although had two blsmall beers on one if those nights but messed up last night 3/4 bottle prosecco and a can of lager. Usually struggle to do one day af unless too hungover to drink.

dementedma · 26/05/2016 19:32

You have made awesome progress Halle and you Elba
Welcome to mrsmimsy. 10 days is awesome
Joey hands off my soldiers!!!!
Hope good to see you buddy.
Hey obrigada good to meet you on here again Wink
Anyone seen indie?

ClaretAndBlue30 · 26/05/2016 20:10

Great to hear your positivity halle well done!

elba well done for asking for the OH referral, i know how hard that can be. You did the right thing. I understand what you mean by the relief when you are done drinking for the night....when i start a bottle, its almost like 'right I've got to drink the whole lot now'....bizarre isn't it. And not at all enjoyable.

Hi obrigada hows SW going? Im in my constant weight battle as always....but contemplating doing something serious (i.e slimming world or weight watchers) when i get back from hols to shift this weight. As i've said before, its not a lot but its annoying me!

wry i saw a lovely hammock today and thought of you!

Hi mimsy 10 days af is great, well done. You are in the right place here for support, i lurked for a long time too.

pink hows everything going with you?

ma if that is the colour of your hair it must look utterly fantastic!! A friend of mine used to have hair similar and i always thought she looked so vibrant and full of life.

Reasonably ok here, drinking more than i would like but feels ok for now, I have various goals and providing i stick to them i'll be ok. A thread that was on here recently has bothered me 'AIBU to chug back a bottle of wine last night' - and the responses of horror. I'm down to 3 bottles a week and i'm proud. Made me feel like a total freak. Anyway, sorry babes...as you were.

cauliflowercheese14 · 26/05/2016 20:32

I think the amounts don't actually matter, it's how you respond to them.

Love the swingers. You know what I mean. I prefer the retro ones, preferably with fringing.

wry do you mean ride horses? My lesson is the highlight of my week and it always means I never have more than a glass or possibly too the night before. Pretty expensive motivator though!

AF day 5 here and no inclination to drink. I know DH will suggest a bottle of wine tomorrow. I feel ill at the thought though so I'm debating whether to have an early night and avoid it completely or see if I can have one glass. Lots of driving the next day so mustn't have much anyway.

dementedma · 26/05/2016 20:47

claret it's not bright purple like that. It's much darker but does tend to glow in the sunlight!!!

Lalaladida · 26/05/2016 21:06

Hey kids, just checking in. Beautiful evening in this part of the world, makes me happy to be alive. Ridden my horse this evening and taken my pup for a walk, let her off the lead for the first time ever - v proud that she didn't leg it into the sunset....

Still a bottle of wine down though... And starting to feel it. Going to have a bath...

Met someone this evening. Must have met her before, as she knew all about me, my dog's name. My horse's name. I have no idea what her bloody name is. That is properly bad