Let's Get Ready! It's Dating Thread 103

[DrFoxtrot]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

talking to a man of 46 which is more promising than the 29 year old. the conversation flows better with the young guy though. Another guy my age messaged me just now on okcupid but his profile is like this ''finally lovin' life'"
the word YOLO was in there too. can't be bothered to reply.
I got carried away answering questions on okcupid and my feminism will be obvious. That will put off everybody except the 29 year old I think.

Thing is 314 your answers to the feminism questions will only be putting off men who would eventually turn out to be incompatible anyway. You're just saving time.

True! If a man thinks, wow, I can't believe she doesn't wan a man who pays for sex!
or, that's a bit harsh, she doesn't want a man who loves hanging out in strip clubs............ well, no loss.

Goldfish I'll update about date 2 later today or tomorrow. I need to think about whether IABU. To add further confusion to my date-addled mind Pugwash sent me a message this evening. Additionally my ex is in my kitchen cooking us both steak for dinner I'm still not getting back with him.

anna you got it going on 😊 you must be quite a catch!!

I've not heard from Beaver much today. I've got this other thing....there's this local man chasing me a bit. He whatsapps me every day several times a day. He stops to speak to me in the street, and also messages me if he sees me around. He's a cab driver so I already know him fairly well. He came round to help me out with some flooring (badly) And he mentioned once that I'm "fit" (ha I'm not!) And he offered to cook me dinner once. I took both this as a joke. I don't fancy him at all but I've suddenly realised he must do me! Should I tell him I'm not interested or carry on treating him in a friendly way? I don't want to make things awkward when he picks me up in his taxi, there's no other firms in my town and I end up with him as my driver 8 times out of 10 as there's only a handful. To be honest I'm a bit annoyed about it cos he's just my friend!

Hi everyone, just checking in. My STBXH is visiting this weekend and I'm enjoying spending time with him. Totally confused as it's never going to work between us. So I'm here for any hints and tips on moving on.

Superfly I'm going out with him because he seems nice and normal.
The reason I prefer to date men with a child or children is down to the fact I don't want anymore, I'm done, completely. And men my age (37) with no kids often want them. However not every man wants kids, anyway it's just a date to see if there's any chemistry, nothing ventured nothing gained!

Wee update on my only iron I finally stumbled on the where do I stand business yesterday and it's quite clear we are exclusive.

First time I've ever asked anyone out.

Hi everyone!

Roland I actually like it when tinder pics have children or they've mentioned in their profile that they've got kids. I'm not having any more so I would like a man with kids already too. I totally see where your coming from.

Freaky I hope all is well with Bacon and JollyX ditto with Karmic.

Handy how are things with CI?

No news here pretty crap really, I've mislaid my dating mojo! Still half heartedly swiping on tinder, the right man just hasn't materialised yet! My two irons Apple and Leicester are still there but nothing to report. I'm getting rather bored really .

314 I can't stand YOLO or anything along those lines! 'No drama queens' 'school of hard knocks' and the other day there was a man looking for a woman who 'rocks a bikini' despite not being all that himself. I just can't be arsed!!

Roland you're not your I've swiped left for less grammar/ spelling errors than that hahaha

I have a date next thursday I think. I'm going to call him Jovencito. (youngster). This really is pointless in a romantic sense and I have told him that. He said ''you're scaring me with your insistence that this date is platonic!" and I said well, let it sink in! We're still bantering away. But I want to be really clear. It's a once off. Because I haven't been on a date since The Phd Doctor. :-p
He said something about visualising me in a black dress and I said I had intellectual copywrite so he was not to visualise me and the pup comes back and corrects me ''copyright!'.

I wonder how ocelot is getting on! I hope the gig is going well.

Ah I forgot Ocelot was at the gig! Is this the one where M might be there?

It is.................M for music. {jaws music}

Omg, at "a woman who rocks a bikini" what do they think!
fox i laughed at not bothering to name irons. I might do this. Like if their screen name is axelPose. Then I for iron, AP & whatever u r up to numerically.

Maybe a name if u want a second dat?!

314 I named an iron the other day and then he disappeared from tinder after what I thought was some good banter. I think naming when a second date is on the cards might be the way to go!!

Quick update from me, my date was not of the amazing variety!

partyboy looked nothing like his photos, and this is not a case of me only seeing one or even 2, he's got about 6 on his POF profile and were always sending each other selfies on whatsapp so I was actually rather taken aback that he looked so different because I felt like I knew what I was getting I mean it was obviously the same guy, just a smaller, thinner and very weedy version! Not the 6' beef cake I was expecting/hoping for! He also smoked, which I hate, on his profile it said something about being an occasional/social smoker but he went outside for 3 during our date so I'd say it was more than that ans when he tried to kiss me, I admit I did recoil somewhat unintentionally but I think he got the message!
Oh well back to the swiping tomorrow! (and that dreaded text saying sorry but no thank you)

Yuk. Smokers. I used to be one.

Me too traffic is ex smokers are always the worst!!
I was just a bit miffed as his profile said occasional smoker, which I took literally. To me that means socially, take it or leave it now and again not 10 a day! Am i wrong? But then he also said in his profile he was 6' and he wasn't that either. Meh...

last, what a shame that partyboy wasn't what you'd expected, even though you'd seen lots of pictures. The smoking would've put me off too. Hope the swiping today goes well!

Ocelot, hope all was ok and the gig and that it wasn't too difficult for you if M was there.

Foxtrot, it's so frustrating when you just can't find anyone you're interested in. Sometimes when I get to that stage I have a break for a few days and then go back hoping some interesting men have appeared (though often they haven't!)

Foxtrot and Roland, I also have a preference for men with kids, as I won't be having any more, and I think they tend to 'understand' more (stuff like understanding you might not be able to see them as often because of childcare issues, etc). Strangely, none of the men I've chatted to on OKC have children, but I'm not going to rule them out completely because of that.

WeeHelena, I can't remember who your iron is, I'm afraid, but great news that you're both on the same page. How long have you been seeing him?

314, my OKC answers must show I'm a feminist too, but I think that's a good thing as hopefully it will weed out people I wouldn't want to meet.

Anna, hope all's ok with you. What with your two dates yesterday, Pugwash and your ex, things sound quite busy!

Traffic, that's a really awkward situation, and I don't know what to advise. Can you be friendly but a bit distant at the same time? It can be really difficult when someone you see as a friend sees you as more than that.

Freaky and Jolly, hope you had a great time last night.

Waving, I'm so glad that things are going so well with MTG. You give us all hope!

Handy, how are you feeling about CI this weekend?

Hello to anyone I've missed.

Nah. Occasional means occasional. Not every day, maybe at a push but defnontely not 3 in a date. 😂
I once had a date with a manboy who had lied about his age and height. I was expecting this beardy manly rocker, 22, who was 6'2" and could play guitar. (I was 20 at the time) I got a weedy 18 YEAR OLD BOY who couldn't play guitar for shit, and was shorter than my 5'2" self. Only thing manly about him was his beard.

AND I was totally stuck on the date until the end because he was my lift home!

I'm going to cancel my date with IXD29 foxtrot. it's so utterly pointless. I had all these epiphanies the other day and they could be really useful if I don't get side tracked now. My agenda. I need to focus on what I want to get out of internet dating. This guy might be a laugh and a half but nothing could EVER go around that age gap for me. (16 years, and I certainly wouldn't do it the other way around. I wouldn't even have briefly considered going on a date with a man 16 years older, so why was I allowing this jovencito to talk me in to meeting up!)

ocelot have you posted yet? Or do you not want to.

I'm a non smoker traffic, goldfish, lastnickname and always have been and it doesn't bother me massively. I wouldn't like it in the house though, so I guess if you ever get to the point where somebody sticks around or it works out then it could be something I dial back on, start minding about it again!

Waving, great that you're still on the working out well bench! I won't say smitten. Smitten sounds like the thought processes aren't all still in operation!

Handy how are you feeling? I think what waving said up thread is a good question. Is the relationship as it is now making you happy!? If not, then it's worth trying to have a big conversation. A scary conversation, that could end in The End, or it could resolve things, but either way, no point continuing in this state of anxiety.

freaky and jolly I hope you both had good dates last night!

foxtrot and roland I need to start trying to click more with men with kids, because early on, I met boring pilot and he was a pompous snore, and I met men with no kids and they were all that free spirted type, that I'm drawn too, and it never works out!!! so I need to clear my assumption that divorced dads are all boring. That only happened a couple of times. We just didn't click. Not a huge pattern that proves a theory or anything I hope

No worries Goldfish I mostly lurked but came on for advice a couple pages back. I wanted to know how to ask him where we stood on the dating thing.

Been seeing him since January and not actively dating other people so didn't post on these threads although have followed as there are some great tips.