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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher

999 replies

Mouseface · 30/03/2016 00:05

Hi, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Bus. We're delighted to have you here :) Not because if you're new to the Babes you are here for help, but because we welcome every kind of drinker. And for all of the reasons life throws at you.

Those that do drink, those that don't drink and of course those who do but don't want to say just how much..............

We've all had our own personal Groundhog Day , some still are and don't want to remain trapped in the same cycle day in, day out, and some still are and want to be which is fine and why we're here.

To talk, to listen, to just be us, like you are YOU. You never know, one day you might just want to wake up on a different day? :) There's no judging here, no 'sides.

After all, something made you click on and read this :)

Come say hi! We even do Brew & Cake if you're super quick!!

And if you want to see what we got up to in the last thread, have a look RIGHT HERE

And this is where our adventure began, almost six years ago now!!

ALMOST SIX YEARS AGO...........

OP posts:
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ClaretAndBlue30 · 13/04/2016 19:43

And in positive news I've already doubled my af days this month compared to last month...and we're only 13 days in (4 days af last month Blush, 8 so far this month) That helps keep me motivated....

dementedma · 13/04/2016 20:20

Elba you live near a beach?Envy. I adore being on the beach in all weathers and go as often as I can. My sis is up this week and we have set aside a day to go beachcombing. Can't wait.
Been a tough day at work. Again. Am knackered and just can't see a way forward.
Great to see so many babes doing well.
indie you OK?
wry?
hope?
thurso are you lurking my friend?
mouse?

Bloodybloodyhell · 13/04/2016 20:21

Hello Babes.

I am SO tired. Is this to do with the not drinking??

Had a real wobble c 5pm. Beautiful sunny afternoon, and I'd just mown the lawn. Set me off on a massive trip down memory lane, when my ex used to do that, then we'd enjoy a drink together, in the sun.

Made me miss him - and a drink - even more.

But thankfully, no booze in the house and no opportunity to get to the shop saw me through.

Now I'm in bed. Feeling confused and slightly strange about that very strong (but short-lived) sense of missing my Ex. Who really loved me, but who I pushed away. It was the right thing to do, I know it was - for a million reasons. And booze and him were so intertwined, I'd never be doing this with him.

But still, but still.

Anyway. Enough waffle.

Elba - top job!! Am genuinely pleased for you (sounds ridiculous - I don't know you from Adam irl, but here I feel I do a bit!) Well done.

And to all of the rest of you battling tonight - or just calmly enjoying tonight, I'm clinking my cup of peppermint tea!

This is a funny old business, isn't it.

Elba84 · 13/04/2016 20:26

That's brilliant claret well done. I think keeping track is a great motivation. How's day 3 going?

Yeah I got to the beach, and it was stunning. Really need to make the effort to go more. I got really into running a couple of years ago and used to love my evening beach runs in the summer.

100 units was probably my norm, bar a few sporadic more controlled periods, for a long time. And I won't lie, since I've joined I've had periods of not tracking and I'm sure it's crept back up to that sort of level. Now I've done two AF days I feel a bit more empowered and ready to try more though.

ClaretAndBlue30 · 13/04/2016 20:27

Hi bloody! Glad to hear you're ok - that pesky sunshine almost got me too earlier. I blame marketing for making us think sunny day = drink. Gah.

If you don't mind me asking, have you and your ex been seperated long? Could this be you processing your emotions with a newly unfoggy head? Or just nostalgia?

ma beachcombing sounds lovely...something about the seaside always seems relaxing. Am in right in thinking you are in Scotland? (Sorry if I'm wrong, I desperately try to remember info about all the babes!)

ClaretAndBlue30 · 13/04/2016 20:31

Sorry crossed post elba, empowered is the word!!! We are empowering ourselves to make positive changes. Go us StarStar

Day 3 has been a success thanks, craving was there but manageable. I was inches away from the shop door earlier and dragged myself past....phew.

Off to bed shortly. rarity you there lovely?

dementedma · 13/04/2016 20:33

Well done bloody. You are doing brilliantly.
Yes, claret I am an Anglo-Irish mudblood living in Central Scotland. I often go to the beaches in the East Neuk - Elie is my favourite but the kids used to love the rocks and pools at Crail.
Love this poem by EE Cummings...

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher
ClaretAndBlue30 · 13/04/2016 20:37

That's beautiful ma. You live in a gorgeous part of the world. I remember photos you've posted, beats my mundane suburban view!!

Bloodybloodyhell · 13/04/2016 20:38

Hi Claret,

Well done you too!

Yes it's a bastard isn't it. We're conditioned to associate so many things with "having a drink."

Sunny day - glass of something cold.
Cold day - glass of something warming.
Good day - drink to celebrate!
Bad day - drink to get over it.
Ad infinitum.

No, we've only been separated since Christmas (great timing). And apart from a truly pathetic attempt at Dry Jan, I've been drinking a lot since. So it may be the clearer head talking, who knows. I'm just tired of it all really. (As in the what ifs, the recriminations, the sheer bloody drama of it all.)

Just want a quiet life really. Though this being in bed by 8.30pm lark, with tea is making me feel old before my time!

Bloodybloodyhell · 13/04/2016 20:43

Thanks Ma. Sorry you're having a tough time at the moment. Sounds like hard bloody work. But beach combing is something lovely to look forward to! Tis my dream, one day, to live by a beach. Sigh.

Elba84 · 13/04/2016 21:00

bloody well done. I think the sunny whether is going to be a big trigger for me too. Thank you for your encouragement, I feel like I 'know' you all too and it's actually really lovely as I could never be as honest to anyone I know in real life. Enjoy your Brew x

ma sorry works still so stressful. I love living by the beach (currently choosing a long commute rather than move) but should spend more time there really.

claret yes positive changes. On that note, you've all inspired me to go for an AF day tomorrow too (although can't help but feel I'm cheating a bit as when I'm not in till late I don't have to go through the evening craving etc, but for now it will do)

Rarity75 · 13/04/2016 21:02

Evening, another day nearly done.

Congrats claret day 3! I've started adding up how much money I'm saving. It may pay for a nice holiday for me and dd.

I too love the ocean I find it soothing to the soul. All the changing moods and that smell! I'm going to have to head to the coast very soon now the weather is a bit better.

bloody me too I was having a wobble earlier. Got past it though. Watched Disney film with dd and chomped way too many haribo's Halo

Elba84 · 13/04/2016 21:06

Just to make you more Envy ma (if it works...not tried to upload a photo before!)

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Some Warmer Weather, Staying Sober Togeher
dementedma · 13/04/2016 21:06

I would love a cottage by the sea, where I could hear the waves and the wind. On a pebble beach, when the waves withdraw it sounds crunchy and chucklesome. On a sandy beach it sighs and soughs. My cottage will be ramshackle, with a coloured door and beautiful windows. There will be wooden floors with rugs and log fires. There will be candles and cats and cushions and lots of books. Driftwood and shells and seaglass. Herbs in pots. Soft, saggy beds with warm throws and quilts to cosy in against the draughts whistling in...
At night I will see the stars and listen to the shells singing. And I will be happy.

Rarity75 · 13/04/2016 21:09

elba I'm a newbie but I know exactly what you mean. I feel safe here. There is t many people in RL I would feel comfortable discussing my drinking with. Even my OH doesn't really get it, he is still cracking cans of cider in front of me. Luckily I hate cider!!
But here I can say actually this is way bloody harder than I thought it would be. Without you lovely ladies I would have minimised it all (again Blush) and been back on the same cycle.
I'm not looking past the weekend at the minute I'm working in days but, thank you all Flowers

Rarity75 · 13/04/2016 21:13

Jealous elba mighty jealous!!!

My dream is Northumberland coastline somewhere off the tourist trail. Holidayed there since a child. I drive North and I feel lighter, connected. Always have. I wouldn't care too much what it looked like as long as it was a stone traditional old cottage. Must have a log burner. Large amounts of bookshelves and a window seat. Hmm may try to conjure a nice dream tonight about that!

Bloodybloodyhell · 13/04/2016 21:27

Is that a photo from your house Elba?? If so, wow. How utterly, utterly gorgeous!

Ma - that sounds like my absolute ideal too. And LOVE chucklesome!!!

Do you reckon, if we collectively pool all the cash we've been pissing up the wall on booze, but aren't any more (ish) - we could afford to get somewhere like that?

"The Brave Babes Beach House"GrinGrinGrinGrin

SpecialNonOperations · 13/04/2016 21:28

I'm not drinking today...about 18 hours since my last drink. It's so hard.

dementedma · 13/04/2016 21:33

Elba if that's taken from your house I'm moving in!
Yes, a Babes beach house would be fab!!
special that is brilliant! Seriously. I last drank about 5 minutes ago. Well done babe.
Margie how's things?

Bloodybloodyhell · 13/04/2016 21:35

It IS hard, Special. But you ARE DOING IT!!

Well done!

Can you now clean teeth, put PJs on, go to bed - then you'll have done it for the day?

SpecialNonOperations · 13/04/2016 21:37

It's only 1.36pm here!
I have to go drive to the hospital to visit dh.
So, I've the rest of the day to do. I'm going to try stay sober, see if I can get 72 hours done.
The kids need me to be their mom.

dementedma · 13/04/2016 21:39

You can do it special . you can. You can!

Elba84 · 13/04/2016 21:40

No not from my house sadly! I'm about a mile from there though (inland), and a mile from a lovely harbour that you can't quite see from that photo. I've lived in cities much of my life, so it's lovely to have that so close.

special keep going, we are all here x

Paffle · 13/04/2016 21:41

I feel we need a cheerleading smiley. Go special. Go everyone!

evilpopstar · 13/04/2016 23:02

Checking in post move

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