FreeMo - Part 3

[AngryMo]

New Fred

Scuse typos, you know what I mean

I COULD not have found the strength to do any of this if it weren't for your backing and advice. I am fearless now. Thank you!

Excellent stuff Mo! Did tax credit /income support say how long it would be before you get any money? Be great when you have some small income coming in just incase he cuts off all money to mess you around.

I don't know how long CMS takes to get up running but gather lots men just don't pay anyway. BUT it's all good because if in a years time you get to court or whatever to split house and Soliters now he by this point owns you thousands in maintence they will take that into account surely. So it's not like he will get all share from house if not paid you a penny. I'm speculating but it would make sense.

Onwards and upwards by the power of mumsnet you are invincible

This is the best thread I've seen on MN for ages. Go Mo.

Go you!
Well done, this is the first feeling of empowerment. Lots more to come

Perhaps he needs the concept of 'we are split up' explained to him!

he's happy to "explain this concept further to me when he's home"

ROTFL

No concept needed mansplaining thanks. Jog on.

Well handled FreeMo!!

I have this mad vision of you having to do some version of the Monty Python Parrot Sketch for him.

We are separated.
I have left you
We are no longer together
It is over
We are done
This is an ex relationship
This partnership has ceased to be

Cross post Mo. You're amazing.

I never mentioned love to him before (and nor he) in all of this, because some part of me was thinking well I did love him...very much at one point and it's fucking tragic to end s relationship like this. I have some tears in my eyes now thinking that but it's true. The love is gone, it's dead, defunct etc. etc.
That's the very sad part in all of this.

Haha rumble, cross post!!! I nearly did the dead as a dodo thing too

I also mentioned to him that he's made my life a living misery. To me, my messages are worded perfectly. That never usually happens, I'm usually unsure what about this and what about that, but I'm so sure now it's unreal.

It has rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-relationship!

I was out, and oh my THE SHIT HAS GONE DOWN

Well done mo

The fact that your communication is via email etc, there is no way he can gaslight/lie nor imply you have mental health issues watf because it's all there in black and white! What a tool

So, so pleased the SHL was good....did she advise anything about when he visits?

Well done, I bet he's exploding !!!

That was my face as I was reading his mansplaining comments and denying you were separated.

I am so impressed with how you've handled your responses though, amazing strength and clarity from you.

This is my face now at how well you are doing and how strong you're being. I'm so pleased for you.

We've already had the "mental problems" response. And as PP have said the responses are so predicable we could probably run a sweep on what he'll come back with next. My money's on him accusing you of having someone else. If he does is just answer with a no, have you? And see how he responds to that. I have a real feeling he's been up to no good while he's been away.

So please to hear You are on a roll and so confident in your self and what you want. Hurrah

P.s. Could we do bing cards, for when he rolls out the different approaches, you know first confused, then offering to spend money, then angry then reproachful again? We sometimes make up bingo cards at work, with the different expressions. It makes meetings by teleconference go so much faster when you have a card to score. I think its also useful to underline how predictable it all is, just like a script rather than a real relationship.

Oh my life Mo, I continue to applaud your strength and resolve.
Lots of the posters here have been through similar to you and know the script for the coming weeks and months, forewarned is forearmed so just wait for the 'you are having an affair' and 'right, I will have the children' and 'you are mad, you need to see a Doctor' and so on, so predictable. He must be dumbfounded to realise you are not malleable little Mo anymore. My crystal ball predicts turbulence to come in the near future and a happy, relaxed future after that.

Love bingo cards idea! Think we need a "your going sink without me card". "You have start working hard without me" some sort of "I'm amazing catch I have women falling at my feet I earn so much" card.

Still can't get over him thinking you woke up one day - with your tiny lady brain thinking...mmmm my partner lives on other side of world. This means we are seperated. I know I'm due maintence! Bless he needs you to explain your confused brain that you are still a couple!!!!!!

I am sure I am not the only one shouting, "Go Mo". Well done!

What can I say that the others haven't already.

It's very strange to feel inordinately proud of a stranger in the internet but I am! I've been beeming my head off reading your updates. Good for you Mo.

Keep gathering your strength though because you know you're going to need everything you've got to cope with his fuckwittery in person when he finally does get back.

I'd be concerned about his mental health if he genuinely thinks he gets to decide if you're separated or not and can 'explain this concept further' ... er, WTF?

Maybe he thought that by explaining why they were still a couple verrrrrry slllooowly to poor wee Mo, she would buckle under his god like twatus

Amongst all this feeling of power and relief there will be feelings of grief for what could and should have been. Don't be ashamed to feel that. We can cheer you on from the sidelines but you are doing it and it is hard. Don't forget to look after yourself.

He's in another country, you say? Sounds more like he's on another planet.

You are brilliant Mo.

If you give him the opportunity to do direct pay through CMS there are no charges except the £20 you pay to start the case. If he then doesn't pay as instructed they will move to collecting it from him - charging him an extra 20% and you 4%.

You are doing so well. Glad you found a decent solicitor. And that you found your own voice.