What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Urgh I'm in doubt mode now. I really do think Crumpets lack of communication is not a good sign. He hasn't replied to an earlier message I sent him and if he does I am sure it will be tomorrow morning of the 'sorry I fell asleep' variety. It's not good enough, if he really wanted to date me I'm sure he'd be way more keen than this. And I can't be arsed anyway. So I'm backing right away unless he pulls his finger out.

So I am going to rekindle some irons and swipe like a mad woman tonight.

Ocelot and 314 I'm considering joining the 10 irons by May

Harriet I'm glad he texted, I hope he comes good with future dates.

Trills I think you're right, he just wants someone to chat to. Some men seem to need rockets up their arses.

Trills, I attract those guys. It's like I'm going on creative writing courses to meet men. One man, a writer (published, he couldn't help but brag) was flattering me and telling me that I wrote well, I had comic timing no less.
I allowed myself to be flattered, for a short while.

Now I have another pen pal, a nicer man I think, but I feel I've been here before, just messaging these men who prefer to cosy up in their bed with Ms Radio four Ms crackers and cheese and red wine. They spend weekends washing their thermals and browsing around vintage markets and second hand book shops. At a quick glance they seem eccentric, funny, intelligent... but they just want to chat from the comfort of their bed. I have a date with mr canceller on saturday night and I didn't mention it because I don't quite believe it's happening. I'm half expecting him to cancel me. He is the Maestro Pen Pal. He might have to put ''This book belongs to Mr Canceller'' labels inside all of his books on Saturday night. Ah but to be fair, he's only cancelled me twice. The second time hardly counts. I said ''how about Thursday and he said ''yes ok!'' and then ten minutes later his boss told him no. It sounds a bit strange to me. Who HAS to work late, beyond 7, on a week night?? Am I very unambitious that I don't understand this! I used to work in the city. People made a show of working hard. I can't imagine a boss, any boss, saying to their staff on Friday night ''you can't leave'' after 7pm. and he works in town. And men don't have to go home and change although maybe they'd prefer to.

He gets one more conversation. I may or may not give him a "rocket up his arse".
I'll assume that it's going nowhere but give him a narrow window in which to impress me.

drfoxtrot at the moment I'm just adding men to favourites, that's all. Then one day I'm going to steel myself for rejection and message about ten of them.

I signed up to elite singles yesterday but it was 80 dollars and it didn't give me any matches near me. There were only two matches provided and they were both miles (100) away and they were both 8 years older. I wouldn't rule out a man 8 years older but he'd have to be phenomenal. These men did not look phenomenal. They looked like they were on day release. And I couldn't work out how to search for men nearer to my own age. So I thought fuck this, I cancelled the membership and I bought myself a lovely jacket from mint velvet

Good plan Trills I'm going to copy that narrow window.

Trills, I feel like that about Saturday with mr canceller. He's an intelligent man with a good job and he is well educated and has lived abroad. I'm more like Penny from Big Bang. Penny's older sister. Ok Penny's aunt. But despite that disparity. He has one more chance. IMPRESS me.

If I were in a job where I might HAVE to work beyond 7, I would know it. So I wouldn't say "yes", I would say "let me check" and then get back to you once I'd checked.

Oh 314 I love that jacket! I considered elite singles but glad I didn't now readings what you've written.

So I thought fuck this, I cancelled the membership and I bought myself a lovely jacket from mint velvet

314 I'm not sure why (ok, ok, it might be the two glasses of wine on a Monday night...) but that really made me LOL!

That really is a lovely jacket...good work!

314

I love the jacket too 314 & I'm sure you'll get much more joy from it than so-called no matches elite singles..
take some new profile pics in it & make yr personality "rock chick" :)

DrFoxtrot save your cash! I need to get to grips with tinder when I'm feeling brave. Maybe one of you braver posters could do a tutorial :-p

I think the paid sites are worse for pandering to men's entitlement to a younger woman. eg on pof, you just set your settings so that nobody too old can contact you. And/or you send messages yourself. On the paid sites, I suspect my profile must be invisible to the men who've set their age limit below my age. And supposing I've selected men 44-52, only those very few who've not gone out of their way to exclude my age will show up in my 'matches'' so therefore, I think on paid sites what the men select trumps what the women select. I coudl be wrong about this but I was on a different paid site and I came to the same conclusion.
I'll never bother again.

Well, MrThursday got to the point pretty quickly this time and we're on again for this Thursday (of course).

I'll let you know if he follows up...

ha ha! thanks!
It's so true. That jacket will give me more pleasure than a date with a man with a key on a string around his neck, or cotton wool in his ear.

Touch wood trills

Why dont any of the men on tinder start a conversation why is it always me!! (and breathe) and i dont know what to say half the time because there is hardly any info.

Freaky I'm so thankful I was able to cancel it!

I'm hearing you muddling. I do have some men starting conversations but it's often not the ones I really want to. I'm having a downer tonight. But what I've learned before is that after a lull comes a flurry of activity. Positive thinking

drfox all i feel like putting is hi because thats all i get but Im trying to be a bit more interesting just not feeling creative today just knackered

Oh ladies I'm so glad you're all here! Tinder is interesting but it's so difficult with not much to go on. Most profiles have at most a sentence usually fecking nonsense and I'm still loathe to send the first message. I'm going to have to work on that though!

I really didn't think I was at all shallow but I'm struggling to be attracted to many people too. I would say I swipe right once in 50/60 guys. Is this normal?? I have 26 matches in 24 hours, about 7 of which have sent a message (3 of which have jumped right in with a 'only looking for casual')

Ho hum I suppose I should appreciate the honesty!

what if I run out of men to swipe??

I rarely swipe right on Tinder (actually I've not been on it much recently) - most people are not attractive to me. Either in their looks or how they pose (and with what/who) or in what they write.

That's OK though.

Tomorrow if you walk down a busyish street, think to yourself "are these men attractive?". Most of them are not attractive to you.

muddling I messaged for the first time on Tinder the other day because I hadto send this witty and clever message

'Selfie stick in a kayak? I don't know if that is pure genius or a bit shit really '

He is waaaaay too young for me (28, I'm 36) but he was hot and I was intrigued by the kayaking. Well, the bugger only went and replied when I was with MrMath last night when I was showing something on my phone. The notification came up and everything

fox are you losing patience with crumpet because of your expectations or his behaviour?

Trills your dating game is on fire.

314 I'm from Yorkshire so far too tight to pay for dating apps but the free goes I was really unimpressed by the quality of men on there. I've said it before and I will say it again Tinder is my favourite. Happy to help anyone with a profile on there because I work for them (jokes).

MrsLannister I'd say that is an average swipe right/swipe left ratio. I didn't swipe right much at all.

Thanks Shame. :)

I'm not up to the multi-irons standard of some of the experts but I feel like I'm getting through the frogs at a decent pace.

My date from Friday who I was not sure if I'd see him again or not - not heard a peep. So I guess he is not very interested. And I'm not going to be having "not sure but give it a go" second dates with people who are not very interested. I have better things to do.

Thanks ladies and trills damn right!! We are the prize!

I'm so sure there is someone lovely out there for you all, you seem a top bunch