What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

waving YAYYYY that is all.
Harriet waiting with you, and hoping he messages very soon!
brightmoon how disappointing! Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong but I know it's a difficult one. Get straight back on the horse as it were and try to forget him by stoking up a few new irons. You probably won't be feeling it but a nice distraction if nothing else
handy as someone with distinct lack of irons and a rubbish run of non dates in the last 2 weeks since I started this, your story gives me hope so share away! You and twix sound like a fabulous match
freaky well done on passing your exam and reward yourself with a large helping of bacon
shame sounds lovely, go with it and just enjoy!
Sorry of I've missed anyone

Hello everyone!

Ok this catch up so long overdue I am not sure I will get my head around it..bear with me!

Harriet yay on the date! My mantra is "if you don't know what to text, sit on your hands and keep that phone locked away". It works 90% of the time and it is a good way to assess how keen he is.

Tanya very belated congrats on the job!

Freaky well done on your exam!! Hope you have an awesome celebration with Bacon! How is that looking?

Handy wooohooo am loving the Twix updates! I would say that you two are definitely dating

Sassy so.. The completely unsuitable mrTattoo has turned out to be quite suitable, uh? Love your new approach, definitely inspiring!

Roland glad to see you are back on track! Have fun with the new iron!

Princess i second the yoga thing (I am repeating myself here but I am a huge fan of Yoga With Adrienne on YouTube, free and easy). If you have not had the exclusivity chat, go back online to swipe/find some distraction irons. It really helps with the "coming from a place of abundance" mindset.

MrsLannister good on you for joining Tinder, I agree it is the best free OLD site. I make a point of exhausting my daily likes everyday. You never know what might come of it. Also, yay on the positivity! That is the only way to go and to retain some sanity

Anna I think I would run a mile from MrLowSelfEsteem.. I agree with 314 if you have killed it is probably for the best, don't fall in the emotional fluffer trap, you deserve someone who has his shit together.

Lastnickname time for an iron fishing trip! Throw a few lines here and there and sit tight sipping until the new crop baits.

Doofus yup, another frog bites the dust! Can't believe his message. Proper mansplaining there.

Jollyphonics hey twin! What was the love bombing thing?

Bat I am on Once too but I am not liking it so far. My supposedly hand picked matches all suck. I think my matchmaker hates me haha. Let us know how you get on!

And last WAAAAAAAAVIIIIIIING not fair on the thread to go MIA - Please report position asap.

So... (Previously in Jolly's fucked up love life or absence thereof) after leaving the ball in MrOrganizedYogi's court to organize an actual date tonight following the Saturday debacle, he just texted me saying he is too busy/stressed out doing interviews to arrange anything. I kind of knew it already and was prepared to give him the "I am not an option, come talk to me when you get your shit together or don't" talk. It is fine, he will just get the text version .

Moving on, I have a first date scheduled with KarmicIron tomorrow night! His texting has been perfect so far and this one is the proud owner of heavy duty moose hunting boots.

MrONS might turn out to need another nickname as he managed to send me a silly YouTube video even though I am sure I haven't given him my number.. (And kicked him out of my apartment at 7.30 am yesterday , I am turning into a dude). I am pleasantly impressed.

And gently simmering on the back burner are TinyGrey (still!!), Maple and a couple of new irons from last week's Tinder batch.

And.. That's all folks , phew.

Wow!! I've popped on to the thread just at the right time for some lovely updates!

Waving brilliant to hear your news. Talking, laughing, shagging...I so want that!

Handy you must continue to post in the manner in which you are doing we all need these inspiring stories.

harriet if he's a slow texter then try to stay calm but I know it's so hard. Distraction is the best thing in this situation, even if it involves a swiping session on Tinder.

I've heard from Crumpet this morning, he is not a banter sort of texter but knowing his style and getting used to it is making me relaxed. I really hope to be getting to the losing count of dates stage like you Handy. I just need to secure a third date now...

Freaky I am super excited for the Bacon date and excellent news re your exam

Brightmoon welcome and great advice from Handy. Get that thick skin developed by getting back out there and chatting to a few people at once.

Cross posted with a million posts so I'll catch up now...

JollyX what a shame that it's turned out like it has with MrOrganizedYogi - I had high hopes he would redeem himself after the date debacle. I think your text version of the MH speech is perfect. Great that you have other irons to be getting on with.

I've realised from your post JollyX that Crumpet doesn't appear to be moosehunting at all. He's just there, I'm not sure now whether or not this is a worrying sign. Should he be putting in more effort with texts? It's not his style, and it certrainly hasn't changed from the moment I matched with him. Has anybody had an iron like this who didn't seem to be moosehunting after them?!

Wahaaaay Waving! Lovely update!! Have fun with MTG!

Foxtrot also yay on Crumpet!

Welcome Brightmoon! I would (brutally, sorry) say this guy is unfortunately full of shit, it has nothing to do with you. Trust your gut, if you felt the need to check whether he was still online, you probably knew deep down you couldn't trust him. Onwards and upwards!

Yikes, x posted again.. Fox are you happy with the way Crumpet treats you or do you feel you need more? If you don't it doesn't really matter. But if you need more pursuing, just back off a little a see how he reacts..

jollyx loving your style and all your irons! Now that's the way to do it!
foxtrot sending you positive vibes for another success date ASAP with crumpet

yeeeeeyyyyyyyy to waving You sound like you are having a cracking time.

handy what you wrote about twix was...bloody amazing. Yes you are lucky to have found him but I also reckon he is more lucky to have found you. You sound fucking lovely I need to remember this >>we are both going with the flow in a -dating-as-discovery stylee... And that's exactly what I want. No fast-forwarding, just unfolding and gradually getting to know each other. It feels very simple and undramatic. Yet bloody wonderful.

Freaky thanks, the masters is proper hard work. Especially when I procrastinate on MN and moon over Math . As well as having 2 jobs and 3dc's. Hopefully will be worth it when I graduate!

Oh yay Waving! That all sounds just absolutely bloody perfect! So pleased for you.

Brightmoon Welcome! You did nothing wrong. Nothing. It's all him.

JollyX Things are looking good with Bacon... I think. I'm still a bit about him appearing to not do anything but I think I am being a bit unfair. And he's been very sweet and supportive about my exam and just nice and bantery in general so I'm hopeful that we'll get on...Good luck with your date with KarmicIron and good work with MrOrganizedYogi - he seems to be a total flake!

Foxtrot. If you are worried about Crumpet's moosehunting abilities, just back off a little and see what happens. Being "just there" is no bad thing as long as he stays just there...

fox math isn't a prolific texter (his words) and is always surprised when I say if you are not feeling up to a date, it's cool as you have gone quiet. The tortured musician was a massive texter (mostly about his 'fans' ) and he turned out to be a right weirdo so it's not always indicative of how they feel. If crumpet hasn't changed his style then it is just him maybe?

Thanks everyone...feeling a little delicate over it all. We've spent the last 8 weeks messaging lots every day but better to be on own than with an idiot! I did have my suspicions he wasn't trustworthy.

Lovely to hear some positive stories on here! So which websites does everyone prefer?

brightmoon I'd be really quite if that happened to me too, 8 weeks is quite a bit of time to invest in someone, and I'm not surprised you are a bit fed up about it.
I prefer tinder for the ease of it, just swiping merrily along, but I do find it a bit difficult that you get a match, feel a bit pleased and then they never message! Or even reply to my message? Weird. POF I like too, in that you can see a bit more info about them, tinder often has nothing but a couple of photos

Thanks everyone. JollyX I'm very happy with how things are when I've met him, only twice but he was lovely. I'm used to other men texting frequently with 'I can't wait to see you again' and a little flirtiness too. He does not text like that at all, and if I've hinted with a little flirtiness he hasn't engaged . But in real life he's as I would expect. Freaky I think I will back off a little but it's difficult to back off any more than I am! Shame I think it is just him, my gut is telling me it's just him. Not like my slow fader from several weeks ago who texted all the time and then gradually eased back, my instinct was correct then.

I will report back with news when I hear it! Thanks for the positive vibes last. I invested quite a bit of time in slow fader but I only met him twice in about six weeks. I never had a reason from him for the gradual cutting of contact apart from that he was busy. At least Crumpet's texting style is not allowing me to be swept away. I'm not smitten yet but I do want to be at some point!!

It's really bothering me now that it's nearly 3pm and I've still not heard a reply to my text! If he doesn't respond tonight then what do I do?! We usually speak every single day and to not text back by now is a bit out of character. I thought it went so well too

Awww Harriet there's nothing to do except wait, wait, wait.... I'm sorry he's keeping you hanging on - perhaps he forgot to pack his phone charger? Annoying!!

Foxtrot Twix is a bit like that. Impervious to flirtatious texting. Zero words of reassurance. Just friendly, easy messages... Bit unnerving but also coming across as genuine? Hang on to the genuine-ness. It's an underrated quality... On this basis I would say stick with it rather than pull back...

Thanks Handy that's really reassuring to hear. What you've described is exactly how he is. I think he is genuine and a very steady person. I'm going to stick with it, it's not really making me anxious, rather he's just so different to what I've experienced in the past.

harriet I hate that feeling, it's so upsetting . Hopefully there is a good explanation. But get distracted now, have a tinder swiping rampage and start getting more matches to turn into irons. It's the only way. If it turns out he is ghosting you and has disappeared then you have made a start in moving forwards.

JollyX you navigate this OLD lark with ease! Mr OrganisedWetFart deserves the MH speech.

Communication from your ONS man hey, do you think there dating potential there? You totally MH'd this guy too......

Have fun with MrKarmaChameleon... sorry, I just renamed your iron.

Yes handy and fox that is it exactly! The hottest it gets between Math and I for texting is when we call David Cameron a pie faced shit . No flirting or innuendo's just very perfunctory friendly texts to organise stuff or say we had a good night. Totally different story when we meet up though, it is weird. I think Math keeps his short, sweet and infrequent because he thinks we are being spied on in some government conspiracy . I think it is genuine-ness (word?) toohandy. No bullshit?

harriet perhaps he is making his journey home and isfocussing on that and getting his equilbrium back? Keep the faith.

He replied to a snapchat via chat, asking how on earth i managed to get to work on time this morning, but he hasn't replied to my text! I replied and asked if he had a good night and how is he. We shall see what he says!

haha handy it only took me 5 months to get there! Re MrONS, he is definitely hot (!!) and fun, whether he is also nice remains to be seen.. I might give him a chance to take it outside of the bedroom actually.. and cheers, hopefully KarmicKarmaChameleonIron will live up his texting!

You know I think MrDisorganizedYogi will come back at some point. I am not holding my breath but something tells me I have not seen the last of him and this was just the wrong timing. That one is the archetype of the "single tracked, unable to multitask" man. And his obvious priority is to find a job so that he can move back out of his parents house (middle of nowhere AND overbearing mother). It is proving harder than he thought and he is flipping out at the idea of getting stuck there (add social pressure to that). Anyways, I get where he is coming from even though that does not change the fact I won't be hanging around waiting for him to sort his life out or begging for crumbs of his attention while he does it. He knows where I am, if MrONS could find me, I think that one can too ;)

Oh and Thread, I just found this 50 ways to hack your love life article by MH - pretty good!!

Phew I'm glad you are also experiencing this text non-flirtiness too Shame. I'm going to just go with the flow and see if Crumpet delivers.

In other news, a long lost iron (well, 1 week with no messages) has just sent a message and thrown me into turmoil. He's GORGEOUS. I've a couple of irons that are well and truly cooled but hanging there ready to get back if needed. He is one and I'm not sure now what to do. Once you've slept with one iron, is it bad form to arrange dates with another? I'm tempted to just simmer him, I am busy with school hols this week, just in case Crumpet disappears.

harriet if he is avoiding any talk of last night and future dates, it might not be looking hopeful. See what happens over the next 24hrs or so.

JollyX I'm going to read the link.

Ooh gawd Harriet

By this point if it were me (which it isn't) I would be

Which would be annoying, but I would then find it easier to not be dangled on a string waiting for a response......

It would put me off him, actually.

Get swiping if you can I would also find that hard.

Grrrrrr!

... see what happens though. You know that men are good at compartmentalising... plus don't forget - you're the prize!!

Waving great news!

Handy glad to see you so happy with Twix :)

Fox sounds like you and Crumpet are enjoying each other, no need to put pressure on that if he seems the steady type?

Harriet Is he working today? He might also be playing it cool, of course!

Jolly thanks for the link!

Well my Doctor I'm seeing on Weds is very uncommunicative on text/email, but is an older guy (mid fifties) so perhaps just not used to chatting beforehand. Our date is within walking distance and I've not got any other plans so if he turns out to be dull as, I've not really missed anything. Especially if he pays for my drink(s)

Thinking about dropping Mr Bulldog a message to see if he's recovered from his manflu serious cold and wants to meet up on Thurs. But in one of his messages after he said he was ill he called me "hunni" so I'm a bit .

Also still got Baggage Handler on the back burner but his shifts won't allow a date for a couple of weeks yet.

I've realised I'm not very good at talking to multiple men at once - I'm good at multi-tasking normally but I find this exhausting! So I'm not looking for any more irons right now and actually I'll see how things go with The Doctor before deciding whether to message Bulldog.

Yay waving brilliant stuff.

That's at least you, me and handy all totally loved up in the past couple of months. And a few more looking promising by the sounds of things on here. Great stuff. And to all those feeling a bit drained by it all, keep going. Honestly, it's worth searching and waiting to find the one who rocks your world