What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Test

jolly I had the same problem. Tried to post twice and lost both. Most put out! They were EPIC posts too!!! Pieces that could have gone down in history as my finest work maybe not

Try this again lol
anna im not sure feeling really nervous about sending him at text guess it just makes everything more real.
Ive had a busy day so just catching up with everything need to make a decision soon though!

muddling send the text.

Right ladies. I posted at the very beginning of the thread assuring you that I was going to try tinder! Well life got in the way but tonight is the tonight, sod it!

Any tips?? What should I write in my profile? I'm so inspired by the positive attitude on here and am keen to project my worth from the beginning

Tinder tips:
Smile in your photos.
If there is something about you that some people would find a turnoff (striking glasses, tattoos, piercings, a particualr personal style, etc) make a feature of it. That was you're more likely to get lots of attention from people who LIKE that thing about you.
Don't ever feel obliged to talk to anyone.
Many people you match with will not actually talk to you, or you will not enjoy talking to them, or they will disappear after a few messages. That's not your fault. That's just what happens. Don't get to excited after a few messages.

Foxtrot Bacon date is Saturday! Can't come soon enough to be honest...it's not that I am excited (though I am, a bit), it's just that I've built it up to too much as it's been so long in coming. Today I am a bit worried as he never seems to DO anything. Never mentions seeing friends or doing anything other than work and gym so I'm a bit worried that he might be dull... Not that I've got an amazing social life but I've got a few hobbies and things on the go. But we'll see...maybe he does loads of interesting stuff and just hasn't mentioned it yet?!

Sounds good about Crumpet. Steady, grounded and nice physical attention are all very good attributes! Is it just the lack of texting that bothers you? That can probably be remedied with time.

Doofus Ugh! I HATE mainsplaining. Your instinct and self-respect do indeed sound in perfect working order and you totally did the right thing by telling this dickhead to do one...

Jollyx Excellent work with the "can you hold my drink?" and the subsequent ONS. Well done!

Handy Date 8 already?! That's just so lovely. You are definitely "dating" and heading towards the "seeing someone" territory, I'd say.

Hi to everyone else and good grief, does this thread move quickly!

Ha ha toosassy mine was a rambling insecure moan about whether I may have been love-bombed, but I think the fact it wouldn't post is fate, and I need to stop obsessing!

Sent it anna

Evening everyone! Wow what a busy weekend of dates, some better than others!
I'm a bit lost on names and who's been where/done what but I'm loving the no nonsense attitudes of all here and the way we encourage each other to not take any bs, spot red flags and give the push to send those brush off messages when they are due! Go ladies, fecking awesome thread this one

Absolutely nothing doing here, even though I've been super pro active and sending loads of messages myself. (Only one initially, if they don't respond tough!) the matches I've had one tinder were the silver fox who I unmatched after his dull and frankly illiterate messages, and the mr OTT and over keen who superliked me then bombarded me with fawning messages making me feel quite uneasy. We had arranged to meet up for a date tomorrow evening but I couldn't bring myself to go so I'm ashamed to say I took the cowards way out and unmatched him
Single dad has disappeared again, I'm not bothering anymore. Slow burner still keeps doing the same half hearted odd message, I reply all chatty and nothing! So I ignore him thinking that's the end of it and a few days later he does the same? I don't want a penpal but he doesn't seem the least bit fussed about meeting... So all crap my end!!

MrsLannister Yes, agree with Trills to smile in your pics.
As for what to write in your profile, keep it short and snappy and include things that are important to you in there. Mine is basically a summary of my likes and dislikes but in a (I hope!) witty way. It gives something to talk about and also gets across that I have a child and I don't do hookups so if either of those are a problem, they can just swipe left!
Don't be disheartened if people unmatch you...it happens all the time, even after you've spoken for a bit. People not messaging after matching is also annoyingly common.

Thanks for the tips ladies!! In going to join once I have little one in bed.

I'm totally going in with a different attitude to my pof journey which included not messaging people if they didn't message me, mirroring their messaging patterns, getting over invested and not setting out what I wanted initially. I am going to be so much more proactive this time, I'm not getting caught up in loads of texts and bearing in mind that I am the prize!! Love this thread

jolly more on the love bombed please!

toosassy I think I was being paranoid. It seems OK now.

Well my post was replying to a lot of yours plus an update. Don't have the energy to write it a third time so I'll just give an update.

handy yes I heard from mrtattoo and we had a v impromptu date today as we wanted to see one another pre next Sat. It was easy and fun and just lovely. Left me smiling and it's been very much needed. It's reiterated that dates this early on should be easy and fun and not leave me confused or wondering what they meant.

It's Sassy dating mode 2.0 now!

Evening to all you lovely ladies.

I'm sorry I can't remember half the posts/names. However well done on the dates and ons jollyx

I have a new iron, he's just asked when I'm free so we've set up a date next Saturday. He seems relatively sane which is always a bonus and he's local to me, again another bonus. Really lost my dating mojo these last few weeks so hoping this will snap me back into shape!

Nice one sassy! Sounds like a lovely easy date..perfect
Well done on the new iron roland where from? Tinder/POF etc? I've lost my mojo a bit too as I don't seem to be getting anywhere

Jollyp my emergency wax was not wasted this weekend either

Anna I am sure I will see Crumpet again but there's no definite plans yet. I'll text tomorrow and see what we can sort out. I'm off with the kids all week so probably won't see him until next week.

Freaky the lack of texting did bother me initially but I think it is just his style and if the level of texting never changes then I'll get used to it as it's just him. I feel relaxed about the whole situation because if I never heard from him again there are a couple of back burners up my sleeve, more like cooled irons! But I am hoping to hear from him.

Roland hello! MrsLannister some good tips there. You'll find your feet and get used to tinder quite quickly. I really like it. Sassy easy fun and lovely sounds brilliant.

I might have just behaved like a weirdo on POF.
I've been chatting to a potential iron all evening, we've exchanged dozens of messages. He comes across as kind, clever and interesting and fit too but he has no self belief whatsoever.
So my goodnight message to him was off topic and saying that he seemed kind, clever and interesting and I didn't know why he didn't believe that but he should.
I expect I've just killed it but I couldn't help myself!

AnnaChronism I've had a similar iron in the past. I still don't know what to make of him so can't offer any advice - please tell me you're not in the East Midlands? I've stepped right back and left the ball firmly in his court. I really, really like him, and I believe deep down he likes me too but I'm not sure I'm in a position to start fixing issues. I'm a flippant tinderer

In other news I'm getting a bit too hung up on a proper iron that is more a definite potential these days. In that I've dropped the others (including Mr No self belief) and do nowt but talk to him, I have met him a few times in my defence... I either need to keep reading the lovely stories on here or get a swift slap! I'll let you all know over the next few weeks

Thanks bingo I'm not in the East Midlands, no.
What's the name of the new iron?

a rl xbf of mine had a low self-esteem anna and it wasn't even immediately apparent. It is hard work and not worth it.

ps, and my own self-esteem could flounder at times!! so i'd have had sympathy for him, but he couldn't tell which unreasonable behaviours came from his own low self-esteem.

So if you're getting that early on, swerve, swerve, swerve. This is the man I have referred to as 'fake buddist' on earlier threads. don't know if you were lurking, but he was so angry with me when i finished it with him. he came out with all sorts of madness.

Had my first date since splitting from my ex 6 months ago. Had an amazing time, he was the perfect gentleman and made me laugh all night. There is a 90 minute distance between us both so I'm not sure what he thinks about that but he's made me feel very happy this morning! Not sure how all this works now as I've not been dating for years! I will have to wait and see what he has to say today but I hope he feels the same!

Yeh, I know Ocelot had problems posting yesterday.

any update from waving?

shameandregret just read your post about the guy doing a line in front of you! I'd have been shocked too! I'd probably have tried to look unshocked but I'd also have done a quick non-return from bathroom after half the pint!