What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Morning folks. My last update last night was written in the pub while waiting for him to come back from the loo and walk me to my bus stop. At that point there had been good free-flowing talk and some snogging.

He then spent the whole walk to the bus stop, and the whole 7 minutes waiting for my bus, trying to change my mind about him coming back to mine. Despite me saying very clearly, more than once, "No, that is not going to happen."

It left a really bad taste in my mouth for the end of the date and I'm actually quite angry. Given another couple of faux pas - he told the waitress we were finished with our food without asking me (I wasn't!) and he didn't leave a tip - I think I'll be taking this iron out of the fire. Shame, as conversation was really great, but boundaries are really important to me.

Ugh Doofus that's awful! I totally agree with you re boundaries. If that's how he behaves on the first date...how's he going to be a few dates down the line?

doofus he sounds wanky. Ditch. First dates are meant to leave you wanting more, not a bad taste.

anna you don't sound that keen? If you really liked him you would see him tonight surely?

Second date for me tonight with MrMath but I have a huge hangover and a 6 hour shift to contend with first. Think I would rather crawl into bed tonight.

Hello everybody!

Update on second Crumpet date - it was good, ended up staying over at his with some very nice physical attention . The hot chemistry from the first date was not totally there initially it grew again as the night went on. I wasn't sure of how he feels about me but I think that I'm used to men fawning over me and falling over themselves with texts. But this is not his style. He's steady and grounded and I think that will be really good for me. He ticks all the boxes and I'm going to continue to see him and let it grow. He wants to see me again so I'm not going to stress about lack of texts etc.

Freaky when is your Bacon date?

Sassy good news about your date. I agree with the initial attraction, it's either there or it isn't. That's why I'm going to continue seeing Crumpet. Even though it was slightly cooler last night, the initial attraction was quite intense.

Doofus agree get that iron out of the fire. What a shame he wrecked things with his behaviour but better to find out on the first date!

Handy hope you're feeling better soon and I hope things are going well with Twix.

Jollyx that's appalling date behaviour by MrOrganizedYogi but I think a third date to allow him chance to redeem himself is a good idea.

Anna if you think the attraction can grow a second date might be a good idea but usually for me the spark has to be there straight away.

lacoba I think it's a good idea to continue with Diamond with what you've said about him apologising and deleting the apps. But have a very low threshold for dealing with any further wanky behaviour.

Sorry that happened to you Doofus, but as others have said it's best to find it out earlier rather than waste any more of your time on him. Do men really think that pestering you to go back to your house will make them seem attractive?

Thanks all. Yes Trills exactly, it could not be more off putting to who I am now. But a few years ago before I had my shit together and understood boundaries, I probably would have given in. So if all they care about is getting a shag then I guess they think it's worth a try

I've sent him a text now and said basically you were too pushy and I don't want to see you again. Then he sent a long text that was basically "Sorry you felt that way but you're wrong and this is why" Mansplaining prick! Decision confirmed!

Ladies, re: chemistry. What if you meet a man and find him very attractive (to the point where your groin tingles when he accidentally brushes his leg against yours) and YET there is little 'fun' in the way of bants? What does the future hold for that?

Doofus your experience reminds me of an iron not so long ago that insisted on walking me home and asked if he could wait in my livingroom for his taxi, then proceeded to get his knob out. Dude has been trying to convince me he's a 'good guy' ever since.

Well done.

Again, does he think that him explaining why you were wrong to think he was pushy would make you want to see him again?

Or does he just want to get "the last word"?

Doofus sounds like the iron I just mentioned. My iron's excuse was that he was drunk AND....listen to this... because I had made sexual banter during the date, I was obviously up for it.

What did your iron say to defend/excuse himself?

Got a date with a BRAND NEW iron in 2 hours! He's a baker, which wouldn't normally impress me (sorry, career snob here), but his bants are good AND he looks like the ginger dude from The Revenant, which I find unbearably attractive. I have high hopes for this one. Will feel quite deflated if it's a flop.

Good luck Geordie! In regards to the thing where you fancy them but they're a bit of a dull talker, I'd consider them as a booty call, but if they can't hold a decent conversation I'm going to get bored really quickly.

My rejected iron basically just said "I'm not pushy actually and I do respect you" along with a load of other guff about how I was hurting his feels. Oh waily waily, son!

If he'd said "I'm really sorry I made you uncomfortable - I felt so attracted to you that my manners temporarily went out the window. Please give me a chance to show you I can do better" Then I'd have given him another shot. Dick. Still never mind, it's not like I've wasted more than 3 hours on him!

Had someone message me last night while out with reject, in response to a message I sent him 2 weeks ago. Might develop into an iron. Also still got Baggage Handler and Mr Bulldog on the fire, so plenty of options 😊

Hi all,

my god the combination of drugs/sleep/sex/TwixFix and I'm on TOP. Of the freaking WORLD!

Anyway....,

Geordie good luck with today's date and shame about guy being about the lack of time. How unattractive. I'd be tempted to bin him off I think.

Doofus pressure to go home with you = total Dealbreaker no matter how 'OK' the date.

Lacoba I'm glad that you're going with your gut (and your clit) with Diamond. Do you WANT to meet his folks? Will it be informal?

Talking of going with the vibes - YEY AND HOORAY for MrTattoo Sassy heard from him yet?

last well done for binning the silver dunce. I would have been tempted to message 'NO PUNCTUATION = NO DATE' haha!!!

Trills do you think he could be a grower? What does your gut say? It doesn't lie. Cooking class sounds brilliant fun.

JollyX so..... did you 'get the guy' MH Style? WYF re OrgYogi. Nothing else to say. Love the way you handled it....

Anna enjoy a night off dating and fantasising about Pugwash. Another thumbs up here for going with the gut...

Foxtrot delighted to hear you had an overnighter with Crumpet!!!

So much good stuff happening on this thread!!!!!!

When's waving back???

Twix date 8 - just feels so undramatic yet blissful at the same time. I'm a very reluctant cook and tried a recipe that went a bit wrong but he was complimentary about the meal. So am still an eensy bit nervous st times. Had butterflies before he arrived. But he's so comfortable to be around and I sleep the most amazing sleep when I'm with him something to do with his bedroom skills perhaps

Happy Happy Happy

When I get to date 10 can I just say I'm 'dating' now??????? Eeeeek!!!

Handy that sounds wonderful! I'm pretty sure you can say you're dating now?!

Good luck Geordie!

I know I'm going to miss people out, apologies in advance.

Doofus he sounds like a twat, you are well rid.

Trills another sociable introvert here I definitely need a balance between being with people, and time on my own.

Handy . That is all.

I saw Waving snuck in a while back to say it was going well It was only 3 days, wasn't it? So she must be back soon ...

Geordie good luck with the baker ...

last I am being much less tolerant about dodgy spelling, syntax, grammar and just generally inarticulate messages/profiles. I man who's good with words is very sexy ...

JollyX spill, we need to know if you got him ...

Someone a while back was talking about DTD - I'm another for whom it's very important. No way would I stay with someone that I wasn't compatible with sexually, so I don't want to invest time to have 6 or more dates, only to find that it's no good.

muddling someone has weight 'requirements'?? Like, the woman has to weigh 8 stone or something? I'd pass on him, he sounds like an arse ...

MrM has been messaging nicely today, and we are talking about our date on Tuesday. In advance. Making plans and everything. This is progress!

The 44 year old Belgian I was messaging on OKC is very dull, I've decided. And my penpal iron is still ill, but has messaged to say he will Whatsapp me when he's better.

Sassy MrTattoo sounds good. And From here on in, if it doesn't click and feel right/ easy from the first date then I won't have date two. I think this is a good idea. I feel like I just 'know'. I have to want to kiss them jump their bones otherwise it's not a goer ....

So muddling what, if anything will you do about biker?

Ugh Doofus that's horrible. No means no and if he doesn't take no for an answer now that's unlikely to improve. I hope you're ok? That's not a nice feeling.

Dr Foxtrot sounds like you had a great night with crumpet, are you seeing him again?

Jollyx I'm not sure I would give Mr Organised Yogi a third date chance but what do you think? Are you feeling fuzzy headed today?

Geordie if I fancy someone that much then I'd definitely have to see them again and again and again the banter might develop? I'm not often very chatty and funny on a first date.
Good luck with your date.

That does sound lovely handy, it's good to read a happy post like that.

On reflection I don't know whether I will see Charidee again he could be a good friend but there's just no spark and his home life is complicated.
As for Pugwash there was the fat comment, then a second misdemeanour so a 3rd strike and he's out. He's away for the weekend I wasn't expecting him to be in touch but I'm going to wait for him to message me next. And if he doesn't then he doesn't and I'll move along.
I'm about to log onto POF so more iron updates shortly.

I've just downloaded a dating app called Once. They send you one match a day (I passed on mine, but you can look and choose yourself ....)

Haha, quick update as I need to run and can't do a catch up.. I did get him using the "can you hold my drink" line.. Nice guy but just a ONS I think. At least my waxing wasn't wasted haha

JollyX

You are an inspiration jollyx

Awesome jolly nothing wrong with a good ONS!

Anna thank you, I'm fine today, in fact I feel really strong and confident - it's been nerve wracking jumping back in the dating pool after so long away and it's good to know that my instinct and self-respect are actually STRONGER than they have ever been before. Onward and upward!

Just reading what happened to Doofus. Geez, the only text that could have redeemed him slightly would have been a straightforward apology. Telling you doofos that his feelings are hurt wow. But it is good to know the old radar is bleeping right!

Cant seem to post . Testing

Just typed long post and it wouldn't send. Grrrr