What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

eat314 google dismissive attachment style.

Trills, I hate that too. Only ugly people can be single. If ugly people are single it's no mystery but if somebody, anybody at all would ''have you'' then your single status requires and explanation. Very annoying mindset.

Thanks Geordie!

What on earth would you make of someone whose username was baggagefreezone ?
Er, nope. You sound super dodgy.

Does he mean himself maybe?

OMG, just got my first reply to the polite-ish message to people who just say "hi" and it was "That's good to know thanks"

I was absolutely expecting abuse!

Still don't want to talk to him but my faith in humanity has been boosted a little.

Oh he may be referring to himself as being baggage-free but making baggage be the subject of your username seems weeeeeird to me. What experiences has he had in the past that make that the first thing he wants me to think of?

Loo update: well this one hell of a fucking weird date #2 with MrOrganizedYogi. He started by introducing me to friends at the gallery and we ended up meeting other friends of his and going to dinner the whole 10 of us.. So am stuck making small talk to the lot of them and he just leaves me to it!?! We are all supposed to go to a concert now and he wants to go back home since it is a mere 2h from where we are! Think it is time for a chat and call him out on the BS. One hell of a date indeed..

Date #2 and he invited 8 other people? What?

I think it is more the other way around Trills - he made us two crash the dinner party. These guys are fun but WTAF is that about?! Plus I have social anxiety so I think I am pulling the plug on this. Am drained.

I would leave.

If he arranges to see you and is invited to a group thing, he can decide whether to rearrange your date or to not go to the group event. He can't try to combine the two.

WTF Jolly I would just get out now and don't even bother making your excuses!

Ok dinner is over. I just pulled him apart and told him what I thought of this bloody circus. He did not even try to defend himself and says he was not thinking (came back tonight from a 3 days trip, doing interviews and getting pissed with friends - he is genuinely shattered). He asked me out for Monday night and, acting on the proviso it was just a terrible idea for a date, I agreed and made it crystal clear he had to switch gears as there would not be a third chance.

Am off to MY friend's bday party and left the fucker to catch his train home to the middle of nowhere.

He was very awkward around me too the whole time, even before we were surrounded by his friends. Very odd, considering last time he was practically jumping my bones in the middle of the street. Also he kept talking about finding a job anywhere but where we both live (even though I know he has a applied here too).

Oh and cherry on the disaster date cake, I learnt from his friends that his mum is basically an overbearing monster and his dad is not much better. Oh dear. I need to run, and fast, right???

Onwards to a birthday party at half eleven!

I like it.

Make the most of your night!

I'm home.
I had a lovely evening, considering it was supposed to be a quick drink at 6ish we had drinks, then went for cocktails then dinner!
He is excellent company, by the end of the evening he had grown on me> MAybe I could fancy him given time I don't know.

Trills, haha it is 0.30 am here! party is going strong and I am about to go up to a dude I just spotted a la MH. I don't get defeated that easily

Did I mention I am a bitch? And a bit drunk?

Hy
Y lyke your photo

I like the letter i

The phone ys crazy:))

A poor workman blames his tools

What Ys your job?
You love to Cook.
Me to y m chef

You love to put capital Letters at the beginning of Words

trills

Go get him JollyX

When it comes to MH do you all get emails with links to very expensive further advice and articles?

I have not subscribed to MH in any way because I don't really like to get information in video form.

If he wrote it down I might read it.

Trills he has written it down. That's the expensive bit. Something I clicked on was $297 gulp

. I feel things are going well!

phonics great news re funny. Is another date arranged?

geordie red flags galore! Run!!!!

fox how was date with crumpet?

anna go you with your irons!!!

handy we need a twix update!

doofus one from you also!

lacoba well fair play to diamond. Are you ready to meet his parents?

freaky tattoo has enough to keep me occupied. I've suddenly developed a fetish for toned men who have tattoos!

trills that's so interesting re you being a social introvert. Do you ever explain that to people you are dating?

jolly that is plain WEIRD! Yes. Cut this one loose. Exceptionally poor social skills / very self centred.
Hopefully the birthday party was more fun!

Second date with mrtattoo in the diary for next weekend! Really looking forward to it!

Re the questions regarding chemistry, I've found three things

1. where there has been a physical attraction from the first date and We've then hit it off personality wise, it's always worked (I.e we've dated etc for a while and it's been a positive experience)
2. when there hasn't been that physical attraction but I've persevered because they are ok enough then it's never worked. I've realised that by the end of the first date I have an excellent feel of the vibe of us as two people. If the attraction isn't there it's because something is off. When I've ignored that and persevered it has never gone anywhere.
3. the only (exceptionally rare) scenario is when you don't have instant chemistry but get to know someone over a length of time (friend etc) and then something develops. Those are real gems but I think uber hard to find.

From here on in, if it doesn't click and feel right/ easy from the first date then I won't have date two.

I agree Sassy its always been that way with me too - though the initial attraction can grow... I don't want to believe it theoretically but it seems to be so in practice. ...

Morning sassy last nights date wants another date tonight. I'm going to turn that down nicely as I want a night off.
I didn't fancy him so far but I will go out with him again, he's Charidee.

Trouble is whether I'm his fattest girlfriend ever or not I really want to rip Captain Pugwash's clothes off. I haven't messaged him since Friday night and neither has he but it's my 'turn' to message. I'm not going to message him and see what happens.

I haven't logged onto POF yet today so I'll go and see whether the other irons are biting.

I'm thread hogging so I'll stop now.
Any further updates from the other daters last night?

The man i was messaging last night (from now on known as biker) has sent me his mobile number and the next step us up to me!
Seen someone on match but he has really low weight requirements which i would be scraping healthy bmi if i was the max weight. Shame really wonder why they put such low weights they are losing out on so many lovely people